Sunday, September 30, 2007


Yet another week is in the books (mostly). However, unlike last weeks, we don't need the next two games (I wrote this before NY beat Philly) to help determine this week's winner. Nope, and unfortunately, just like the previous three weeks, the winner wasn't yours truly.

Also, much like two of the previous three weeks, the winner is Dave Labowitz.

Yes, Dave wins. Again.

Yeah, I'm getting pretty sick of it too, but what can you do? He is smoking us all most righteously.

Dave, don't read the following:
(I've got an idea! Lets all make a pact, people-who-aren't-Dave: lets do everything we can to prevent Dave from winning next week! We'll all meet at the Old Schoolhouse just after midnight to discuss ideas. Bring cookies and milk, and whatever you do, don't tell Dave!)

OK, Dave, you can read now. I'll post the full results and year-to-date standings after tomorrow's Monday Night game. In the meantime, congrats to Dave (again) and see the rest of you at the secret place *wink*!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


All games start on Sunday September 30th, at 1pm EST (thats 10am for you folks on the left coast; might want to send in yr picks before Saturday ends if you live out there). As always, I'll need your winners in my in-box by kickoff of the first game.

Houston at Atlanta
New York Jets at Buffalo
Baltimore at Cleveland
St. Louis at Dallas
Chicago at Detroit
Oakland at Miami
Green Bay at Minnesota
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Seattle at San Francisco
Pittsburgh at Arizona
Denver at Indianapolis
Kansas City at San Diego
Philadelphia at New York "Fun with Fungus!" Giants
New England at Cincinnati (plus total points)

Good luck!

Monday, September 24, 2007


That’s all for Week 3, and this week we didn’t even have to use Monday Night Points to determine the winner. Nope. In fact, after Sunday’s delicious carnage (well, some of it was delicious, some of it made me PHYSICALLY ILL), we had just two fighters standing.

In the pink corner, weighing in at 881 pounds… no, wait, I’m reading that upside down, 188 pounds, eating only grilled chicken wrapped in hundred dollar bills, the twelve wins of Dave “Don’t Call Me Grafton” Labowitz!!. In the brown corner, weighing in at 150 2 lbs. burritos and a bucket of chips (with hot salsa, beyotch!), the twelve wins of William “Call Him Grafton, Please, I’m Literally Begging You” Denton, (Part GEIGH!!)!!

Team Denton threw their support behind the Saints, while in a smart move, Team Labowitz threw their support behind the Titans...oooohh! Who would win....?!?!?!

Yeah, Dave won. Blah blah blah…

A hearty Campbell’s Chunky Soup Congratulations to Dave, whom you may remember, assuming you can handle more than four pieces of information in your brain at a time, won Week 1 as well. That means that this is the second week Dave has won here at MSAFP(p!)!.

This week, Dave wins a dog-eared copy of “Winning Friends and Executing Retarded People: My Time at the Governor’s Mansion,” by George W. Bush. I highly recommend chapter 2 (there are only two chapters) entitled, “Executing Retarded People.” That’s some insightful stuff. I'm not ashamed to say that I cried.

No, in fact, Dave doesn’t win that book because, sadly, I made it up. But, Dave does win the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $56, payable in 56 bi-weekly installments (please allow 8-10 weeks for delivery). Normally I'd pay out in Canadian dollars, but those are worth more than amuuuuurican money. Thanks, Allan Greenspan, you dope.

Here are the standings as I see them for Week 3 (if you think I screwed something up, email me):

1. Dave Labowitz……..13-3
2. Bill Denton…………12-4
3. Joshu Shih…............10-6
Tyler Christofferson..10-6
Molly Mulder……….10-6
Scott Rozsa…………10-6
Zack Klein………….10-6
Jon Stover…………..10-6
Joey Bansen…………10-6
Matthew Kory……..10-6
Sandy Kory………..10-6
12. George Smith…..9-7
13. Josh Money…….8-8
Matthew “16-0” Mariam..8-8

And here are the up-to-the-minute yearly standings:

1. Dave Labowitz….35-13
2. Scott Rozsa………32-16
Zack Klein…………32-16
Matthew Kory………32-16
Sandy Kory………..32-16
6. Bill Denton……..31-17
Jon Stover………..31-17
8. Molly Mulder…..30-18
Matthew Mariam….30-18
Joey Bansen………30-18
George Smith……..30-18
Joshu Shih……….30-18
13. Tyler Christofferson…29-19
14. Josh Money…..27-21

Lots of time left, folks. Its only three weeks into the season, so just because Dave is smoking you doesn’t mean he won’t bite it in Week 11 and stupidly pick Minnesota to win on the road (Don’t do it, Dave!!).

