Time for another yummy dose of schedule. Open wide.
Detroit at Dallas
Pittsburgh at Houston
San Francisco at Philadelphia
Minnesota at Kansas City
Washington at St.Louis
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Tennessee at Cleveland
New Orleans at Jacksonville
Carolina at Chicago
Atlanta at Seattle
New York Giants at Arizona
Denver at Green Bay
New England at Oakland
Miami at San Diego
New York Jets at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay (plus total points)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Week 3: Results
Week 3 is in the books and what a books (?) it is!
Nothing like starting off the weekly results post by not making any damn sense. But when considering the week that was in the NFL, or as Chris Carter would say, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, maybe it's fitting. The Bills? The Lions? The Eagles? Jeez... who saw that shit coming, right? Well, to be fair and in order, three people, everyone, and Ryan Schultz. Ryan was the only one to pick the New York Coitus Giants. Unfortunately he wasn't so lucky with his other picks, as we shall see.
But, to resume from our Update yesterday, as you will recall, a Redskins win ensured John Weaver's first WSP of 2011. A Dallas win threw open the doors to chaos. We all know chaos is the default setting in life, a fact that many of us ignored by stupidly choosing the Redskins. I'm a founding member of that group, sadly.
Dallas' win meant the week came down to Monday Night Points (MNP) but Dallas' redzone incompetence meant that the score stayed low, a measly 34 points. You'll remember from the update that if the score was between 0 and 34 total points, the winner would be (and is)...
Sandy Kory!
Sandy wins a trip to exotic Prague! An all inclusive stay in beautiful Prague with a 4 star hotel and pre-made reservations at the best restaurants! The only thing is you can't be in Prague at the time of the award... oh... guess what? Drat! Maybe next time my globetrotting brother won't be so cavalier about uh, globetrotting. The good news is that the WSP of $80 comes out to 1,432 Czech Crowns. So, you know, there is that.
Here are the final standings for Week 3 in the Pool(poop!):
1. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
1. John Weaver ... 11-5
1. Zack Klein ... 11-5
5. Joey Bansen ... 10-6
5. George Smith ... 10-6
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-6
5. Josh Money ... 10-6
5. Jon Stover ... 10-6
5. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
5. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
5. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
13. Dave Labowitz ... 9-7
13. Robin Wood ... 9-7
13. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
13. Bill Denton ... 9-7
17. Paddy Althoff ... 6-10
18. Adam Roy ... 5-11
I've changed up the way I present The Current Overall Standings (COS) this year. You olde heads may have noticed I've dropped the records and am just going with total wins. It's the same thing, and you get the same sense of where you are in comparison with your other pool(poop!)mates, but it's so much easier on yours truly.
Anyway, here. COS:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 39
2. John Weaver ... 36
3. Zack Klein ... 33
3. Dave Labowitz ... 33
5. Ryan Schultz ... 32
5. Matthew Mariam ... 32
7. Robin Wood ... 31
7. Joey Bansen ... 31
9. Jon Stover ... 30
9. George Smith ... 30
9. Josh Money ... 30
12. Sandy Kory ... 29
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 29
12. Paddy Althoff ... 29
12. Bill Denton 29
12. Matthew Kory ... 29
17. Christine Roberts ... 28
18. Adam Roy ... 27
If you can do simple math and your name isn't Karl Vaillancourt then you may notice that your ass is getting kicked by Karl Vaillancourt. He's got a 3 game lead on the field and a six game lead on the money. Which, is insane. Still, we're only there weeks into this baby (that's a gross visual, huh?) so there's still time to climb out of the abyss if your name is (picking one at random) Matthew Kory. Actually, he's fucked.
But if you're anyone else you still have a shot. So don't forget to send in those picks (ADAM!) this week. The schedule will be up shortly. Have a great week everyone.
Nothing like starting off the weekly results post by not making any damn sense. But when considering the week that was in the NFL, or as Chris Carter would say, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, maybe it's fitting. The Bills? The Lions? The Eagles? Jeez... who saw that shit coming, right? Well, to be fair and in order, three people, everyone, and Ryan Schultz. Ryan was the only one to pick the New York Coitus Giants. Unfortunately he wasn't so lucky with his other picks, as we shall see.
But, to resume from our Update yesterday, as you will recall, a Redskins win ensured John Weaver's first WSP of 2011. A Dallas win threw open the doors to chaos. We all know chaos is the default setting in life, a fact that many of us ignored by stupidly choosing the Redskins. I'm a founding member of that group, sadly.
Dallas' win meant the week came down to Monday Night Points (MNP) but Dallas' redzone incompetence meant that the score stayed low, a measly 34 points. You'll remember from the update that if the score was between 0 and 34 total points, the winner would be (and is)...
Sandy Kory!
Sandy wins a trip to exotic Prague! An all inclusive stay in beautiful Prague with a 4 star hotel and pre-made reservations at the best restaurants! The only thing is you can't be in Prague at the time of the award... oh... guess what? Drat! Maybe next time my globetrotting brother won't be so cavalier about uh, globetrotting. The good news is that the WSP of $80 comes out to 1,432 Czech Crowns. So, you know, there is that.
