Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Week 13: Schedule

Here is your Week 13 schedule.  Don't forget to get at least your Thursday night pick to me by 8:20pm EST.  The rest of your picks are due on Sunday at 1pm EST.

Thursday Night

Houston at Philadelphia

Sunday & Monday

New Orleans at Cincinnati
Cleveland at Miami
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Washington at New York "Cat Vagina" Giants
San Francisco at Green Bay
Chicago at Detroit
Denver at Kansas City
Buffalo at Minnesota
Oakland at San Diego
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Carolina at Seattle
St. Louis at Arizona
Dallas at Indianapolis
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
New York Jets at New England (plus total points)

Week 12: Results

In the words of Spaulding, double turds!!

The final score of the Monday night game was 27-6, for a point total of 33.  One more field goal and Gedeon would have won, one less and I would have won (DAMMIT!!!!), but things worked out perfectly for Karl Vaillancourt, who is this week's big wiener!!  Congratulations, Karl!  You win this week's prize, Mike Shanahan's actual scalp, extracted courtesy of fellow pool(poop!) participant Mr. Alex Mena who surely lost his frigg'n mind, drove to DC and performed impromptu surgery on Mr. Shanahan in the back of a van parked in a 7-11 parking lot.  So watch for a plastic bag containing part of an actual human head!  Yay!

With that beautiful image in your mind's eye, here's the way Week 12 ended up:

1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 13-3
1. Gedeon Mariam ... 13-3
1. Dave Labowitz ... 13-3
1. Matthew Kory ... 13-3
5. Bill Denton ... 12-4
5. Robin Wood ... 12-4
7. George Smith ... 11-5
7. Jon Stover ... 11-5
9. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
9. Sandy Kory ... 10-6
9. Alex Mena ... 10-6
12. Josh Money ... 9-7
12. Zack Klein ... 9-7
14. Joey Bansen ... 8-8
14. John Weaver ... 8-8

Overall, the field has narrowed.  Last week 16 games separated first from last.  This week its down to 11.  If you were behind in the pool(poop!) its a safe bet you had a good week, and if you were at the front of the pool(poop!) you probably sucked some poop from a straw. 

Last week we had the John Weaver is kicking all of our asses post, but this week Weaver's 8-8 showing has helped everyone pick up a few games.  For example, I picked up 7 games on John in one week.  Don't expect that to happen again.  Dave picked up five games to vault himself into a second place tie* with Sandy, who picked up two games on John himself.  Zack, despite a lousy week himself, picked up a game on John as well, moving to within three.  Unfortunately for him he was leap-frogged by Dave and Sandy.  Karl's strong week moved him to five games back. 


All that said, John is still in first by two games, so its not like he's doing that badly.

I've included a new column after your record.  The number of games out of first place is in parentheses after your overall record.  At long last, here are your Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 12:

1. John Weaver ... 112-58 ... (-)
2. Sandy Kory ... 110-60 ... (-2)
2. Dave Labowitz ... 110-60 ... (-2)
4. Zack Klein ... 109-61 ... (-3)
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 107-63 ... (-5)
5. Jon Stover ... 107-63 ... (-5)
5. Josh Money ... 107-63 ... (-5)
5. Alex Mena ... 107-63 ... (-5)
9. George Smith ... 105-65 ... (-7)
9. Bill Denton ... 105-65 ... (-7)
9. Matthew Kory ... 105-65 ... (-7)
12. Robin Wood ... 104-66 ... (-8)
12. Matthew Mariam ... 104-66 ... (-8)
14. Joey Bansen ... 103-67 ... (-9)
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 101-69 ... (-11)

Congrats again to Karl.  I'll have the schedule for Week 13 up soon.  Remember, Week 13 begins this Thursday, so don't forget to get that game to me by game time.  The rest are due at the start of the games on Sunday.

Hope you all have a great week.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Week 12: Update

Sorry for the delayed Update.  Here's the story of Week 12 so far. 