I’ll have the schedule for Week 4 up shortly. In the meantime, just remember: I kid because I love.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

WEEK 3!!

Heres the schedule for Week 3. First game starts on Sunday at 1pm EST. I'll need your picks before then. Try not to hurt yourselves, alright?

San Francisco at Pittsburgh
Arizona at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Houston
Detroit at Philadelphia
Buffalo at New England
San Diego at Green Bay
Miami at New York Jets
Minnesota at Kansas City
St. Louis at Tampa Bay
Cleveland at Oakland
Jacksonville at Denver
Cincinnati at Seattle
New York "Snausages" Giants at Washington
Carolina at Atlanta
Dallas at Chicago
Tennessee at New Orleans (plus total points)


The Redskins just defeated the Eagles (WHOOHOO!!) in a result that few of us saw coming. That marks the end for Week 2, folks. The final score of said game was Washington 20, Philadelphia 12, which means that this week's winner is...

Not me!

Less importantly, the winner is...

Molly Mulder!

...who nailed the number of points exactly! There should be some sort of bonus for that. Fortunately, there isn't. Congratulations, Molly. This week's prize is an official Andy Reid autographed Big Mac wrapper!

No, sadly you win the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $56, which will be shipped, postage paid and signed by me, to your preferred place of residence. Now, I know you'll want to frame the check and look at it longingly as you pass down the hallway towards the bathroom (poop!), but really, you should just cash it. In all likelihood you'll be winning again next week.

The final standings for week 2 were as follows:

1. Molly 11-5
1. Bill
1. Matt K.
4. Sandy 10-6
4. Scott
4. Joshu
7. George 9-7
7. Jon
7. Zack
7. Matthew M.
7. Dave
12. Josh 8-8
13. Joey 7-9
13. Tyler

The Overall Standings through Week 2 look like this:

1. Sandy, 22-10
1. Matthew M.
1. Dave
1. Zack
1. Scott
1. Matt K.
7. George, 21-11
7. Jon
9. Joshu, 20-12
9. Joey
9. Molly
12. Bill, 19-13
12. Josh
12. Tyler

Thats right. A six-way tie for first place and only a mere three games separating first place from last. This is some good competition, peeps.

Two housekeeping notes, if I may:

1) I have decided to alter the winnings slightly. Previously I was going to have 20% of the pool go to the 1st place winner, while the 2nd place winner would receive 12%. After looking at the numbers, I'd rather give that extra 2% to the first place winner instead. If anyone objects to me changing it now I will leave it as is. Shoot me an email if you think I shouldn't change it.

2) Thanks to all of you who sent me just the winners in your pick emails. Its easier for me if you keep doing that so I don't have to transcribe each person's picks, and frankly, its easier on you because I'm less likely to screw up the transcription. So, thanks, and keep doing it.

I'll be posting the schedule for Week 3 tomorrow. Good luck!

Monday, September 17, 2007


With only the Monday Night game here in Philadelphia still to go, we have a three way race for the this week's prize. Molly, Bill, and yours truly all have 11 wins on the week. Because everyone in question chose Philadelphia to win (go Skins!!), and nobody with 10 wins picked Washington, the winner of the game is irrelevant to deciding this week's winner.

As so often happens, it will come down to points. I picked 24 points, Molly picked 32 points, and Bill picked 40. The winner is the closest without going over, but if everyone goes over then its just the closest. Heres the breakdown. If the point total is between...
  1. 0 and 31, I shall be the winner
  2. 32-39, Molly will be the winner
  3. 40 or above, Bill will be the winner
Stay tuned to find out who will claim the $56 this week! This week's post will also include the yearly standings as well, so check back tomorrow to see how close you are to first place and the $308 prize!