Here are the final standings for Week 3 in the Pool(poop!):
1. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
1. John Weaver ... 11-5
1. Zack Klein ... 11-5
5. Joey Bansen ... 10-6
5. George Smith ... 10-6
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-6
5. Josh Money ... 10-6
5. Jon Stover ... 10-6
5. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
5. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
5. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
13. Dave Labowitz ... 9-7
13. Robin Wood ... 9-7
13. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
13. Bill Denton ... 9-7
17. Paddy Althoff ... 6-10
18. Adam Roy ... 5-11
I've changed up the way I present The Current Overall Standings (COS) this year. You olde heads may have noticed I've dropped the records and am just going with total wins. It's the same thing, and you get the same sense of where you are in comparison with your other pool(poop!)mates, but it's so much easier on yours truly.
Anyway, here. COS:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 39
2. John Weaver ... 36
3. Zack Klein ... 33
3. Dave Labowitz ... 33
5. Ryan Schultz ... 32
5. Matthew Mariam ... 32
7. Robin Wood ... 31
7. Joey Bansen ... 31
9. Jon Stover ... 30
9. George Smith ... 30
9. Josh Money ... 30
12. Sandy Kory ... 29
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 29
12. Paddy Althoff ... 29
12. Bill Denton 29
12. Matthew Kory ... 29
17. Christine Roberts ... 28
18. Adam Roy ... 27
If you can do simple math and your name isn't Karl Vaillancourt then you may notice that your ass is getting kicked by Karl Vaillancourt. He's got a 3 game lead on the field and a six game lead on the money. Which, is insane. Still, we're only there weeks into this baby (that's a gross visual, huh?) so there's still time to climb out of the abyss if your name is (picking one at random) Matthew Kory. Actually, he's fucked.
But if you're anyone else you still have a shot. So don't forget to send in those picks (ADAM!) this week. The schedule will be up shortly. Have a great week everyone.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Week 3: Update
It's late and I'm really tired. I'll update this later today with more specific information, but for now, our fearless leader is John Weaver with 11 wins. There are a ton of people (including yours truly) who have 10 wins so far. John has the Skins (Washington to be all technical on you) tonight so if you have a) fewer than ten wins, b) ten wins and the Skins, you're, I'm sorry to say, F'd. If you have 10 wins and Dallas, you can, in theory, catch and tie John. I'll post the specifics here later today. But right now I'm going to pass out.
* * * UPDATE * * *
Shockingly I was leading the pool(poop!) by a game after the early games. Not at all shockingly that lead didn't last. In fact, I was passed by about everyone. But enough about me. Let's talk about someone who actually knows what they're doing. Let's talk some John Weaver.
John Weaver not only has the finest hair you've ever seen -- and I'm not kidding folks, it's f'n exquisite! -- but he is the only person in the pool to manage 11 wins so far this week. Six people did manage 10 wins however, so in contrast to past weeks, we actually have a bit of drama here. As John as a one game lead on the field, if he has the Monday Night game correct then it's a done deal. Nobody can catch him.
John perhaps foolishly put his money down on the Washington Redskins. If somehow the Redskins fail to beat the Cowboys in Dallas, that throws open the doors to the rabble. In this case the rabble is Sandy Kory, Karl Vaillancourt, and Zack Klein.
So, if Dallas wins, it comes down to Monday Night Points (MNP). Recall, if it does come down to MNP the winner will be the genius who gets closest to the total number of points scored without going over (Price Is Right rules). With that as a backdrop, here's the situation:
Sandy 29
Karl 35
Zack 42
John 44
If Dallas wins, and the total number of points scored is
* * * UPDATE * * *
Shockingly I was leading the pool(poop!) by a game after the early games. Not at all shockingly that lead didn't last. In fact, I was passed by about everyone. But enough about me. Let's talk about someone who actually knows what they're doing. Let's talk some John Weaver.
John Weaver not only has the finest hair you've ever seen -- and I'm not kidding folks, it's f'n exquisite! -- but he is the only person in the pool to manage 11 wins so far this week. Six people did manage 10 wins however, so in contrast to past weeks, we actually have a bit of drama here. As John as a one game lead on the field, if he has the Monday Night game correct then it's a done deal. Nobody can catch him.
John perhaps foolishly put his money down on the Washington Redskins. If somehow the Redskins fail to beat the Cowboys in Dallas, that throws open the doors to the rabble. In this case the rabble is Sandy Kory, Karl Vaillancourt, and Zack Klein.
So, if Dallas wins, it comes down to Monday Night Points (MNP). Recall, if it does come down to MNP the winner will be the genius who gets closest to the total number of points scored without going over (Price Is Right rules). With that as a backdrop, here's the situation:
Sandy 29
Karl 35
Zack 42
John 44
If Dallas wins, and the total number of points scored is
- between 0 and 34, Sandy Kory wins.
- between 35 and 41, Karl Vaillancourt wins.
- either 42 or 43, Zack Klein wins.
- 44 or more, John Weaver wins.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Week 3: Schedule
Oh calm the hell down. Here's your week 3 schedule:
Jacksonville at Carolina
Detroit at Minnesota
San Francisco at Cincinnati
Miami at Cleveland
New England at Buffalo
New York Coitus Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at Tennessee
Houston at New Orleans
New York Jets at Oakland
Kansas City at San Diego
Baltimore at St. Louis
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Chicago
Arizona at Seattle
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis
Washington at Dallas (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com by 1pm EST this Sunday, September 25th
Jacksonville at Carolina
Detroit at Minnesota
San Francisco at Cincinnati
Miami at Cleveland
New England at Buffalo
New York Coitus Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at Tennessee
Houston at New Orleans
New York Jets at Oakland
Kansas City at San Diego
Baltimore at St. Louis
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Chicago
Arizona at Seattle
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis
Washington at Dallas (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com by 1pm EST this Sunday, September 25th
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Week 2: Results
Wow, am I bad at this. So so so bad. I thought it was a tough week, then I looked at just about everyone else's picks. Nope, not really that hard. Special thanks to Christine and my brother for not sending in his picks. Maybe I'll back into one one of these weeks.