Through the first 15 games, four people lead the way with 12-3 records.  Those people are Karl "Meet me in the food" Vaillancourt (32), Dave "The Jewish Leprechaun" Lab-O'Witz (38), Gedeon "Little Hotel Bible" Mariam (35), and your humble Pool(poop) runner-person*.  Yes, apparently a blind squirrel is right twice a day.**



As is often the case, every leader picked the same team to win on Monday night.  All four of us picked San Francisco to beat Arizona.  That leaves an opening for someone with 11 wins to sneak onto the top tier, should the Monday night game not go San Francisco's way.  Bill Denton and Robin Wood are both 11-4, a game off the pace.  Unfortunately for them (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) both also picked San Francisco to win tonight.  So no hot soup for them. 

That means for the purposes of determining the weekly wiener the actual winner of the Monday night game is irrelevant.  Its going to come down to Monday Night Points (MNP) either way.  As you'll recall, we play Price Is Right style here in MFSAFP(p!)!.  The person who is the closest to the actual points scored without going over is the big wiener. 

Dave picked 38, Gedeon 35, Karl 32 and I chose 25.   That means if the point total is...

...0 to 31, Matthew Kory (ME!!!) wins.
...32, 33 or 34, Karl Vaillancourt wins.
...35, 36, or 37 Gedeon Mariam wins.
...38 or more, Dave Labowitz wins.

Best of luck to everyone, but mostly to Jon Stover. 

Friday, November 26, 2010

Week 12: Pre-Update

If you're looking for the Week 12 schedule post scroll down or click here.  As a reminder, I post my picks in the comments section of each schedule post.  That way you can be sure I'm on the level.  Or, alternately, you could just look at my place in the standings and conclude that I'm the world's worst cheater.  In any case...

We're three games into Week 12 and only one of the games was expected to be remotely competitive. Fitting that, we had lots of consensus on the Thanksgiving day games.  So rather than post everyone's record, we'll do it like this, narrative style. 

Everyone in the pool picked the Jets to beat Cincinnati.  So no matter who you are, give yourself a +1 for that game. 

Everyone in the pool except one person took the Patriots over Detroit.  Going against the grain didn't look like a bad idea through the first half, but then someone in the locker rooms reminded the players their role.  After that, the game fell apart for the perpetually inept Lions.  +1 for everyone except Matthew Mariam for that game.  (A big -1 for me for not starting Deion Branch and his two TDs against Bill Denton in our fantasy football league.)

Just about everyone is 2-0 as we come to the most contested game of the day's schedule, New Orleans at Dallas.  The Cowboys have played well since firing head coach Tubby McGoo and replacing him with Sheriff Slim Touchdown-Schultz.  (Ah, the wonder of the hyphenated last name.)  The Saints, as everyone knows, are the defending Super Bowl champs.  Predictably most people picked New Orleans, but five brave souls did go out on a smallish limb and take the home team.  The Cowboys made a late run, but ultimately those of us Redskins fans had a nice little Thanksgiving present.  A +1 for you if your name isn't John Weaver, Jon Stover, Sandy Kory, Zack Klein, or Matthew Mariam.

That's where we stand three games into Week 12.  Most people at 3-0, a few at 2-1, and then Matthew Mariam. 

If you haven't already, don't forget to send in the rest of your picks.  I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and are enjoying the rest of your long weekend.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Week 12: Schedule

Here is your schedule for Week 12.  Lots of Thursday night goodness* to be had.  Just don't forget to send in your picks and have a great Thanksgiving.

*meaning: badness

Thursday Games:

New England at Detroit
New Orleans at Dallas
Cincinnati at New York Jets

Sunday & Monday Games:

Jacksonville at New York Giants
Minnesota at Washington
Green Bay at Atlanta
Carolina at Cleveland
Pittsburgh at Buffalo
Tennessee at Houston
Kansas City at Seattle
Miami at Oakland
Philadelphia at Chicago
Tampa Bay at Baltimore
St. Louis at Denver
San Diego at Indianapolis
San Francisco at Arizona (plus total points)

Week 11: Results

Its midnight here in Portland (do you know where your cat is?) and I just got back from a night out on the town. Did you know they serve beer in bars here? Its crazy. Possibly needless to say I'm beat. But before I crash, I wanted to get this up on the interwebs for you. Yes, this just one of at least two examples of my selflessness that come to mind. The other involves passing a salt shaker.

