Week 17: Results (Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow)

It's just bad form to end the pool(poop!) like this, what with being late and all, but what can you do. Live intrudes on our fun from time to time. In any case, here we go:

But before we start, tell me, is this book title funny:
Funny Stories I Overheard While Vomiting by Kate Moss.

Hot damn I'm a genius.

So. Week 17.

Outside of Week 1, Week 17 is always one of the hardest weeks to crack. We all have a decent idea of who the good teams are (well, most of us do), but who the hell knows who is going to be on the field? In what other week since about Week 3 could you pick the Colts and not be immediately whisked away to the infirmary? Picking Carolina on the road at New Orleans would be grounds for dismissal from your job were it any other week. But, because it was Week 17, neither of those picks raised an eyebrow.

As such, the picks were all over the map. Some people just nailed the shit out of the week, while others had the shit nailed to them. Remember though, when looking over this, the Current Overall Standings (about to become the Current Final Standings) were close. John Weaver held a three game lead over Dave Labowitz for first overall, Dave was only up a single game on Karl Vaillancourt for 2nd Overall, and Karl was up a game on Josh Money, four on Joey Bansen, and five on Robin Wood.

Here's how Week 17 shook out:


1. Jon Stover ... 15-1
2. Ryan Schultz ... 14-2
2. Joey Bansen ... 14-2
4. Dave Labowitz ... 11-5
4. Josh Money ... 11-5
4. Christine Roberts ... 11-5
7. Sandy Kory ... 10-6
7. Adam Roy ... 10-6
7. Gedeon Mariam ...  10-6
7. Robin Wood ... 10-6
7. John Weaver ... 10-6
12. Matthew Mariam ... 9-7
12. Matthew Kory ... 9-7
12. Bill Denton ... 9-7
15. Karl Vaillancourt ... 7-9
16. Zack Klein ... 6-10
17. George Smith ... 5-11
17. Paddy Althoff ... 5-11

I should note at this point that Jon Stover called me on the phone to let me know he'd won the week on Sunday night because, as he said, he hadn't missed a game. No, ya yabo, you picked Detroit over Green Bay. Fortunately for Jon, he actually did get every single OTHER game right which was enough to edge out Ryan Schultz and Joey Bansen by a game for the final Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Still, I should take Jon's WSP away from him for being a moron, but I won't. Not because I'm some benevolent dictator, but because he promised me $40 if I left him keep it. But, don't feel gypped everyone else, because I'm spend that $40 on a giant dildo and a rocket launcher for the next time I see Jon. Smooches!

Now, the moment you've been waiting for, as my cat sits on my wrists making it virtually impossible to type anything. Christ, furbag! So, here are the Final Overall Standings (FOS) for this, Matty's Fifth Semi-Annual Football Pool(poop!)!

1. John Weaver ... 175
2. Dave Labowitz ... 173
3. Joey Bansen ... 171
3. Josh Money ... 171
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 168
6. Robin Wood ... 166
7. Matthew Kory ... 165
8. Christine Roberts ... 164
9. Zack Klein ... 160
10. Bill Denton ... 159
11. Matthew Mariam ... 158
12. Jon Stover ... 156
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 156
14. Sandy Kory ... 155
15. Ryan Schultz ... 154
16. George Smith ... 151
17. Paddy Althoff ... 140
17. Adam Roy ... 140

First, a most hearty congratulations to John Weaver, this year's Big Wiener! John has held on to first overall since taking it over from Karl Vaillancourt in Week 7. That's right, John has led us for eleven weeks straight which I'll just assume is some kind of record because I'm not going to look up. Congratulations, John!

Second overall goes to Dave Labowitz, who has been hot on John's heals for weeks now without ever quite breaking through. Still, second overall in an 18 person pool is nothing to sneeze at. Congratulations, Dave!

Third Overall goes to... well, actually we have ourselves a tie! Josh Money jumped ahead of Karl Vaillancourt but Joey Bansen came out of nowhere, making up five games on Karl and three on Josh to get into the tie. Congratulations to Josh and Joey!

So, I know you aren't doing this pool out of the goodness of your heart. Well, maybe a little bit, but still. Money. Right.

If you consult the money breakdown post from last September you'll see how the money is to be broken down. However, that is now incorrect. That breakdown was calculated for a 17 person Pool(poop!), but we had an 18th member join us at the last moment. That means we've got another $125 to add. The official treasurer and I had a discussion about it a while back and to be honest I have no idea what we decided. So, I'm making an executive decision. Here's how the money will be broken down.

1st Overall: $500 (John Weaver)
2nd Overall: $250 (Dave Labowitz)
3rd Overall: $140 (Joey Bansen and Josh Money)

Because there was a tie for Third Overall, that prize will be split two ways. 

Here, as I do each year, is the cumulative sum total (how's that for English?) of where everyone's $125 went. In other words, this is all the winnings added up and put into standings.

1. John Weaver: $740
2. Dave Labowitz: $330
3. Josh Money: $230
4. Karl Vaillancourt: $160
4. George Smith: $160
4. Sandy Kory: $160
7. Joey Bansen: $150
8. Jon Stover: $80
8. Matthew Kory: $80
8. Christine Roberts: $80
8. Bill Denton: $80

John Weaver cleaned the hell up this year, winning First Overall and three WSPs. That may just be the most anyone has ever won in a single year, and I may even go back and check that. Dave didn't do too badly either, with Second Overall and one WSP. Josh won two WSPs and tied for Third Overall. Karl, George, and Sandy each won two WSPs, while Joey tied for Third Overall and won one WSP. Jon, Christine, Bill, and yours truly won a single WSP.

(That adds up to our total of $2,250 (I just checked).) 

On a personal note, thank you to everyone in the Pool(poop!) for your comments, your suggestions and for just generally helping to make the NFL season just a bit more interesting and fun. I hope you've enjoyed the pool this year and I hope each of you will join us again next year. I'll be emailing you.

If, by the way, you have any suggestions or comments about the pool this year or how it could be better next year, please, don't hesitate to email me.

Thanks, and have a happy and healthy 2012.

-Matty