Also of note, I strive for perfection, but rarely achieve it. Please feel free to email me at and let me know if you feel that I have made a mistake with your picks.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Week 2: The Search for More Money!

Much like an airline attendant who arrived at the same time you did, welcome to Week 2! We here at Around The NFL With Matty Headquarters (ATNFLWMHQ) strive to give you, the reader, the strongest, the best, the most incisive football coverage available. We usually end up settling for poop jokes instead (“What did the priest say to the rabbi? POOOP!”), but this week, dear reader, this week shall be different.

[four days later...]

This week, due to laziness on the part of the entire crew here at ATNFLWM (read: me) we're going to hold off on the actual football analysis and go straight to the poop jokes! Yay!

But first, a word from our sponsors. ATNFLWM is sponsored by…

1-900-DickJokes. Dick jokes anytime of the day or night.

And by…

The Delaware Board of Tourism, who reminds you, that Delaware is not as bad as you stink.

And now to the picks!

But first, in deference to The Man, ATNFLWM would like to remind you that these picks are not for use in some states (sorry Oklahoma!) and may cause itching and/or anal leakage.

KC at Chicago
-After last week's performance, “Sexy Rexy” downgraded to “Mildy Repulsive Rexy”
-Chiefs already secretly interviewing potential head coaching candidates. According to a source, their list contains Rick Venturi, Carrot Top, and Great Googily Moogily guy from Snickers commercial.
-Pizzeria Uno now offering “Rex Grossman Sandwich” which is a roast beef with extra special sauce that the waiter drops on the way over to your table.
Pick: Chicago

Cincinnati at Cleveland
-In order to take focus off how terrible his team is, Cleveland coach Romeo Crennel has decided to begin executing dogs for fun.
-Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis’ ankle surgery will keep him on the sideline for 6-8 weeks, whereupon he will return to the sideline.
Pick: Cincinnati

Houston at Carolina
-Texans lead league in all important Hat Size Index
-“Dom Capers Bowl” winner gets to not hire Dom Capers
Pick: Houston

Indianapolis at Tennessee
-If you rearrange the letters in “Titans” you get “Ans Tits”
-Colts center Jeff Saturday named by teammates as “most likely to enjoy pegging”
Pick: Indianapolis

Atlanta at Jacksonville
-On Halloween, who will be the first to dress their dog up like Michael Vick? My guess? Michael Vick!
-Thanks to Joey Harrington, Falcons merchandising machine as effective as Falcons offense
Pick: Jacksonville

Buffalo at Pittsburgh
-Dude, if JP Losman could surf in Buffalo, he totally would.
-Steeler’s victory over Cleveland in week 1 proves that teams can succeed despite spittle.
Pick: Pittsburgh

Baltimore at NY Jets
-Amount of effort involved in a typical Chad Pennington pass is equivalent to that required for one revolution of my hamster Cheez Doodle’s hamster wheel.
-Eric Mangini: NFL Cheetos Champion
-Last weeks videotaping incident nothing compared to what happens each night in Brian Billick’s bedroom.
Pick: Baltimore

Detroit at Minnesota
-With Fred Smoot gone, Vikings have downgraded team-building plans. This year: Sex Bus.
Pick: Detroit

Denver at Oakland
-ATNFLWM has breaking news: Raiders finally sign 1965 2nd rounder Fred Biletnikoff!
-To prove that anyone can successfully run behind their offensive line, Mike Shannahan has signed Pepsi machine.
Pick: Denver

Dallas at Miami
-Wade Phillips everything that Bill Parcells isn't. Except fat.
-Drew Bledsoe still holding out for Cowboys starting quarterback job.
Pick: Miami

Arizona at Seattle
-In off season, Mike Holmgren rents out mustachioed upper lip to family of badgers.
-Cardinals redefine 'success' as 'losing'
Pick: Seattle

NY "Tastee" Giants at Green Bay
-If all quarterbacks would run up to him and then fall over, Michael Strahan would be the all time single season record holder in sacks. Wait a minute...
-Eli Manning has a boo-boo! Bwaaaah! Bwaaaah!
Pick: Green Bay