That is all by way of saying sorry for the lack of pomp (poop!) and circumstance, but here is how it all went down in Week 11.  You may recall from my wonderfully hilarious update - and seriously, everyone please stop emailing me telling me how funny I am - that if the Monday night game exceeded 41 points (i.e. totaled 42 or more) then Robin and Dave, who both guessed 42 would win. Well, smack my ass and call me "Assey the Ass Smacking Dinosaur*" but in the words of Will Ferrell, that just happened. 

*copyright 2010, Matthew Kory all rights reserved

Denver's loss to San Diego totaled 49 points making Dave and Robin co-wieners.  Co-ngratulations!  See what I did there?  Ha. I kill me.  In keeping with this week's blatant ass theme, you guys both win the two assed mongoose featured in the first season of South Park.  Congratulations.  Dave gets first crack at the ass on the top. Another terrible pun!  I must be stopped!

Here's how Week 11 ended up:

1. Robin Wood ... 13-3
1. Dave Labowitz ... 13-3
1. Alex Mena ... 13-3
1. Sandy Kory ... 13-3
5. Josh Money ... 12-4
5. Bill Denton ... 12-4
5. Jon Stover ... 12-4
5. John Weaver ... 12-4
9. George Smith ... 11-5
9. Zack Klein ... 11-5
9. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
9. Matthew Kory ... 11-5
13. Joey Bansen ... 10-6
13. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
13. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-6

Now comes the part where I show you how bad John Weaver is kicking the crap out of all of us. The moral of the story: if John Weaver tells you to pick the New York "Craptastic" Giants, you pick the New York "Craptastic" Giants. After John, Zack and Sandy are fighting for the sloppy seconds (sounds like Thanksgiving at a porno theatre). Things get increasingly more desperate from there until I get down to the bottom of the list, to my lifelong friend, Gedeon Mariam.  Gedeon wrote the following to me in his weekly picks email:

I can't help but notice I am in last place in total standings. I think you will recall, however, that while I have not accurate predicted the SPECIFIC winner of each game, I have correctly prognosticated that in each game the team with the most points would win. I think, therefore, there should be an asterisk next to my position in the standings. Kind of like by Barry Bonds HR record, but in a good way.

Gedeon's words are true.  He did, in fact, predict that the team with the most points would, in fact, win each game.  In fact.  So, Gedeon, in the spirit of our lifelong friendship, in recognition of your incredible powers of prognostication, and in sympathy because you live in Alabama, I have done as you asked.

Here is the Current Overall Standings (COS):

1. John Weaver ... 104-50
2. Zack Klein ... 100-54
2. Sandy Kory ... 100-54
4. Josh Money ... 98-56
5. Alex Mena ... 97-57
5. Dave Labowitz ... 97-57
7. Jon Stover ... 96-58
8. Joey Bansen ... 95-59
9. George Smith ... 94-60
9. Matthew Mariam ... 94-60
9. Karl Vaillancourt ... 94-60
12. Bill Denton ... 93-61
13. Matthew Kory ... 92-62
13. Robin Wood ... 92-62
15. * ... 88-66

The Week 12 schedule will be posted shortly.  Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone.  Unless you're from Canada, in which case, F You. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Week 11: Update

What a good week.  There weren't a ton of easy games, instead, there were lots of competitive games that could have gone either way.  To the credit of the assembled cast of the Pool(poop!), we did a damn good job. 

As for specifics, four people are 10-5 going into Monday night's game.  Which isn't quite good enough, because four other people are 11-4 going into tonight's game, which is the top record in the league so far this week.  Except it isn't, because four other different people are 12-3, which is actually really the best record in the league.  Ha ha!  Fooled you, Jon Stover!

