Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Week 7: Results

Originally I wrote "Week 7: Resluts".

On to the pool(poop!)!

When last we left our intrepid heros - you remember, the ones with the large genitalia - they were attempting to catch my brother in the pool(poop!)!  Having a one game lead and having picked the Giants on Monday night, only one man could catch Sandy Kory. 

Josh Money was that man. 

When the Cowboys got out to a big lead early I was thinking Josh was in the Money (I'm so so sorry), but it wasn't to be.  After Tony Romo's shoulder was crushed into a fine powder (and summarily snorted) by a Giants lineman, the game got an air of inevitability about it.  Maybe it was that the Cowboys back up quarterback is John Kitna who I swear I thought was out of the league several years ago (and oddly enough may be starting for my fantasy football team this coming week).  Or maybe it was that Jerry Jones' face was stuck on the "tragedy" setting (stupid cheap batteries!).  But with each Giants touchdown the Cowboys season melted further and further away - not unlike Jones' face - and with it went Josh Money's chances to defend his Weekly Standard Prize.

That means this week's big wiener is SANDY KORY!!!  Congratulations to Sandy!  To commemorate your big victory, you win a somewhat opened package of partially cooked sausages that vaguely resemble Jerry Jones skin tone!  If you squint just right at it, you can see Jones smiling a big smile and say'n 'Hey Sandy, congratulations!  Go ahead!  Take a big bite!"  And if you do take that big bite you'll actually see him saying it before you pass out in a pool of your own vomit and other assorted bodily fluids!


Here are the Final Weekly Standings (FWS) for Week 7:

1. Sandy Kory ... 12-2
2. Robin Wood ... 11-3
3. John Weaver ... 10-4
3. Josh Money ... 10-4
5. Alex Mena ... 9-5
5. George Smith ... 9-5
5. Bill Denton ... 9-5
5. Matthew Mariam ... 9-5
5. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-5
5. Zack Klein ... 9-5
12. Joey Bansen ... 8-6
12. Matthew Kory ... 8-6
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-7
15. Jonathan Peter Andrew Herald Oregano Stover ... 0-4,567 (actually 6-8)

Week 7 created some waves in the Current Overall Standings (COS).  Zack and John have flip-flopped places at the top on the basis of Zack's sub-par week (for him - if it was me I'd be throwing a damn party) and John's strong one.  Josh Money and Alex Mena are hang'n tough at #3 and 4 respectively (I already made a New Kids On The Block joke right?).  Our big movers this week are somewhat predictably Sandy who went from 13th overall to tied for 6th and Jonathan Jackson Pierre-Gustave Toutant-Beauregard Green-Ellis Van McStover who's plunge from 7th to 13th is at least partially due to the weight of his name.

Anyway, here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 7:

1. John Weaver ... 66-38
2. Zack Klein ... 65-39
2. Josh Money ... 65-39
4. Alex Mena ... 64-40
5. Matthew Mariam ... 63-41
6. Sandy Kory ... 62-42
6. Bill Denton ... 62-42
8. George Smith ... 60-44
8. Dave Labowitz ... 60-44
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 60-44
11. Matthew Kory ... 59-45
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 58-46
13. Jonathan Horatio Granderson-Stover-Finkelsteinington Jones ... 58-46
14. Robin Wood ... 57-47
15. Joey Bansen ... 56-48

The schedule for Week 8 should be up shortly.  Congrats again to my brother, and have a great week, my peeps. 

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