Thursday, January 05, 2012

Week 17: Results (Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow)

It's just bad form to end the pool(poop!) like this, what with being late and all, but what can you do. Live intrudes on our fun from time to time. In any case, here we go:

But before we start, tell me, is this book title funny:
Funny Stories I Overheard While Vomiting by Kate Moss.

Hot damn I'm a genius.

So. Week 17.

Outside of Week 1, Week 17 is always one of the hardest weeks to crack. We all have a decent idea of who the good teams are (well, most of us do), but who the hell knows who is going to be on the field? In what other week since about Week 3 could you pick the Colts and not be immediately whisked away to the infirmary? Picking Carolina on the road at New Orleans would be grounds for dismissal from your job were it any other week. But, because it was Week 17, neither of those picks raised an eyebrow.

As such, the picks were all over the map. Some people just nailed the shit out of the week, while others had the shit nailed to them. Remember though, when looking over this, the Current Overall Standings (about to become the Current Final Standings) were close. John Weaver held a three game lead over Dave Labowitz for first overall, Dave was only up a single game on Karl Vaillancourt for 2nd Overall, and Karl was up a game on Josh Money, four on Joey Bansen, and five on Robin Wood.

Here's how Week 17 shook out:

1. Jon Stover ... 15-1
2. Ryan Schultz ... 14-2
2. Joey Bansen ... 14-2
4. Dave Labowitz ... 11-5
4. Josh Money ... 11-5
4. Christine Roberts ... 11-5
7. Sandy Kory ... 10-6
7. Adam Roy ... 10-6
7. Gedeon Mariam ...  10-6
7. Robin Wood ... 10-6
7. John Weaver ... 10-6
12. Matthew Mariam ... 9-7
12. Matthew Kory ... 9-7
12. Bill Denton ... 9-7
15. Karl Vaillancourt ... 7-9
16. Zack Klein ... 6-10
17. George Smith ... 5-11
17. Paddy Althoff ... 5-11

I should note at this point that Jon Stover called me on the phone to let me know he'd won the week on Sunday night because, as he said, he hadn't missed a game. No, ya yabo, you picked Detroit over Green Bay. Fortunately for Jon, he actually did get every single OTHER game right which was enough to edge out Ryan Schultz and Joey Bansen by a game for the final Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Still, I should take Jon's WSP away from him for being a moron, but I won't. Not because I'm some benevolent dictator, but because he promised me $40 if I left him keep it. But, don't feel gypped everyone else, because I'm spend that $40 on a giant dildo and a rocket launcher for the next time I see Jon. Smooches!

Now, the moment you've been waiting for, as my cat sits on my wrists making it virtually impossible to type anything. Christ, furbag! So, here are the Final Overall Standings (FOS) for this, Matty's Fifth Semi-Annual Football Pool(poop!)!

1. John Weaver ... 175
2. Dave Labowitz ... 173
3. Joey Bansen ... 171
3. Josh Money ... 171
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 168
6. Robin Wood ... 166
7. Matthew Kory ... 165
8. Christine Roberts ... 164
9. Zack Klein ... 160
10. Bill Denton ... 159
11. Matthew Mariam ... 158
12. Jon Stover ... 156
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 156
14. Sandy Kory ... 155
15. Ryan Schultz ... 154
16. George Smith ... 151
17. Paddy Althoff ... 140
17. Adam Roy ... 140

First, a most hearty congratulations to John Weaver, this year's Big Wiener! John has held on to first overall since taking it over from Karl Vaillancourt in Week 7. That's right, John has led us for eleven weeks straight which I'll just assume is some kind of record because I'm not going to look up. Congratulations, John!

Second overall goes to Dave Labowitz, who has been hot on John's heals for weeks now without ever quite breaking through. Still, second overall in an 18 person pool is nothing to sneeze at. Congratulations, Dave!

Third Overall goes to... well, actually we have ourselves a tie! Josh Money jumped ahead of Karl Vaillancourt but Joey Bansen came out of nowhere, making up five games on Karl and three on Josh to get into the tie. Congratulations to Josh and Joey!

So, I know you aren't doing this pool out of the goodness of your heart. Well, maybe a little bit, but still. Money. Right.

If you consult the money breakdown post from last September you'll see how the money is to be broken down. However, that is now incorrect. That breakdown was calculated for a 17 person Pool(poop!), but we had an 18th member join us at the last moment. That means we've got another $125 to add. The official treasurer and I had a discussion about it a while back and to be honest I have no idea what we decided. So, I'm making an executive decision. Here's how the money will be broken down.

1st Overall: $500 (John Weaver)
2nd Overall: $250 (Dave Labowitz)
3rd Overall: $140 (Joey Bansen and Josh Money)

Because there was a tie for Third Overall, that prize will be split two ways. 

Here, as I do each year, is the cumulative sum total (how's that for English?) of where everyone's $125 went. In other words, this is all the winnings added up and put into standings.