As a matter of fact, unless your last name rhymes with "aquarium" you have 10 wins so far.  Which is just impressive.  So big old golf clap to everyone in the pool for an outstanding blah blah blah who cares you want to know who has 12 wins and more importantly, is it you. 

First I should say, no, it isn't you.  Unless your name is either Sandy Kory, Dave Labowitz, Robin Wood, or Alex Mena.  Then it is you. Bill Denton and I picked the Giants, for which I have an excuse, but to my knowledge Bill hasn't recently had his head surgically implanted into his rectum. 

But, since there are four people right behind the four listed above, things could get really crazy!  Except no, because everyone in the entire pool(poop!) picked San Diego over Denver this Monday night.  That, my friends, is called consensus.  Its like Reagan's second Presidential election up in this piece.  But, like Reagan's second term, it is possible for everyone everywhere to be 100% wrong. 

So everyone who has 11 wins, so sorry, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!*

*I'm pretty sure Bill Denton's dad says this daily.

For all you with 12 wins so far, here's how the Monday Night Points break down:

Alex Mena: 40 points
Sandy Kory: 41 points
Dave Labowitz: 42 points
Robin Wood: 42 points

Because we play Price Is Right rules here at MFSAFP(p!)!, the winner is the one who gets the closest to the actual number without going over.  This means, in essence, Sandy is totally fucked.  Ha ha!  Good luck winning, Sandy!  Also, have fun with my parents on Thanksgiving!  I'm sure going to miss Grandma loading up on wine and peppermint schnapps until she bazooka barfs on the cat.  Again. 

The breakdown goes thusly:

If the point total is between 0 and 40 Alex wins
If the point total is exactly 41, Sandy wins won't (ever ever ever happen)
If the point total is 42 or more, Dave and Robin will split the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP)

Good luck to everyone!  Except Dave!  I'll be back tomorrow to recap Week 11, congratulate the winner or winners, make fun of Gedeon for finishing last again, and post the schedule for Week 12. 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Week 11: Schedule

Remember, more crappy Thursday Night Football this week, so don't forget to send in Thursday's pick by 8:20pm EST this Thursday, November 18th. 

Here's your schedule for Week 11:

Stupid Game (Thursday Night)

Chicago at Miami

Not Stupid Games (except the Redskins game which will, again, be extremely stupid)

Baltimore at Carolina
Houston at New York Jets
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Oakland at Pittsburgh
Cleveland at Jacksonville
Detroit at Dallas
Arizona at Kansas City
Washington at Tennessee
Green Bay at Minnesota
Seattle at New Orleans
Atlanta at St. Louis
Tampa Bay at San Francisco
Indianapolis at New England
New York "Horatio Sanz is funny mostly because he's fat" Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at San Diego (plus total points)

Week 10: Results

As you shall see, this week was one of the toughest of the year to date. The only competitors are Week 8 and Week 5. Three people finished 9-4 in Week 8, but tons of people won 8 or 7 games that week so that wasn't tougher. A record of 8-6 won Week 5, but just by eyeballing it I think this week was more difficult.

Still, I was curious so I went back and ran some quick numbers. Collectively we went 97-113 in Week 5. That's a winning percentage of .462. This week we went 92-118, a winning percentage of .438. So it appears this week was the most difficult so far. Either that or we just sucked more.

Speaking of sucked, thank God I don't live in Philadelphia anymore. So yeah. Enough of that.

To the pool(poop!)!

You may recall my brother, Sandy Kory, went into the Monday Night game leading by one win over Joey Bansen and George Smith. Both George and Joey had Philadelphia and my brother, throwing caution to the wind, had Washington. After the most ludicrous beatdown in the history of Monday Night Football, all three men were tied with 9 wins.

So, Monday Night Points (MNP) would be needed to determine the winner. Oddly enough Sandy and Joey both chose 30 while George picked 50. As George was the closest to the actual number, which I believe was 467,964, George Smith is this week's winner!! Congratulations George! You win ten beers of your choice! Seriously! Any ten beers! Just show up to my house here in Portland, OR to claim your prize! And if you take a dump on the steps of Lincoln Financial Field you can have 20.