New Orleans at Tampa
-Its time for ATNFLWM's favorite segment, Did You Know?
Did You Know that New Orleans head coach Sean Payton was a scab quarterback for the Chicago Bears? Its true!
Did You Know that New Orleans head coach Sean Payton has more than 47 different types of VD? Its true!
Pick: New Orleans

San Diego at New England
-Patriots weren't filming defensive signals, but instead, Jets' cheerleaders.
-San Diego head coach Norv Turner is living embodiment of the Peter Principal (which, by the way, has nothing to do with his peter).
Pick: New England

San Francisco at St. Louis
-This is my Bye game. Please move along. No jokes here.
Pick: San Francisco

Washington at Philadelphia
-In effort to prevent his kids from doing drugs, Andy Reid broke into their rooms and ate everything.
-If Eagles lose this game, entire city will line up and jump off Ben Franklin Bridge. Why will they line up? Because this is a civilized city, bitches.
-Over/under on Cheesesteak sightings during ESPN MNF broadcast set at 7. Take the over.
Pick: Philadelphia

Next Week: I join a knitting group and repair my socks. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Here is the schedule for week 2. Send me your pick in the same order as listed here. The first game doesn't start until Sunday at 1pm EST, so make sure I have your picks before then. Thanks!

Houston at Carolina
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Atlanta at Jacksonville
Green Bay at NY Giants
Buffalo at Pittsburgh
San Francisco at St. Louis
New Orleans at Tampa Bay
Indianapolis at Tennessee
Seattle at Arizona
Minnesota at Detroit
Dallas at Miami
NY Jets at Baltimore
Kansas City at Chicago
Oakland at Denver
San Diego at New England
Washington at Philadelphia (plus total points)

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


[Apologies for the late post. I had a job interview today in another city that took all day.]

That’s it for Week 1, folks. There was lots of exciting football action to ponder, but here at MSAFP(p!)! we’re not as concerned with football action as we are with football results. Big, sweaty, football results.

Normally I post both the weekly results as well as the cumulative year-to-date results. However, since this is Week 1, both are the same (except for Sandy who despite posting a 12-4 record this week is somehow 0-16 on the year. Crazy math! What will it think of next?)

This week we had a four-way tie for first place, so it came down to Monday Night Points. Remember, its the total number of points without going over. Of the four with 13 wins, two came in over, and two came in under. Of the two that were under, Joey Bansen had 30 points, and Dave Labowitz had 36. San Francisco beat Arizona 20-17, so 37 points were scored.

So, despite swearing off MSAFP(p!)! last year, Dave Labowitz is our winner! Congrats to Dave! Dave wins a pint of Ben & Jerry’s new ice cream flavor, Mint Chocolate Chipped Beef and a year’s subscription to Cat Fancy, the official cat magazine of the NFL!

Actually, no. Dave wins the MSAFP(p!)! Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). This year the WSP is the princely sum of $56, or about the cost of a year’s subscription to Cat Fancy! Congrats again to Dave!

Here are the results for Week 1 [edited]:

Rank Name Wins Loses
1. Dave Labowitz 13 - 3
2. Joey Bansen 13 - 3
3. Matthew Mariam 13 - 3
4. Zack Klein 13 - 3
5. Sandy Kory 12 - 4
6. Scott Rozsa 12 - 4
7. George Smith 12 - 4
8. Jon Stover 12 - 4
9. Tyler C. 12 - 4
10. Josh Money 11 - 5
11. Matthew Kory 11 - 5
12. Joshu Shih 10 - 6
13. Molly Mulder 9 - 7
14. Bill Denton 8 - 8

I’ll post the schedule for Week 2 tomorrow (Wednesday) so check back then.

One more note: If everyone could do me a favor and simply send me their winners for Week 2 it would be much easier for me. For example, don’t write out “Team X vs. Team Y, Team X Winner”, simply write “Team X.” Thanks.

Friday, September 07, 2007


It’s a bird! No, its an airplane!

No, no. It’s just a bird.

NO again! It’s The Week One Edition of Around The NFL With Matty (TWOEOATNFLWM!!!)!!!

A hip ‘n happening how’dee do to ya, folks. Lots has happened since we called it quits on last season. For instance, I got married! Then I got divorced! Then I got married again! Then divorced again! And now, I’m married again, but engaged to be divorced.

But none of that goboldy gook has one pure Michael Irvin ounce to do with football.

