Wednesday, September 13, 2006
...AS THE MORON F'S STUFF UP
When last we left MFSAFP(p!)!, Joey had won the first week of football glory and was consolidating his power to take over the whole football pool (poop!) for his own evil uses. Matt, as usual, was paralyzed with despair. Laying on the floor of his tiny tiny house, he kept crying, "What have I done? What have I done?" All seemed lost. Could anything be done to stop Evil Joey’s nefarious plans?
Just then there was a loud bang sound! What could it be? Oh, the cat farted, never mind.
But soon after that an email appeared in Matt's in-box. It was from Karl. Matt reached his tear-stained hand up off the floor and opened it. It read as follows, "You hot bitch, I'll do you like OJ did Nicole." Matt was aghast, but soon another email appeared in his in-box, also from Karl. It said, "You stupid bastard, you screwed up my picks. I won the pool, not Joey."
Matt sprunged up from the floor, hardly realizing that "sprunged” isn't a word, and rushed to the Secret Picks Vault (SPV)! Fumbling with the door, hands trembling, he kept thinking, this could be the key to stopping Joey's wicked plot to take over the Pool (poop!)! Matt broke into the vault, and suddenly it was all plain to him: the way to stop Joey was to not fuck up Karl’s picks! Matt raced back to his computer, opened the Secret Football Pool (poop!) Spreadsheet (SFP(p!)S), and removed “San Francisco” from Karl's pool (poop!). Like a flash of lighting the spreadsheet removed Joey from the top spot and added Karl! At that moment, the sun shone more brightly than it ever has before. Also, I’m a moron.
Congratulations, Karl on being the Real Weiner of Week 1, and I ask both you and Joey to please accept my humble apologies. The moral of this story is very clear to me: never vote republican.
I've gone back and changed the standings for the week in the previous post to reflect the true standings (as opposed to the Matt Screwed It Up Standings). Good luck to everyone this week.