In the meantime, you also win the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP)!

Here are the final standings for Week 10:

1. George Smith ... 9-5
1. Joey Bansen ... 9-5
1. Sandy Kory ... 9-5
4. John Weaver ... 8-6
5. Jon Stover .... 7-7
5. Zack Klein ... 7-7
7. Gedeon Mariam ... 6-8
7. Bill Denton ... 6-8
7. Dave Labowitz ... 6-8
10. Robin Wood ... 5-9
10. Karl Vaillancourt ... 5-9
10. Matthew Kory ... 5-9
13. Alex Mena ... 4-10
14. Matthew Mariam ... 3-11
14. Josh Money ... 3-11

The Current Overall Standings (COS) are soon to be renamed the John Weaver And Zack Klein Are Kicking Our Asses Standings (JWAZKAKOAS). (If you have something more catchy why don't you do your own damn pool(poop!)!?) Forunately, unlike Top Gun, there is a prize for second place. And I think third place too, though maybe not I honestly don't remember. Anyway, here's the JWAZKAKOAS:

1. John Weaver ... 92-52
2. Zack Klein ... 89-55
3. Sandy Kory ... 87-57
4. Josh Money ... 86-58
5. Joey Bansen ... 85-59
6. Alex Mena ... 84-60
6. Matthew Mariam ... 84-60
6. Dave Labowitz ... 84-60
6. Jon Stover ... 84-60
10. George Smith ... 83-61
10. Karl Vaillancourt ... 83-61
12. Bill Denton ... 81-63
12. Matthew Kory ... 81-63
14. Robin Wood ... 79-65
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 78-66

The Week 11 Schedule shall be up shortly. Remember, more stupid Thursday night football this week, so don't forget to send in at least your Thursday night pick by the start of the game on Thursday.

Have a great week.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Week 10: Update

What a horrible, horrible week.  This is one of those weeks were most of us would've been better off just flipping a coin.  So far I'm 5-8 and I honestly don't feel that badly about it.  OK, that's a lie, I fucking hate this pool(poop!).  OK, that's a lie.  I love it. 

So what hath his ridiculous mess of NFL-related garbage wrought upon us all this week?  Well, aside from tons and tons of losses - really, if you have 6 wins so far you should feel like a damn genius - we have what looks to be a three man race (sorry ladies!) for the Weekly Standard Prize. 

That's right, three lucky fellas are still in the running and they are... well, the usual suspects I'm afraid.  In first with 9 wins so far (I've looked at his picks and I honestly don't know how he did it) we have my brother, Sandy Kory. 

Nobody else has 9 so far, but Sandy, always looking to give himself a good old fashioned nut punch on Monday night, picked our Redskins to beat the Eagles.  And wow was that asking for it.  That's an invitation to losing if for no other reason than I picked the Redskins too.  Whoops!

Hot on Sandy's heals are Joey Bansen and George Smith, both with 8 wins and both of whom (rightly) selected the Eagles to win a contest I see as a foregone conclusion.  The only thing left to happen is for Eagles running back LeSean McCoy, on his way to his fourth touchdown, to stop to jam a red hot poker up my...... well, anyway...  Right, the pool(poop!).  

George and Joey both have eight wins and Philadelphia so if Philly wins tonight they'll both have nine tying Sandy. That means Monday Night Points! (MNP!)!  This one comes with a twist too because both Sandy and Joey picked exactly 30 points.  So, if in this Eagles win the total points are between 0 and 49 George will be over so both Sandy and Joey will tie and split the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP).  If the total points are 50 or greater both Sandy and Joey can screw and George walks away with the entire WSP, whether you like it or not and you won't like it. 

In the 'won't-happen' column, if the Redskins win (won't happen), Sandy wins outright. 