Actually, this gives me a good opportunity to talk about not sending in your picks. It happens people. I mean, I like to believe that you all live, breath, sleep, eat, shit, eat that shit, and sleep again the pool(poop!), but I know that sometimes sending in your picks just falls through the cracks. Maybe your parents were killed in a helicopter accident. Maybe flesh-eating locusts devoured your brother. Maybe your legs were caught in a bear trap. Multiple bear traps actually. And you had to gnaw them off at the ankles. Who am I to judge? We all face hardships in life and sometimes the pool(poop!) is secondary. Reminds me, sorry about your legs Sandy!
So when that happens I don't want it to destroy your season here in the pool(poop!). It's in everyone's interest to have fun with this and it's more fun when you're in contention. Back in the old days when I used to send weekly schedules by mastodon, I gave people all the home teams, or the favorites. But then we encountered situations wherein people who didn't send in their picks got better records than people who did. And that can't stand. So what I do now is take the worst record that anyone has that week and then subtract a game. This week Christine finished 9-7, ergo Sandy gets 8-8. It sucks, and it's tough to dig yourself out from, but it won't necessarily destroy your season.
Well, actually, if Karl Vaillancourt keeps picking like this, we're all F'd anyway, so the whole policy doesn't much matter. Krazy Karl, as I've taken to calling him -- and by "taken to calling him" I mean "just started calling him" (if you think that's bad wait till you see what I call him after he wins again next week) -- isn't perfect on the year. But he's damn close. Out of 32 games, Krazy Karl has 28 of 'em right. I couldn't get that many correct if you gave me the answers beforehand.
So without further ado (poo!), here's how things ended up in Week 2:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 15-1
2. John Weaver ... 14-2
2. Dave Labowitz ... 14-2
4. Matthew Mariam ... 13-3
5. Robin Wood ... 12-4
5. Jon Stover ... 12-4
5. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
5. Zack Klein ... 12-4
5. George Smith ... 12-4
5. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
5. Josh Money ... 12-4
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 11-5
12. Adam Roy ... 11-5
14. Bill Denton ... 10-6
14. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
14. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
18. Sandy Kory ... 8-8
That's right, John Weaver went 14-2 and didn't even make it to Monday Night Points. Jeez... All of which means, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's Big Weiner! For his exemplary efforts, Karl wins a DVD, Souffle the Manning Way: Baking with Eli. We're all looking forward that cheese and mushroom recipe, Karl! No, sadly, Karl only wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Again (again).
Which reminds me: you'll never guess who is in first place over all. I'll give you negative four guesses! Wrong! It's Karl Vaillancourt who will be, if we all aren't careful, able to put a down payment on a house in sixteen weeks. Here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 2:
Current Overall Standings (COS)
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 28 wins
2. John Weaver ... 25
3. Dave Labowitz ... 24
4. Ryan Schultz ... 23
4. Paddy Althoff ... 23
6. Adam Roy ... 22
6. Matthew Mariam ... 22
6. Robin Wood ... 22
6. Zack Klein ... 22
10. Joey Bansen ... 21
11. Bill Denton ... 20
11. Jon Stover ... 20
11. Josh Money ... 20
11. George Smith ... 20
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 19
15. Matthew Kory ... 19
17. Christine Roberts ... 18
17. Sandy Kory ... 18
I'll have the schedule for Week 3 up shortly. Congrats again to Krazy Karl Vaillancourt. Oh! And Karl, if you hear a rustling in your bushes any night this week, it's Dave Labowitz. Put some beer in a saucer, put it on the front stoop, and lock all your doors and windows.
Actually, this gives me a good opportunity to talk about not sending in your picks. It happens people. I mean, I like to believe that you all live, breath, sleep, eat, shit, eat that shit, and sleep again the pool(poop!), but I know that sometimes sending in your picks just falls through the cracks. Maybe your parents were killed in a helicopter accident. Maybe flesh-eating locusts devoured your brother. Maybe your legs were caught in a bear trap. Multiple bear traps actually. And you had to gnaw them off at the ankles. Who am I to judge? We all face hardships in life and sometimes the pool(poop!) is secondary. Reminds me, sorry about your legs Sandy!
So when that happens I don't want it to destroy your season here in the pool(poop!). It's in everyone's interest to have fun with this and it's more fun when you're in contention. Back in the old days when I used to send weekly schedules by mastodon, I gave people all the home teams, or the favorites. But then we encountered situations wherein people who didn't send in their picks got better records than people who did. And that can't stand. So what I do now is take the worst record that anyone has that week and then subtract a game. This week Christine finished 9-7, ergo Sandy gets 8-8. It sucks, and it's tough to dig yourself out from, but it won't necessarily destroy your season.
Well, actually, if Karl Vaillancourt keeps picking like this, we're all F'd anyway, so the whole policy doesn't much matter. Krazy Karl, as I've taken to calling him -- and by "taken to calling him" I mean "just started calling him" (if you think that's bad wait till you see what I call him after he wins again next week) -- isn't perfect on the year. But he's damn close. Out of 32 games, Krazy Karl has 28 of 'em right. I couldn't get that many correct if you gave me the answers beforehand.