1. John Weaver: $740
2. Dave Labowitz: $330
3. Josh Money: $230
4. Karl Vaillancourt: $160
4. George Smith: $160
4. Sandy Kory: $160
7. Joey Bansen: $150
8. Jon Stover: $80
8. Matthew Kory: $80
8. Christine Roberts: $80
8. Bill Denton: $80

John Weaver cleaned the hell up this year, winning First Overall and three WSPs. That may just be the most anyone has ever won in a single year, and I may even go back and check that. Dave didn't do too badly either, with Second Overall and one WSP. Josh won two WSPs and tied for Third Overall. Karl, George, and Sandy each won two WSPs, while Joey tied for Third Overall and won one WSP. Jon, Christine, Bill, and yours truly won a single WSP.

(That adds up to our total of $2,250 (I just checked).) 

On a personal note, thank you to everyone in the Pool(poop!) for your comments, your suggestions and for just generally helping to make the NFL season just a bit more interesting and fun. I hope you've enjoyed the pool this year and I hope each of you will join us again next year. I'll be emailing you.

If, by the way, you have any suggestions or comments about the pool this year or how it could be better next year, please, don't hesitate to email me.

Thanks, and have a happy and healthy 2012.


Monday, January 02, 2012

Coming Soon...

Sorry folks, parks closed it's been a crazy night here at the Kory household. I'll have the results for you all up sometime today (Monday). Promise.

In the meantime, Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Week 17: Schedule

All games are on Sunday so we're using the Sunday night game as the tie breaker this week.  So *SOB*  here it is, the final schedule, your Week 17 inventory:

New York Jets at Miami
San Francisco at St. Louis
Carolina at New Orleans
Tennessee at Houston
Washington at Philadelphia
Detroit at Green Bay
Chicago at Minnesota
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Buffalo at New England
Seattle at Arizona
San Diego at Oakland
Kansas City at Denver
Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Baltimore at Cincinnati
Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Dallas at New York Giants (plus total points)

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Week 16: Results


No beating around the bush here. No tiddly winks and slappy cakes this weeks. I fucking win!


Ha HA!

As you surely recall from the update, Ryan and I were the lone wolves this week. Ryan went out on a limb and picked Atlanta to beat New Orleans on Monday Night. He was the only one in the pool(poop!) to do it. But, as everyone in the pool(poop!) but Ryan knew, Drew Brees is a professional ass kicking machine. The Falcons got in line, made it to the front, Brees kicked their asses and they headed back home.

I'm the big wiener Week 16! I win the WSP!

Gimme gimme gimme!

In any case, that means I win my first WSP this week. Congratulations to me.

OK, enough of that garbage. Here's how Week 16 came out:

1. Matthew Kory ... 13-3
2. Ryan Schultz ... 12-4
2. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
2. Sandy Kory ... 12-4
5. Bill Denton ... 11-5
5. Jon Stover ... 11-5
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
5. John Weaver ... 11-5
5. Robin Wood ... 11-5
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 11-5
11. Josh Money ... 10-6
11. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
11. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
11. Dave Labowitz ... 10-6
11. Zack Klein ... 10-6
16. George Smith ... 9-7
17. Adam Roy ... 8-8
17. Paddy Althoff ... 8-8

You'll notice that Dave Labowitz's 10 wins were less than John Weaver's 11. Thus John's lead on the pool as a whole increased by a game. Karl Vaillancourt also picked up a game on Dave and on Josh Money, vaulting himself free and clear into third place. Josh Money is only a game out of the money though so he can still finish as high as second if he puts his mind to it. Hell, he could finish first, it's just not bloody likely.

Beyond that, we're all fighting for table scraps, sadly. Joey Bansen is four games out of the money and would have to jump over Josh Money to get there. Not impossible, but a tall order with only a week to go. Robin Wood and I are (sorry to say, Robin) pretty well cooked. We're both five games out of the money with two people to jump over. Beyond that, well, it just ain't happening. Sorry folks.

Here's the Current Overall Standings through 16 weeks:

1. John Weaver ... 165
2. Dave Labowitz ... 162
3. Karl Vaillancourt ...  161
4. Josh Money ... 160
5. Joey Bansen ... 157
6. Robin Wood ...156
6. Matthew Kory ... 156
8. Zack Klein ... 154
9. Christine Roberts ... 153
10. Bill Denton ... 150
11. Matthew Mariam ... 149
12. Ryan Schultz ... 148
13. Gedeon Mariam ... 146
13. George Smith ... 146
15. Paddy Althoff ... 145
15. Sandy Kory ... 145
17. Adam Roy ... 143
18. Jon Stover ... 141

I'll post something before the start of week 17 on the pool as a whole and a reminder of the money situation.

Happy Holidays.

Week 16: Update

Yes, this is how dedicated (read: stupid) I am. I'm posting an update on Christmas day. Jesus will be pee-owed!