Best of luck to all involved.  Oh, and special shout-out to Zack Klein who was the only one in the entire pool to somehow, through the use of black magic I suspect, see the disintegrating corpse that is the Dallas Cowboys beat what has been up until Sunday one of the best teams in football in the NY Giants proving once again if you throw enough shit up against the wall, eventually some of it will stick. 

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Week 10: Schedule

OK, peeps, this is the first week with a Thursday night game.  As we discussed earlier you will now be allowed to send in your Thursday night game pick separately.  So, if you want to, you can email me your Thursday night pick before this Thursday, November 11th at 8:20pm EST.  Just don't forget to email me the rest of your picks before the start of the first game this Sunday, November 14th.

Here's your (slightly more complicated) Week 10 schedule:

Thursday Night:

Baltimore at Atlanta

Rest of the slate:

Detroit at Buffalo
Cincinnati at Indianapolis
New York Jets at Cleveland
Houston at Jacksonville
Minnesota at Chicago
Tennessee at Miami
Carolina at Tampa Bay
Kansas City at Denver
St. Louis at San Francisco
Dallas at New York "Poop-a-poo!" Giants
Seattle at Arizona
New England at Pittsburgh
Philadelphia at Washington (plus total points)

Week 9: Results & Thursday Night Note

Last week Jon Stover called the Monday Night Points (MNP) exactly.  This week we've got an encore performance, though not by Mr. Stover who sucked donkey taint this week.  No, this week's genius was Joey Bansen, who nailed the Monday Night Points total exactly, at 48.  Poor, poor Josh Money...  Not a darn thing he could'a done.  But, whatever, that makes Joey Bansen this week's big wiener! 

Congratulations to Mr. Bansen.  He wins a giant heaping load of goat dung!  For no good reason!  Goat dung!  Smellly!! Exclamation Point!  Hooray! 

No, sadly Joey wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $70 which, if he likes, he can spend entirely on goat dung, which as any good farmer can tell you, will improve fertilizer capacity immensely!

Congrats to Joey. Here be the final standings for Week 9:

1. Joey Bansen ... 11-2
1. Josh Money ... 11-2
3. Jon Stover ... 10-3
3. Matthew Mariam ... 10-3
3. Robin Wood ... 10-3
3. John Weaver ... 10-3
3. Zack Klein ... 10-3
3. Dave Labowitz ... 10-3
9. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-4
9. Matthew Kory ... 9-4
9. Alex Mena ... 9-4
9. George Smith ... 9-4
13. Bill Denton ... 8-5
13. Sandy Kory ... 8-5
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-6

As for the Current Overall Standings (COS), we got some stratification up in this piece.  To wit:

1. John Weaver ... 84-46
2. Josh Money ... 83-47
3. Zack Klein ... 82-48
4. Matthew Mariam ... 81-49
5. Alex Mena ... 80-50
6. Sandy Kory ... 78-52
6. Dave Labowitz ... 78-52
6. Karl Vaillancourt ... 78-52
9. Jon Stover ... 77-53
10. Joey Bansen ... 76-54
10. Matthew Kory ... 76-54
12. Bill Denton ... 75-55
13. Robin Wood ... 74-56
13. George Smith ... 74-56
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 72-58

I'm tied for tenth!  Horseballs! 
  * * *

In more important news, this week marks the first in an annoying series of weeks that include the wonderfully hideous Thursday Night Football games on NFL Network.  Gosh I hope Joe Theismann is doing color commentary again!  Hooray (meaning: poop)!  In that vein, I just checked on the poll results and they are as follows:

7 want the Thursday Night game to be submitted separately
2 don't want that
1 hates me and wishes I'd go away

This means we'll be allowing your picks for the Thursday night games to be submitted separately from your weekly picks.  Also I won't be going away whether you hate me or not. 

Also, this means that you'll have to send in picks twice each week. I won't be sending out emails every other minute to remind you so hopefully you can handle this incredible, immense responsibility akin to giving burning AIDs patients their medication and a healthy douse of ice water. 

I will probably send out one email reminder this week though because its the first week and, well, I love you all, so so much.  Especially Jon Stover, who smells just like honey.  Sweet, sweet honey. 