So without further ado (poo!), here's how things ended up in Week 2:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 15-1
2. John Weaver ... 14-2
2. Dave Labowitz ... 14-2
4. Matthew Mariam ... 13-3
5. Robin Wood ... 12-4
5. Jon Stover ... 12-4
5. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
5. Zack Klein ... 12-4
5. George Smith ... 12-4
5. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
5. Josh Money ... 12-4
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 11-5
12. Adam Roy ... 11-5
14. Bill Denton ... 10-6
14. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
14. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
18. Sandy Kory ... 8-8
That's right, John Weaver went 14-2 and didn't even make it to Monday Night Points. Jeez... All of which means, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's Big Weiner! For his exemplary efforts, Karl wins a DVD, Souffle the Manning Way: Baking with Eli. We're all looking forward that cheese and mushroom recipe, Karl! No, sadly, Karl only wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Again (again).
Which reminds me: you'll never guess who is in first place over all. I'll give you negative four guesses! Wrong! It's Karl Vaillancourt who will be, if we all aren't careful, able to put a down payment on a house in sixteen weeks. Here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 2:
Current Overall Standings (COS)
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 28 wins
2. John Weaver ... 25
3. Dave Labowitz ... 24
4. Ryan Schultz ... 23
4. Paddy Althoff ... 23
6. Adam Roy ... 22
6. Matthew Mariam ... 22
6. Robin Wood ... 22
6. Zack Klein ... 22
10. Joey Bansen ... 21
11. Bill Denton ... 20
11. Jon Stover ... 20
11. Josh Money ... 20
11. George Smith ... 20
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 19
15. Matthew Kory ... 19
17. Christine Roberts ... 18
17. Sandy Kory ... 18
I'll have the schedule for Week 3 up shortly. Congrats again to Krazy Karl Vaillancourt. Oh! And Karl, if you hear a rustling in your bushes any night this week, it's Dave Labowitz. Put some beer in a saucer, put it on the front stoop, and lock all your doors and windows.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Week 2: Update
You don't want to know.
OK, fine. Karl won again. Dave Labowitz almost won, but he didn't. Silly Eagles.
Back tomorrow with the specifics. Congrats (again) to Karl.
OK, fine. Karl won again. Dave Labowitz almost won, but he didn't. Silly Eagles.
Back tomorrow with the specifics. Congrats (again) to Karl.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Week 2: Schedule
Quit yer yappin! Here's the Week 2 Schedule:
Seattle at Pittsburgh
Oakland at Buffalo
Arizona at Washington
Tampa Bay at Minnesota
Jacksonville at New York Jets
Chicago at New Orleans
Green Bay at Carolina
Baltimore at Tennessee
Kansas City at Detroit
Cleveland at Indianapolis
Dallas at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Denver
San Diego at New England
Houston at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
St. Louis at New York Flatulence Giants (plus total points)
As always, email your winners and Monday Night Points to mattyspool@gmail.com by the start of the first game.
Seattle at Pittsburgh
Oakland at Buffalo
Arizona at Washington
Tampa Bay at Minnesota
Jacksonville at New York Jets
Chicago at New Orleans
Green Bay at Carolina
Baltimore at Tennessee
Kansas City at Detroit
Cleveland at Indianapolis
Dallas at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Denver
San Diego at New England
Houston at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
St. Louis at New York Flatulence Giants (plus total points)
As always, email your winners and Monday Night Points to mattyspool@gmail.com by the start of the first game.
Week 1: Results
I just noticed that all the numbers are different. Apparently here at Matty's Football Pool(poop!) Headquarters (MFP(p!)HQ) counting things isn't our strong suit. For the record this is the Sixth Matty's Football Pool(poop!, or in the proper parlance, Matty's Sixth Semi-Annual Football Pool (poop!) (MSSAFP(p!)!).
Just so that's clear.
Anyway, to the pool(poop!)!
That's it, folks. Week 1 is in the books and all I have to show for it is this shitty record. You'd think as the person in charge of this pool(poop!) I'd have some F'n idea of what it is I'm doing. Nope. Not a one. In fairness to me, Week 1 is a toughie year after year. Stuff happens during the off season that throws our perceptions of who is good and who isn't asunder. Teams are built up over the off season, some on a foundation of talent, others on a foundation of hype. How quickly we are able to differentiate between the two can be the difference between finishing in the money at the end of the year or being clubbed in the eye with a brick (I did mention that last place gets clubbed in the eye with a brick, right?).
So who best managed the transition from off season to regular season? Who has the teams pegged best of all? Who knows the ins and outs of football best of all in this the year of our pool 2012? Who was the winner of the first Weekly Standard Prize (WSP)?
You'll recall that five people were still alive for the WSP at the beginning of the Monday night games. Of course Tom Brady single-handedly eliminated Matthew Mariam, who was the only one of us to pick against New England. Smart move there, Matt.
The second Monday night game featured the Raiders and Broncos. Only one of the remaining people picked Oakland (and only three of us, I think, in the entire pool) who pulled out a close one. But who? The answer is your Week 1 winner: Karl Vaillancourt.
Yes, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's big weiner. Karl wins a six month subscription to Cat Fancy and flaming bag of turds delivered to his front porch at 3am! Congratulations, Karl! No, sadly, Karl wins the Weekly Standard Prize of $80. That's enough for a year subscription to Cat Fancy!
So in conclusion, Karl won and kicked us in our collective dick in the process. Ouch. Thanks, Karl. Dave Labowitz take note, Mr. Vaillancourt hasn't lapped the field yet, but he's off to a nice start.
