WEEK 3: RESULTS

That’s all for Week 3, and this week we didn’t even have to use Monday Night Points to determine the winner. Nope. In fact, after Sunday’s delicious carnage (well, some of it was delicious, some of it made me PHYSICALLY ILL), we had just two fighters standing.

In the pink corner, weighing in at 881 pounds… no, wait, I’m reading that upside down, 188 pounds, eating only grilled chicken wrapped in hundred dollar bills, the twelve wins of Dave “Don’t Call Me Grafton” Labowitz!!. In the brown corner, weighing in at 150 2 lbs. burritos and a bucket of chips (with hot salsa, beyotch!), the twelve wins of William “Call Him Grafton, Please, I’m Literally Begging You” Denton, (Part GEIGH!!)!!

Team Denton threw their support behind the Saints, while in a smart move, Team Labowitz threw their support behind the Titans...oooohh! Who would win....?!?!?!

Yeah, Dave won. Blah blah blah…

A hearty Campbell’s Chunky Soup Congratulations to Dave, whom you may remember, assuming you can handle more than four pieces of information in your brain at a time, won Week 1 as well. That means that this is the second week Dave has won here at MSAFP(p!)!.

This week, Dave wins a dog-eared copy of “Winning Friends and Executing Retarded People: My Time at the Governor’s Mansion,” by George W. Bush. I highly recommend chapter 2 (there are only two chapters) entitled, “Executing Retarded People.” That’s some insightful stuff. I'm not ashamed to say that I cried.

No, in fact, Dave doesn’t win that book because, sadly, I made it up. But, Dave does win the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $56, payable in 56 bi-weekly installments (please allow 8-10 weeks for delivery). Normally I'd pay out in Canadian dollars, but those are worth more than amuuuuurican money. Thanks, Allan Greenspan, you dope.

Here are the standings as I see them for Week 3 (if you think I screwed something up, email me):

1. Dave Labowitz……..13-3
2. Bill Denton…………12-4
3. Joshu Shih…............10-6
Tyler Christofferson..10-6
Molly Mulder……….10-6
Scott Rozsa…………10-6
Zack Klein………….10-6
Jon Stover…………..10-6
Joey Bansen…………10-6
Matthew Kory……..10-6
Sandy Kory………..10-6
12. George Smith…..9-7
13. Josh Money…….8-8
Matthew “16-0” Mariam..8-8

And here are the up-to-the-minute yearly standings:

1. Dave Labowitz….35-13
2. Scott Rozsa………32-16
Zack Klein…………32-16
Matthew Kory………32-16
Sandy Kory………..32-16
6. Bill Denton……..31-17
Jon Stover………..31-17
8. Molly Mulder…..30-18
Matthew Mariam….30-18
Joey Bansen………30-18
George Smith……..30-18
Joshu Shih……….30-18
13. Tyler Christofferson…29-19
14. Josh Money…..27-21

Lots of time left, folks. Its only three weeks into the season, so just because Dave is smoking you doesn’t mean he won’t bite it in Week 11 and stupidly pick Minnesota to win on the road (Don’t do it, Dave!!).

I’ll have the schedule for Week 4 up shortly. In the meantime, just remember: I kid because I love.