Congratulations again to Joey Bansen, and my apologies for not going away.  But hey, you had your chance. 

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Week 9: Update

As I write this Green Bay is pouring a giant cauldron of bubbling poo down the collective throat of the Dallas Cowboys.  Due to surgery its not physically possible for Jerry Jones to frown, but you can tell he's unhappy because his smile isn't as large as usual.  Also there are fewer cockroaches crawling out of his eyes.  This is wonderful. 

There will be blood tonight in Dallas.  Wade Phillips chicken-like coaching is likely to be on the block, but even if Jones chops Phillips' head off, his body will keep coaching for a few more weeks, and probably as effectively.

As for the pool(poop!), its come down to just two of us. Just the two of us... Joey and Josh! That's right, Joey Bansen and Josh Money, two of the oldest of old friends, battling it out for the Weekly Standard Prize. Both Joey and Josh have 10 wins so far and since everybody and everybody's mom picked the Steelers to beat Cincy on Monday night (and rightly so), nobody can catch either of them.

As for the Monday night game, the result doesn't matter a tick. The points are all that counts. Josh picked 36 total points while Joey went with 48. Since we play Price Is Right rules here at MFSAFP(p!)!, the one who wins is the closest to the actual points without going over. As the high man on the totem pole, Joey will be over if the point total is 47 or less, and thus Josh would win. If the points total 48 or more, Joey would be the big wiener.

That's it from beautiful rainy Portland. Back tomorrow with the final results from Week 9 and your Week 10 schedule.

Ta ta!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Please Answer This Quick Question

** UPDATE  **

9:26am PST - The stupid poll I put in won't let anyone vote.  Good stuff.  I'll put in a new one.  Sorry about that...


As a means of warning, next week, Week 10, will be the first week of the season to include Thursday night games.  The Thursday night games will continue through Week 16.  The problem with Thursday night games is I require all picks to be submitted before the first game of the week.  This is mainly for my convenience though I think its more likely people forget to send in their picks if its happens in multiple installments.

However, it sucks that you have to send in all of your picks before the Thursday night game which is three and four days before the games are actually scheduled.  I know there are people who like to wait until the last minute to pick (to be clear, I fully endorse this strategy and if I wasn't running the pool(poop!) I'd be doing that too).

So, I'm willing to do what ever extra legwork there is so we can all submit the Thursday night pick separately.  For your part, you have to be willing to accept the extra responsibility of essentially sending in picks twice each week (although you could still submit all your picks before the Thursday night game if you want). 

So here's the question.  What should we do?

1) Keep things as they are (all picks for each week must be submitted before Thursday night's game).

2) Change it so the Thursday night pick and the rest of the week's picks can be submitted separately if you want.

Please vote in the below poll and feel free to submit questions in the comments section.  

Should we allow Thursday Night picks to be submitted separately?
No, keep things as they are
Leave me alone, I hate you.
pollcode.com free polls

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Week 9: Schedule

Week 9 begins this coming Sunday, November 7th at 1pm EST.

New York Jets at Detroit
Miami at Baltimore
New England at Cleveland
San Diego at Houston
Chicago at Buffalo
Arizona at Minnesota
Tampa Bay at Atlanta
New Orleans at Carolina
New York "Gross Over-Estimation" Giants at Seattle
Indianapolis at Philadelphia
Kansas City at Oakland
Dallas at Green Bay
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati (plus total points)

Week 8: Results, In Which I Use Too Many Swear Words

47 points.

That was Jon Stover's predicted total score for the Monday night game.  47.  Many asked him to come back to the pack, but he wouldn't.  His girlfriend threatened and then left him.  He was ridiculed for it. His best friend called him nuts.  I called him crazy, told him it would never happen.  I wasn't alone. The New York Times called him a charlatan and the New York Post called for his ouster in a rather nasty editorial entitled "Kill That Horsef*cker!" (really, why was that necessary?).  Even his own mom called him a "very gay homosexual".  But Jon stuck to his guns.  And dadgummit if he wasn't right in the end.  