I'm writing this well before tonight's (Sunday's) Packers/Bears game because, well, we all know who will win that. And even if we don't, we all think we do (we all picked Green Bay), so for the purposes of the Pool(poop!)! it doesn't matter.

Week 16 has just two people still in the running for the Weekly Standard Prize. Ryan Schultz and (you're not going to believe this but...) ME! That's right! The idiot who runs this stupid waste of time might actually maybe sortof win something!

Holy crap on a crutch!

(Don't hold your breath.)

Ryan and I both have 12 wins and at least a game up on everyone else (again, assuming GB wins; if Chicago wins then we both have 11 wins and the same game up).

With the Monday Night match up of Atlanta (9-5) at New Orleans (11-3), you'd think this would come down to Monday Night Points (MNP). You'd be wrong. Everyone in the entire Pool(poop!)! picked New Orleans to beat Atlanta except one person: Ryan Schultz.

So MNPs be damned! This one's going down old style. If Atlanta beats New Orleans, Ryan is the Big Wiener for Week 16. If New Orleans wins, I'm your BW.

Back tomorrow or Tuesday with the results and the schedule for Week 17 which, by the way, is entirely devoid of Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Monday games. All the games are on Sunday, January 1st.


Happy Holidays, Pool(poop!) Peeps.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Week 16: Schedule

This is easily the strangest schedule of the year. Almost all the games are on Saturday because of Christmas. Only one game is on Sunday, with the requisite one on Thursday night and one on Monday night. As such, you can still send in your Thursday pick separately if you want, but there is no point in sending in Saturday picks separate from Sunday and Monday. As such, please just send in every post-Thursday game at once. Thanks.

Fear the schedule!

Thursday (can send in separately)

Houston at Indianapolis

Saturday & Everything Else (Please send in with Sunday & Monday picks)

Denver at Buffalo
Miami at New England
Cleveland at Baltimore
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Oakland at Kansas City
New York Giants at New York Jets
Minnesota at Washington
Tampa Bay at Carolina
Arizona at Cincinnati
St. Louis at Pittsburgh
San Diego at Detroit
Philadelphia at Dallas
San Francisco at Seattle
Chicago at Green Bay (Only Sunday Game)
Atlanta at New Orleans (plus total points)

Week 15: Results

I covered what a strange week this was in the Update on Sunday night. Suffice it to say STRANGE. That strangeness is reflected in our records. We haven't had as bad a week collectively since Week 10 when Bill Denton won with just 10 wins.

Anyway, it came down to both the Monday night game and then Monday Night Points. As you'll recall, if San Francisco won, which they did, then it would come down to John Weaver and Joey Bansen. John had the under and Joey the over (effectively) and because the final score was 20-3, this week's big wiener is John Weaver! Congratulations, John! You win ten hours of free babysitting by Bill Conlin!

OK, I've been informed that I've just been fired for that joke. 

Here are the results for Week 15:

1. John Weaver ... 11-5
1. Joey Bansen ... 11-5
3. Adam Roy ... 10-6
3. Bill Denton ... 10-6
3. Josh Money ... 10-6
3. Dave Labowitz ... 10-6
7. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-7
7. Matthew Kory ... 9-7
7. Jon Stover ... 9-7
10. Sandy Kory ... 8-8
10. Zack Klein ... 8-8
10. George Smith ... 8-8
10. Paddy Althoff ... 8-8
10. Matthew Mariam ... 8-8
10. Christine Roberts ... 8-8
16. Robin Wood ... 7-9
17. Ryan Schultz ... 6-10
18. Gedeon Mariam ... 5-11

You may see some similarities in the Week 15 results and the Current Overall Standings. For instance, John Weaver is in 1st in both of them. John actually picked up a game on Dave Labowitz who picked up a game on Karl Vailancourt. Josh Money also picked up a game on Karl and has now tied him for third place. After that, well, good fucking luck. Robin Wood, Joey Bansen, and Zack Klein are all within shouting if not striking distance. Other than that, we're all hoping for one or two more WSPs before calling it a year. 

Here are the Current Overall Standings...

1. John Weaver ... 154
2. Dave Labowitz ... 152
3. Josh Money ... 150
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 150
5. Robin Wood ... 145
5. Joey Bansen ... 145
7. Zack Klein ... 144
8. Christine Roberts ... 143
8. Matthew Kory ... 143
10. Bill Denton ... 139
10. Matthew Mariam ... 139
10. Ryan Schultz ... 139
13. George Smith ... 137
14. Paddy Althoff ... 136
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 135
16. Adam Roy ... 134
17. Sandy Kory ... 133
18. Jon Stover ... 130

The schedule for this week is weird because of Xmas. If you think you might forget to send in your picks, I suggest you just do it ASAP. You can always email me changes later if you want (though generally I discourage this because it 18 people making changes to their picks can be very confusing). Better bad picks than none.