And the following won’t either! I recognize that some of you are new to this phenomenon called ATNFLWM. For the benefit of those newbies as well as any of you who have been reading this since its inception ten years ago (Bill), I’d like to present “What The Hell Is This Crap You Call Around The NFL With Matty (WTHITCYCATNFLWM?!)”?!

So, what is this crap?
ATNFLWM is a weekly column written by yours truly, that attempts to get inside, deep inside, the NFL. You’ll get individual game analysis, informed predictions, interviews with NFL luminaries, and of course, poop jokes. Well, mostly poop jokes, actually.

Why is it published here on a blog that only ten people read?
Because nobody else would publish it. ATNFLWM has offended everyone at one point or another, including its author, who swore he’d have nothing more to do with it years ago. How’d that work out?

Who cares?
Nobody, really.

I don’t remember hearing about this before.
If I’d mentioned it before, would you have joined the pool? Right, I didn’t think so.

Is there any actual football-related content?
Not really, no. Did I mention that there are poop jokes?

So, I have to slog through this crap each week?
Yup. If you want to be in-the-know about all things NFL, by which I mean ‘poop jokes.’

Such is life. Sorry.

So, it’s a new season here at ATNFLWM. If memory serves, this is the 70th year I’ve been writing this column. Yes, I’m older than Dr. Z, and just as crotchety, but I don’t smell like sour milk.

Last season, ATNFLWM was blessed to have a companion column, the Sunday Crap-o-Rama, written by one Capt’n William H. O. M. O. Denton, III. Esquire. Mr. Denton is currently drunk, but hopefully he’ll sober up enough to grace us all with his immense… uh… umm… talent. Consider this column a proverbial shot across Mr. Denton’s bow.

Bring it bitch.

Now its time to thank our sponsors. Why? Because nobody would write crap like this for free. ATNFLWM is brought to you by:

The new FOX reality show: America has herpes!

And by…

Exclamation Points!! Use one today!

As always, in deference to The Man, these picks are not to be used as a contraceptive device.

To the picks!!

New Orleans @ Indianapolis
-When Saints come to the line they’re as likely to hear commercials for Mastercard as they are the snap count.
-If one measures yardage from sideline to sideline Reggie Bush was NFL’s leading rusher last year.
Pick: Colts

KC @ Houston
-As only star on the team, Houston wide receiver Andre Johnson gets first choice of post-game crack rock.
-Actual Vegas Line: 2:1 odds that Herm Edwards says or does something to out-crazy Dennis Green’s famed “Crown their ass!” speech.
-These teams are headed in opposite directions. KC is going backwards while Houston is going left.
Pick: Houston

Miami @ Washington
-Pre-game ceremony will feature a Superbowl 14 Old Timers game wherein the cracking of helmets will be exceeded only by the cracking of hips.
-Many pundits are expecting big things from Redskins this season. Personally, I expect something big too: a huge turd.
-Redskins runningback Clinton Portis pregame speech to team to feature references to “celery”, “scrambled eggs” and “donkey doots.”
-My application to have my apartment officially christened “Raljon Maryland, Pennsylvania” is pending.
-In vote by fellow coaches, Joe Gibbs voted “Most Likely To Die”
Pick: Redskins

Denver @ Buffalo
-Reprinted from last season because I think its f’n funny:
That is all
Pick: Denver

Carolina @ St. Louis
-Jake Delhomme makes Jay Schroeder look like Fran Tarkinton. In a related story, my comedy makes Carrot Top look like George F’n Carlin.
Pick: St. Louis

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland
-Steeler’s pre-season woes can be traced to a lack of spittle.
-Romeo Crennel has attempted to replicate famed Notre Dame “Play like a champion” sign in Browns locker room. But due to a lawsuit, the wording has to be changed. Crennel is trying to decide between “Play like a winner” and “Check again: are you wearing pants?”
Pick: Steelers