Here is how Week 1 ended up.
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 13-3
2. Adam Roy ... 11-5
2. Paddy Althoff ... 11-5
2. John Weaver ... 11-5
5. Bill Denton ... 10-6
5. Ryan Schultz ... 10-6
5. Zack Klein ... 10-6
5. Sandy Kory ... 10-6
5. Dave Labowitz ... 10-6
5. Robin Wood ... 10-6
11. Joey Bansen ... 9-7
11. Matthew Kory ... 9-7 (maybe 10-6 if I'd remembered to pick the ARI/SF game... moron)
11. Matthew Mariam ... 9-7
14. George Smith ... 8-8
14. Christine Roberts ... 8-8
14. Jon Stover ... 8-8
14. Josh Money ... 8-8
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 8-8
I usually publish the Current Overall Standings (COS) here as well, but since this is Week 1 they're the same thing. Yay!
Congratulations again to Karl. The schedule for Week 2 will be up later today.
Have a good week everyone.
Just so that's clear.
Anyway, to the pool(poop!)!
That's it, folks. Week 1 is in the books and all I have to show for it is this shitty record. You'd think as the person in charge of this pool(poop!) I'd have some F'n idea of what it is I'm doing. Nope. Not a one. In fairness to me, Week 1 is a toughie year after year. Stuff happens during the off season that throws our perceptions of who is good and who isn't asunder. Teams are built up over the off season, some on a foundation of talent, others on a foundation of hype. How quickly we are able to differentiate between the two can be the difference between finishing in the money at the end of the year or being clubbed in the eye with a brick (I did mention that last place gets clubbed in the eye with a brick, right?).
So who best managed the transition from off season to regular season? Who has the teams pegged best of all? Who knows the ins and outs of football best of all in this the year of our pool 2012? Who was the winner of the first Weekly Standard Prize (WSP)?
You'll recall that five people were still alive for the WSP at the beginning of the Monday night games. Of course Tom Brady single-handedly eliminated Matthew Mariam, who was the only one of us to pick against New England. Smart move there, Matt.
The second Monday night game featured the Raiders and Broncos. Only one of the remaining people picked Oakland (and only three of us, I think, in the entire pool) who pulled out a close one. But who? The answer is your Week 1 winner: Karl Vaillancourt.
Yes, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's big weiner. Karl wins a six month subscription to Cat Fancy and flaming bag of turds delivered to his front porch at 3am! Congratulations, Karl! No, sadly, Karl wins the Weekly Standard Prize of $80. That's enough for a year subscription to Cat Fancy!
So in conclusion, Karl won and kicked us in our collective dick in the process. Ouch. Thanks, Karl. Dave Labowitz take note, Mr. Vaillancourt hasn't lapped the field yet, but he's off to a nice start.
Here is how Week 1 ended up.
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 13-3
2. Adam Roy ... 11-5
2. Paddy Althoff ... 11-5
2. John Weaver ... 11-5
5. Bill Denton ... 10-6
5. Ryan Schultz ... 10-6
5. Zack Klein ... 10-6
5. Sandy Kory ... 10-6
5. Dave Labowitz ... 10-6
5. Robin Wood ... 10-6
11. Joey Bansen ... 9-7
11. Matthew Kory ... 9-7 (maybe 10-6 if I'd remembered to pick the ARI/SF game... moron)
11. Matthew Mariam ... 9-7
14. George Smith ... 8-8
14. Christine Roberts ... 8-8
14. Jon Stover ... 8-8
14. Josh Money ... 8-8
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 8-8
I usually publish the Current Overall Standings (COS) here as well, but since this is Week 1 they're the same thing. Yay!
Congratulations again to Karl. The schedule for Week 2 will be up later today.
Have a good week everyone.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Week 1: Update 2
What a weird day. First we have the 24 hour remembrance of 9/11 which
is fine, I guess, but it sure does take the wind out of your sails.
"Lots of people died ten years ago in an awful, painful, horrible mass
killing. Are you ready for some football?!?!?" Um, not really, no.
As for our little pool(poop!), we've got a live one here this week. Of the 18 people in the pool(poop!), five of them are still alive for this, our first Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Here they are in all their flaming glory:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-3 (47 Monday Night points)
2. John Weaver ... 10-4 (44)
2. Paddy Althoff ... 10-4 (didn't send in his points - rookie mistake.)
2. Adam Roy ... 10-4 (31)
5. Matt Mariam ... 9-5 (39)
As you can see, Karl leads by a game over the pack. However, he picked New England and Oakland to win Monday's games and each of John Weaver, Paddy Althoff, and Adam Roy have New England and Denver. If Denver wins we've got a four way tie for first.
But what about Matt Mariam? Why is he on the list? He's the only moron in the entire pool(poop!) crazy enough to pick Miami over New England. So, if Miami AND Denver win, Matt Mariam will have risen from the depths to tie all four above him and it'll come down to Monday Night Points. (Of course we all know that won't happen, but it might, so I still have to f'n deal with it.)
Here's the breakdown (and remember, folks, Monday Night Points go by Price is Right rules: the one closes to the right answer without going over wins (if everyone goes over it's just the closest)):
So I'm sure that's totally clear. I'll be back with the results late Monday evening or Tuesday morning depending on how drunk I get.
Oh yeah, Paddy, sorry bud, but you didn't send me your Monday Night Points so unless you finish a game up on the field (which ain't happening for you this week) you can't win. Gotta send in those points.