In the end Jon Stover crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. Jon Stover... headed for the Pacifi... wait what? That line has been used? Shit!

To the Pool(poop!)!

This week, with Indianapolis' win, we had three peeps finish at 9-4. As you may have guessed from the above garbage, Jon Stover called the Monday Night Points exactly, so there wasn't much else anyone could do to stop him this week. As such, Jon Stover is this week's big wiener! For winning (wiening?) this week, Jon wins a free* trip out to Portland, OR to visit me! All he has to do is pay for plane tickets, food, and lodging! What a deal!

Here are the final standings for Week 8:

1. Jon Stover ... 9-4
1. Joey Bansen ... 9-4
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-4
4. Sandy Kory ... 8-5
4. Matthew Mariam ... 8-5
4. John Weaver ... 8-5
4. Matthew Kory ... 8-5
4. Dave Labowitz ... 8-5
9. Robin Wood ... 7-6
9. Alex Mena ... 7-6
9. Josh Money ... 7-6
9. Zack Klein ... 7-6
9. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-6
9. Alex Mena ... 7-6
14. George Smith ... 5-8
14. Bill Denton ... 5-8

Last week's overall leader, John Weaver, has widened his lead over the rest of us lackeys. He's pulling away, dammit! Someone catch him! John is two games up on Zack and Josh who, just like last week, are tied for second. Alex has company in fourth now with Matthew Mariam, and after that we're all likely f'd. Happy Halloween f'ers!!

1. John Weaver ... 74-43
2. Zack Klein ... 72-45
2. Josh Money ... 72-45
4. Alex Mena ... 71-46
4. Matthew Mariam ... 71-46
6. Sandy Kory ... 70-47
7. Karl Vaillancourt ... 69-48
8. Dave Labowitz ... 68-49
9. Matthew Kory ... 67-50
9. Bill Denton ... 67-50
9. Jon Stover ... 67-50
12. Joey Bansen ... 65-52
12. George Smith ... 65-52
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 65-52
15. Robin Wood ... 64-53

I'll put up the schedule for Week 9 momentarily. Have a great week, everyone!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Week 8: Update

I just wrote this long update but blogger ate it.  I'm really pissed. 

It was hilarious.  Lots of topical humor, but humor that made you think, you know?  Think hard about your place in this world and the best way to live your life.  I was prouder of that update than I have been of anything else I've ever done. Ever. 

But fucking blogger ate it.  So after screaming every nasty word I know as loudly as I possibly can, my lungs are sore.  Which means to show my continued rage I was forced to throw pumpkins into the street.  It was a nice tension reliever.  Seeing those pumpkins explode into thousands of tiny bits was cathartic.  So were the shards of glass from the windshield of that cab.  I'm feeling much better.  At least thats what I told the police officer before he tazed me, which, by the way, was completely unnecessary.  I was putting my pants back on. 

Anyway, to the pool(poop!)!

Week 8 is a four person race.  Three of those peeps have 8 wins.  Those three are Jon Stover, Joey Bansen, and Karl Vaillancourt.  All three also picked Indianapolis to win on Monday night.  That leaves a hole, and where there's a hole there's Alex Mena!  Wait, that came out badly... well, anyway, Alex has seven wins, but he is the lone person in the pool to pick Houston.  So, should Houston win, Alex would be in the running as well. 

Here's how it breaks down.

If Indianapolis wins...

... and the total number of points is between 0 and 46, Joey Bansen wins.
... and the total number of points is between and 47 and 51, Jon Stover wins.
... and the total number of points is between and 52 and infinity, Karl Vaillancourt wins.

If Houston wins...

... and the total number of points is between 0 and 46, Joey Bansen wins.
... and the total number of points is between 47 and 51, Jon Stover wins.
... and the total number of points is between 52 and 59, Karl Vaillancourt wins.
... and the total number of points is between 60 and infinity, Alex Mena wins.

Good luck to all involved.  I'll be back with the final tallies and the Week 9 schedule tomorrow night.