Atlanta @ Minnesota
-ATNFLWM is proud to present the first official Michael Vick Dogfighting Joke of the 07-08 NFL Season (FOMVDFJOT07-08NFLS):
Federal investigation into potential dog fighting charges began after the Falcons beat the Cleveland Browns two seasons ago. Federal authorities were alerted when, on his way to the locker room, Vick reported shouted at the famed ‘Dawg Pound’, “I’ll electrocute all y’all bitches!”
Sank yoo very much. I vill bee heer all zee veek.
-Cognizant of potential fan backlash, Falcons are planning to offer give away to entice fans to come to first home game. As such, first 10,000 fans in attendance will receive the Arthur Blank Drives a Bus Over Michael Vick bobblehead doll!
-Who would have thought that Michael Vick would end up with more prison time than brother Marcus?
Pick: Atlanta

Tennessee @ Jacksonville
-Jaguars must be careful running too close to Tennessee sideline or risk being tripped up by Jeff Fischer’s mustache.
-Vince Young preparing Hall of Fame speech in which he will thank hizself and only hizself, yo. ATNFLWM has obtained a partial copy, printed below for your edification:
Young: “I’d like to thank me. I did it. I don’t need all y’all bitches. *&%&* You! Thank you very much.”
Pick: Jacksonville

New England @ New York Jets
-Bill Belechick to add ‘crocs’ to wardrobe. Wardrobe now includes stained sweatshirts and crocs. An earlier report wherein wardrobe contained pants has been debunked.
-After season Eric Mangini will face off against Andy Reid in the First Annual NFL Coaches Pie Eat.
-Randy Moss expected to be good citizen now that he’s wearing a Patriots uniform. Listen people, you can dress my cat up as a whore, but she’s still a cat.
Pick: Patriots

Philadelphia @ Green Bay
-How good are the Packers going to be this season? Let me answer that like this: The other day I walked out of my apartment and was hit in the ass by a pass from Brett Favre.
-Only solution to Andy Reid’s family problems: eat his family.

Detroit @ Oakland
-Mike Martz makes Buddy Ryan look like Bill Walsh.
-ATNFLWM has learned that Martz has a closet full of mannequins which he lovingly caresses before going to bed each night?
-Raiders chances of a winning season about the same as them signing their number one pick: zilch, bitches!
Pick: Oakland

Chicago @ San Diego
-The difference between Marty Schottenheimer and Norv Turner: Schottenheimer waits until the post-season to choke.
Pick: San Diego

Tampa Bay @ Seattle
-Bucs collecting quarterbacks in case any are injured by flying cannonballs.
-Try as I might, I can’t come up with anything hilarious to say about Seattle. Wait! No, never mind.
Pick: Seattle

New York Giants @ Dallas
-Cowboys fans as full of hope as Cowboys fans pants are full of poop.
-With Bill Parcells gone, who will supply team with sweet sweet breast milk?
-Tom Coughlin expecting 8:05 game to start at 7:55.
Pick: Dallas

Baltimore @ Cincinnati
-The Cincy offense versus the Baltimore defense is called a “great match up time.” The Baltimore offense versus the Cincy defense is called “Checking to see how much lint is in your ass crack time.”
Pick: Cincy

Arizona @ San Francisco
-Cardinals best hope for victorious season: NFL goes out of business.
-49ers named NFL’s surprise team of the year by Alex Smith’s parents.
Pick: San Francisco

Next Week: I pair a ’67 merlot with a can of Spray Cheez! Stay tuned!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


Heres the slate for week one. Don't forget to email me the points for the SECOND Monday Night game (SF/ARZ) as well.

New Orleans @ Indianapolis
KC @ Houston
Miami @ Washington
Denver @ Buffalo
Carolina @ St. Louis
Pittsburgh @ Cleveland
Atlanta @ Minnesota
Tennessee @ Jacksonville
New England @ New York Jets
Philadelphia @ Green Bay
Detroit @ Oakland
Chicago @ San Diego
Tampa Bay @ Seattle
New York Giants @ Dallas
Baltimore @ Cincinnati
Arizona @ San Francisco (plus total points)


Since there are two Monday night games this week, I'll only need points for the second one, which is the 10:15pm EST game between Arizona and San Francisco. Total number of points
scored in the game, please. If there is a tie the winner will be the person who gets closest to the actual total without going over.

Monday, September 03, 2007


Hey Gang,

Matty here. Apologies for any blandness in the following post, but I want to be as clear as I can with you about what I'll need from you each week and what you should expect from me. I'm going to post this sort of FAQ, but if you have any questions, please feel free to email me when ever and I'll be happy to answer.