Good luck to all you bastards. Except Matt Mariam. Miami? Are you fucking serious?
As for our little pool(poop!), we've got a live one here this week. Of the 18 people in the pool(poop!), five of them are still alive for this, our first Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Here they are in all their flaming glory:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-3 (47 Monday Night points)
2. John Weaver ... 10-4 (44)
2. Paddy Althoff ... 10-4 (didn't send in his points - rookie mistake.)
2. Adam Roy ... 10-4 (31)
5. Matt Mariam ... 9-5 (39)
As you can see, Karl leads by a game over the pack. However, he picked New England and Oakland to win Monday's games and each of John Weaver, Paddy Althoff, and Adam Roy have New England and Denver. If Denver wins we've got a four way tie for first.
But what about Matt Mariam? Why is he on the list? He's the only moron in the entire pool(poop!) crazy enough to pick Miami over New England. So, if Miami AND Denver win, Matt Mariam will have risen from the depths to tie all four above him and it'll come down to Monday Night Points. (Of course we all know that won't happen, but it might, so I still have to f'n deal with it.)
Here's the breakdown (and remember, folks, Monday Night Points go by Price is Right rules: the one closes to the right answer without going over wins (if everyone goes over it's just the closest)):
- If Miami wins... Matt Mariam is still in it.
- If New England wins Matt Mariam can sit back down on that dildo and wait a week.
- If Oakland wins... Karl wins the WSP
- If Denver wins... things get interesting. Keep reading.
- If Denver wins and Miami wins and the final score is between...
0-38 - Adam Roy wins
39-43 - Matt Mariam wins
44-46 - John Weaver wins
47-above Karl Vaillancourt wins
- If Denver wins and New England wins and the final score is between...
0-43 - Adam Roy wins
44-46 - John Weaver wins
47-above Karl Vaillancourt wins
So I'm sure that's totally clear. I'll be back with the results late Monday evening or Tuesday morning depending on how drunk I get.
Oh yeah, Paddy, sorry bud, but you didn't send me your Monday Night Points so unless you finish a game up on the field (which ain't happening for you this week) you can't win. Gotta send in those points.
Good luck to all you bastards. Except Matt Mariam. Miami? Are you fucking serious?
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Week 1: Update 1
We're one whole game into the NFL season here at MFSAFP(p!)! and already we've got some stratification in the standings. Some, anyway.
1. Absolutely everyone in the Pool(poop!) ... 1-0
2. Except George Smith ... 0-1
2. And Adam Roy ... 0-1
4. Ha ha
1. Absolutely everyone in the Pool(poop!) ... 1-0
2. Except George Smith ... 0-1
2. And Adam Roy ... 0-1
4. Ha ha
Lotsa Info: Money, Money, Money, Money. Mooooooooney! Payouts & Tie-Breakers
If you're looking for the Week 1 Schedule, it's here.
Hey now gang, it's money breakdown time. I know in each of your heart of hearts you're in this pool for one reason: love of the game. Sure, everyone wants to get paid, but for you it's the competition, the dedication, and the desire to show you're the best that drives you each week. I respect that. Or, as the kids say, 'Gots ta 'spect it, son.'
So you may not have any interest in the rest of this post. But I figured, I may as well post it, you know, just in case someone actually cares. I mean, I'm sure you don't, but someone might.
* * *
In this moist season of manly NFL action, we've got 17 people participating in the Pool(poop!). That's [breaks out abacus] $2,125 in total money. Remember, nothing comes off the top. All of the money goes back to you. Or if I'm lucky, me. After consulting with my Treasurer, Matthew Mariam, we've decided on the following payouts.
Weekly Winner: $80 (17 x $80 = $1,360)
- Each week this prize goes to 1), the person with the best record, or 2) in the case of a tie, the person with the best record who came the closest without going over to the total points of that week's designated Monday night game, or 3) if everyone tied for first went over, then the person with the best record who got the closest to the total points.
Final Standings:
First overall: $420
Second overall: $210
Third overall: $135
[$1,360 + $420 + $210 + $135 = $2,125]
Final Overall Standings Tie Payout Scenarios (FOSTPS)
In the years doing this pool we've never had a tie at the top of the final standings before. But just in case, I thought it would be good to put in writing. For my own amusement I'll do this in the form of a FAQ ("Hey, man! FAAA Q!")
_
Q: What if there is a two way tie for first?
A: The first overall and second overall prize money is combined ($420 + $210 = $630) and divided by two ($630 / 2 = $315). Each of the tied participants receives an equal share. The person finishing behind the top two wins the third overall prize ($135).
_
Q: What if there is a three way (or more) tie for first?
A: All the prize money is be combined ($765) and divided by the number of people tied for the position.
Example
Made Up Final Standings:
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 200-2
Person 3 ... 200-2
Person 4 ... 199-3
Person 5 ... 198-4
- Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3 are tied for first overall. All the final money is added together ($765), split three ways, and distributed equally to each ($255 per share).
- Person 4 and Person 5 get kicked in the dick.
_
Q: What if there is a tie for second overall, but not for first overall?
A: The person who finishes first overall will receive the full first overall prize. The people tied for second will receive the total of the second and third overall prizes ($210 + $135 = $345) divided by the number of people tied for second.
Example 3
Final Standings:
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 199-3
Person 3 ... 199-3
Person 4 ... 199-3
Person 5 ... 198-4
- Person 1 wins the full first overall prize of $410.
