So, remember when I was smoking all y'all? My winning percentage was 1.000, and yours was 0.000. Ah... I remember that. Well, that's not so much how it is anymore. Sadly I have returned to my rightful place, the black hole at the bottom of the standings. Still, I'll always remember my few days in the sun... [cue happy montage: footage of people dancing in the street, children eating ice cream, and the sun poking out from behind clouds all to Sheryl Crow's "Soaking Up The Sun"]
But back to reality. [induce vomiting]
Week 14 was an exercise in doing what Bill Denton did. If you followed the ways of the Denton (pronounced with a Louisiana accent thusly: Den-TONE), you were golden. If not, and I am a prime example of this, you got to eat the yucky yucky poop log. Speaking from experience, grody.
What the hell are you saying, Matty? Gosh dernit, just spit it out!
Alright, already. Bill Denton is this week's winner. In 15 games he has 14 wins, and picked Arizona tonight. Three people have 13 wins, but none of them picked San Francisco tonight so none of them can pick up a game on Bill and bring the contest to Monday Night Points. So they all lose, and Bill wins. Satisfied?
No. Eat poo.
Sorry to spoil the suspense.
I'll be back tomorrow with the final standings for Week 14 and the Current Overall standings. If your name rhymes with "Snon Clover" you probably won't be too pleased, but if your name rhymes with "Dill Turdenton" you probably will be happy. Heck, I'll probably throw in some more poop jokes to amuse and upset.
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Also, I forgot to post about how the final money will be distributed in case of a tie at the top of the standings. I'll do that this week, I promise.