Matty, why are you doing this?
I used to be in a pool like this at work. I left that job but I enjoyed the pool so much that I decided to start my own.

What do you get for doing this?
Nothing. Not a red cent. I don't take a penny off the top. I even pay for postage. I'm one heck of a guy, lemme tell you.

Why a blog?

I find that its easier for me to just post stuff here than to send emails all the time. Also, I imagine its easier for you to just call up the page when you want to without being bombarded with emails from me multiple times each week. As such, this blog is the main vehicle I use for communicating with people in the pool. With that in mind, you might want to bookmark the site for easy reference.

Matty, what do you post here?
I post everything here. Standings, next week's schedule, updates on that week's games, weekly humorous weekly write-ups... pretty much everything.

How do I know when there is a new post up?

I will try to send you an email each week telling you to when I've posted winners/results for the past week and the schedule for the upcoming week, but don't depend on email. Whether you get an email or not, I will post stuff here. Thats my responsibility. You come here to check it out, thats yours.

When do you typically post updates, etc.?
I try to post the results at the end of each NFL week (i.e Monday night or Tuesday morning) and the beginning of each week I post that week's NFL schedule. The schedule is usually up either the same day or at least by Wednesday.

How do I pick the games?
You email me your picks by the start of the first NFL game that week. I'll need two things from you each week:

1) Your picks clearly spelling out which teams you are picking AND...

2) I'll need the total number of points you think will be scored in the Monday night game. The goal is to get the closest to the total number of points scored without going over the actual amount.

If you do not include the total number of points you could lose the tie breaker even if your opponent goes over (see below for what I'm talking about).

Its easiest for me (and probably for you as well) if you just cut and paste the picks I post here into an email, and underline and bold your predicted winner. I'll assume that the team you've highlighted, etc. is the team you think will win and will credit you as such.

How do you, Matty, pick the games?/How do I know you aren't a lying thief?
Each week before the start of the games I post my picks in the comments section of the post containing that week's schedule. There is a time stamp on the post so you know I picked the games before they started. To access my picks, just click on "comments" on the post containing that week's schedule.

What if there is a tie at the end of a week?
If there is a tie in total number of games won at the end of the week, the money goes to the person who came closest to the total number of points scored in the Monday night game without going over. Thats without going over.

For example, if the final score is Washington 14, Dallas 10, and I picked 25 points and you picked 15, you win the money because I went over. Got it?

If two (or more) people are still tied after the tie-breaker then they will split the prize evenly.

If two people are tied and one did not include their predicted number of points scored on Monday night the other person will automatically win the prize money even if they went over the actual amount with their prediction.

What happens if I am late with my picks?
If you are late with your picks you are not eligible to win that week's prize money. So don't forget! If I notice that you haven't sent in your picks, I might send you an email, but I'm not going to chase people all over the place with emails and phone calls or what ever.

If you do forget it does not mean that you can't win the over-all prize. Because this is about fun, unlike some pools I do give you credit for picking teams even if you don't turn your picks in on time. This season I will give you credit for picking all the home teams. Home teams win roughly 60% of the time on average, so that seems more than fair to me. (Last year I gave people credit for the favorite, but the variability of lines and my difficulty in finding them after the games have started caused me to change the policy this season.)

Just remember, because real money is at stake here, I do try to take this seriously, and as such I ask everyone to please comply with the rules. Its just fair that way.

How much money will I win if I win a week?
The money is distributed based on a percentage system, so I won't know how much money each week is worth until I know exactly how many people are in the pool. I can tell you how much of the total pot each week is worth however. Here is the breakdown:

Each weekly winner wins 4% of the total prize pool.
At the end of the season, I total up the wins and the person with the most wins gets 20% of the total prize money. The person who finishes in second place gets 12% of the total prize money.

I'll publish the actual numbers after the start of week 1.

How do I get my money?
I'll mail it to you. Don't forget to email me a current address if you haven't done so already.

If you have any other questions, or there is something that I haven't addressed here that you are curious about, please shoot me an email or you can post something in the comments section.


Welcome back to another year of football pool-y fun! More to come on this here site!