- Person 2, Person 3 and Person 4 are all tied for second. The second place and third place money ($210 and $135) are combined ($345) and split three ways so that each receives a share ($115).
- Person 5 receives a boot to the nads.
_
Q: What if there are no ties for first or second but there is a tie for third?
A: The first and second overall prizes will be distributed normally. The third overall prize ($135) will be split as many ways as there are third place finishers.
_
Q: What if there is a two-way tie for first overall and a tie for third overall?
A: You mean if the final standings look like this?
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 200-2
Person 3 ... 199-3
Person 4 ... 198-4
Person 5 ... 198-4
Q: Yes.
A: In that case the first overall prize and the second overall prize would be added together and divided up equally between the top two finishers as discussed above. The third overall prize would go to Person 3, who finished third overall. Persons 4 and 5 would receive the out-of-contention punch to the nuts.
_
Q: What if there are no ties at all?
A: Whore it out, baby.
_
* * *
I hope that is all clear. Please email me if you have any questions.
Hey now gang, it's money breakdown time. I know in each of your heart of hearts you're in this pool for one reason: love of the game. Sure, everyone wants to get paid, but for you it's the competition, the dedication, and the desire to show you're the best that drives you each week. I respect that. Or, as the kids say, 'Gots ta 'spect it, son.'
So you may not have any interest in the rest of this post. But I figured, I may as well post it, you know, just in case someone actually cares. I mean, I'm sure you don't, but someone might.
* * *
In this moist season of manly NFL action, we've got 17 people participating in the Pool(poop!). That's [breaks out abacus] $2,125 in total money. Remember, nothing comes off the top. All of the money goes back to you. Or if I'm lucky, me. After consulting with my Treasurer, Matthew Mariam, we've decided on the following payouts.
Weekly Winner: $80 (17 x $80 = $1,360)
- Each week this prize goes to 1), the person with the best record, or 2) in the case of a tie, the person with the best record who came the closest without going over to the total points of that week's designated Monday night game, or 3) if everyone tied for first went over, then the person with the best record who got the closest to the total points.
Final Standings:
First overall: $420
Second overall: $210
Third overall: $135
[$1,360 + $420 + $210 + $135 = $2,125]
Final Overall Standings Tie Payout Scenarios (FOSTPS)
In the years doing this pool we've never had a tie at the top of the final standings before. But just in case, I thought it would be good to put in writing. For my own amusement I'll do this in the form of a FAQ ("Hey, man! FAAA Q!")
_
Q: What if there is a two way tie for first?
A: The first overall and second overall prize money is combined ($420 + $210 = $630) and divided by two ($630 / 2 = $315). Each of the tied participants receives an equal share. The person finishing behind the top two wins the third overall prize ($135).
_
Q: What if there is a three way (or more) tie for first?
A: All the prize money is be combined ($765) and divided by the number of people tied for the position.
Example
Made Up Final Standings:
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 200-2
Person 3 ... 200-2
Person 4 ... 199-3
Person 5 ... 198-4
- Person 1, Person 2, and Person 3 are tied for first overall. All the final money is added together ($765), split three ways, and distributed equally to each ($255 per share).
- Person 4 and Person 5 get kicked in the dick.
_
Q: What if there is a tie for second overall, but not for first overall?
A: The person who finishes first overall will receive the full first overall prize. The people tied for second will receive the total of the second and third overall prizes ($210 + $135 = $345) divided by the number of people tied for second.
Example 3
Final Standings:
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 199-3
Person 3 ... 199-3
Person 4 ... 199-3
Person 5 ... 198-4
- Person 1 wins the full first overall prize of $410.
- Person 2, Person 3 and Person 4 are all tied for second. The second place and third place money ($210 and $135) are combined ($345) and split three ways so that each receives a share ($115).
- Person 5 receives a boot to the nads.
_
Q: What if there are no ties for first or second but there is a tie for third?
A: The first and second overall prizes will be distributed normally. The third overall prize ($135) will be split as many ways as there are third place finishers.
_
Q: What if there is a two-way tie for first overall and a tie for third overall?
A: You mean if the final standings look like this?
Person 1 ... 200-2
Person 2 ... 200-2
Person 3 ... 199-3
Person 4 ... 198-4
Person 5 ... 198-4
Q: Yes.
A: In that case the first overall prize and the second overall prize would be added together and divided up equally between the top two finishers as discussed above. The third overall prize would go to Person 3, who finished third overall. Persons 4 and 5 would receive the out-of-contention punch to the nuts.
_
Q: What if there are no ties at all?
A: Whore it out, baby.
_
* * *
I hope that is all clear. Please email me if you have any questions.
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
Week 1: Schedule
It's time for Week 1!!!
Of note:
1. You may send in your Thursday pick and the remaining games separately. I need your Thursday pick (NO@BG) by 8:29pm EST, Thursday, September 8th, and all the remaining games by 1:00pm EST on Sunday, September 11th.
2. There are two Monday night games this week. The later of the two will be the tie breaker.
Here is your Week 1 Schedule:
Thursday:
New Orleans at Green Bay (8:30pm EST – first game of year)
Sunday:
Atlanta at Chicago
Indianapolis at Houston
Buffalo at Kansas City
Tennessee at Jacksonville
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Philadelphia at St. Louis
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
Detroit at Tampa Bay
Minnesota at San Diego
New York “Goatbutt” Giants at Washington
Carolina at Arizona
Seattle at San Francisco
Dallas at New York Jets
New England at Miami
Oakland at Denver (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com
Of note:
1. You may send in your Thursday pick and the remaining games separately. I need your Thursday pick (NO@BG) by 8:29pm EST, Thursday, September 8th, and all the remaining games by 1:00pm EST on Sunday, September 11th.
2. There are two Monday night games this week. The later of the two will be the tie breaker.
Here is your Week 1 Schedule:
Thursday:
New Orleans at Green Bay (8:30pm EST – first game of year)
Sunday:
Atlanta at Chicago
Indianapolis at Houston
Buffalo at Kansas City
Tennessee at Jacksonville
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Philadelphia at St. Louis
Pittsburgh at Baltimore
Detroit at Tampa Bay
Minnesota at San Diego
New York “Goatbutt” Giants at Washington
Carolina at Arizona
Seattle at San Francisco
Dallas at New York Jets
New England at Miami
Oakland at Denver (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com
Sunday, September 04, 2011
It's (Yet) Another Season Of MSAFP(p!)!: Your Introduction To The Year
Hey now, gang!
Welcome to another moist and exciting season of NFL football. We almost didn't make it, but now we made it. That's my synopsis of NFL Lockout '10-11, which, when I write it that way, sounds like a video game. Play NFL Lockout '10-11! Play as either the NFL or the NFLPA! Should you de-certify? Should you make inflammatory comments to the NY Times? Does it matter if you waive a gun at some dude in a night club? Play your cards right and you could put the entire NFL players union into indentured servitude! Or get talk the NFL owners into a $50,000,000 minimum salary!
Anyway. There are a few things we should get in writing. First, welcome. Second, I write about poop a lot. Not because I think it's funny but because it is funny. Third, hopefully this pool(poop!) (see?) improves your enjoyment of the NFL season. Second third, I'm not good at counting.
And now, How This Pool(poop!) Works:
I try to keep email to a minimum. As such, this blog will serve as the conduit of all things pool(poop!) related. You can expect stuff to be posted at standard times. In other words, bookmark this page 'cause you'll be back here often.
The weekly schedule:
Dallas at Philadelphia
Seattle at Jacksonville (plus total points)
You could send this back to me:
NY Giants
Philadelphia
Seattle (45)
As for Monday Night Points [the last game with the points designation is always the Monday night game]:
Hopefully everything is clear, but if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email (matthew.kory@gmail.com). You can also email the pool treasurer, Matthew Mariam, at matthew.mariam@gmail.com.
Good luck and bring on Week 1!!
Welcome to another moist and exciting season of NFL football. We almost didn't make it, but now we made it. That's my synopsis of NFL Lockout '10-11, which, when I write it that way, sounds like a video game. Play NFL Lockout '10-11! Play as either the NFL or the NFLPA! Should you de-certify? Should you make inflammatory comments to the NY Times? Does it matter if you waive a gun at some dude in a night club? Play your cards right and you could put the entire NFL players union into indentured servitude! Or get talk the NFL owners into a $50,000,000 minimum salary!
Anyway. There are a few things we should get in writing. First, welcome. Second, I write about poop a lot. Not because I think it's funny but because it is funny. Third, hopefully this pool(poop!) (see?) improves your enjoyment of the NFL season. Second third, I'm not good at counting.
And now, How This Pool(poop!) Works:
I try to keep email to a minimum. As such, this blog will serve as the conduit of all things pool(poop!) related. You can expect stuff to be posted at standard times. In other words, bookmark this page 'cause you'll be back here often.
The weekly schedule:
- The weekly schedule will appear here on Tuesdays, but sometimes Wednesdays.
- After Sunday's games I usually put up an update. Check and find out if you're in the running for the money that week and if so what you need to happen on Monday night to win.
- After the last game of the week, I put up both the weekly standings and the season-to-date standings.
- Then we do the whole damn thing all over again. Yay!
- Email your picks to me before the first game starts.
- Email them to mattyspool@gmail.com. [Note: this is a different email address than I've been using to correspond with you so far!]
- Please send them to me in the order I put them on the website! This will save me tons of time. Copy and paste the schedule from this site into the body of your email. Then cut out the teams you think will lose, so that when finished you have list of the teams you think will win that week. For example, if I posted a the following:
Dallas at Philadelphia
Seattle at Jacksonville (plus total points)
You could send this back to me:
NY Giants
Philadelphia
Seattle (45)
As for Monday Night Points [the last game with the points designation is always the Monday night game]:
- those are used to break a tie.
- If two or more people end up tied for first with the same number of games correct, we use Monday Night Points (MNP) as a tiebreaker.
- At MFSAFP(p!), we use The Price Is Right rules. For those of you unfamiliar, that means the winner is the one who gets closest to the total without going over.
- For example, if you sent 45 points as in the above example and Bob sent in 30 points and the total points scored in that game (all the points scored by both teams together) is 44, Bob would win. You were closer but you went over. If everyone goes over then the rule is the guess closest to the actual number. If it is a tie, we split the prize money.
- I need all of your picks by the start of the first game of the week, which is usually 1:05 pm EST.
- However, we're making an exception for Thursday games. If you want, you may send in your picks in two installments, 1) Your Thursday pick before Thursday's kickoff and 2) the rest of your weekly picks by the start of the next game, be it Saturday or Sunday.
- Please title your email in such a way so it contains both your name and the week number. For example: "Dick's Week 1 picks"
Hopefully everything is clear, but if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an email (matthew.kory@gmail.com). You can also email the pool treasurer, Matthew Mariam, at matthew.mariam@gmail.com.
Good luck and bring on Week 1!!
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