Here's your Week 8 schedule. Week 8 starts at 1pm EST this Sunday, October 31. Need yr picks by then.
Denver at San Francisco
Buffalo at Kansas City
Washington at Detroit
Carolina at St. Louis
Green Bay at New York Jets
Miami at Cincinnati
Jacksonville at Dallas
Tennessee at San Diego
Minnesota at New England
Seattle at Oakland
Tampa Bay at Arizona
Pittsburgh at New Orleans
Houston at Indianapolis (Plus Total Points)
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Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Week 7: Results
Originally I wrote "Week 7: Resluts".
On to the pool(poop!)!
When last we left our intrepid heros - you remember, the ones with the large genitalia - they were attempting to catch my brother in the pool(poop!)! Having a one game lead and having picked the Giants on Monday night, only one man could catch Sandy Kory.
Josh Money was that man.
When the Cowboys got out to a big lead early I was thinking Josh was in the Money (I'm so so sorry), but it wasn't to be. After Tony Romo's shoulder was crushed into a fine powder (and summarily snorted) by a Giants lineman, the game got an air of inevitability about it. Maybe it was that the Cowboys back up quarterback is John Kitna who I swear I thought was out of the league several years ago (and oddly enough may be starting for my fantasy football team this coming week). Or maybe it was that Jerry Jones' face was stuck on the "tragedy" setting (stupid cheap batteries!). But with each Giants touchdown the Cowboys season melted further and further away - not unlike Jones' face - and with it went Josh Money's chances to defend his Weekly Standard Prize.
That means this week's big wiener is SANDY KORY!!! Congratulations to Sandy! To commemorate your big victory, you win a somewhat opened package of partially cooked sausages that vaguely resemble Jerry Jones skin tone! If you squint just right at it, you can see Jones smiling a big smile and say'n 'Hey Sandy, congratulations! Go ahead! Take a big bite!" And if you do take that big bite you'll actually see him saying it before you pass out in a pool of your own vomit and other assorted bodily fluids!
Congratulations!
Here are the Final Weekly Standings (FWS) for Week 7:
1. Sandy Kory ... 12-2
2. Robin Wood ... 11-3
3. John Weaver ... 10-4
3. Josh Money ... 10-4
5. Alex Mena ... 9-5
5. George Smith ... 9-5
5. Bill Denton ... 9-5
5. Matthew Mariam ... 9-5
5. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-5
5. Zack Klein ... 9-5
12. Joey Bansen ... 8-6
12. Matthew Kory ... 8-6
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-7
15. Jonathan Peter Andrew Herald Oregano Stover ... 0-4,567 (actually 6-8)
Week 7 created some waves in the Current Overall Standings (COS). Zack and John have flip-flopped places at the top on the basis of Zack's sub-par week (for him - if it was me I'd be throwing a damn party) and John's strong one. Josh Money and Alex Mena are hang'n tough at #3 and 4 respectively (I already made a New Kids On The Block joke right?). Our big movers this week are somewhat predictably Sandy who went from 13th overall to tied for 6th and Jonathan Jackson Pierre-Gustave Toutant-Beauregard Green-Ellis Van McStover who's plunge from 7th to 13th is at least partially due to the weight of his name.
Anyway, here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 7:
1. John Weaver ... 66-38
2. Zack Klein ... 65-39
2. Josh Money ... 65-39
4. Alex Mena ... 64-40
5. Matthew Mariam ... 63-41
6. Sandy Kory ... 62-42
6. Bill Denton ... 62-42
8. George Smith ... 60-44
8. Dave Labowitz ... 60-44
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 60-44
11. Matthew Kory ... 59-45
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 58-46
13. Jonathan Horatio Granderson-Stover-Finkelsteinington Jones ... 58-46
14. Robin Wood ... 57-47
15. Joey Bansen ... 56-48
The schedule for Week 8 should be up shortly. Congrats again to my brother, and have a great week, my peeps.
.
On to the pool(poop!)!
When last we left our intrepid heros - you remember, the ones with the large genitalia - they were attempting to catch my brother in the pool(poop!)! Having a one game lead and having picked the Giants on Monday night, only one man could catch Sandy Kory.
Josh Money was that man.
When the Cowboys got out to a big lead early I was thinking Josh was in the Money (I'm so so sorry), but it wasn't to be. After Tony Romo's shoulder was crushed into a fine powder (and summarily snorted) by a Giants lineman, the game got an air of inevitability about it. Maybe it was that the Cowboys back up quarterback is John Kitna who I swear I thought was out of the league several years ago (and oddly enough may be starting for my fantasy football team this coming week). Or maybe it was that Jerry Jones' face was stuck on the "tragedy" setting (stupid cheap batteries!). But with each Giants touchdown the Cowboys season melted further and further away - not unlike Jones' face - and with it went Josh Money's chances to defend his Weekly Standard Prize.
That means this week's big wiener is SANDY KORY!!! Congratulations to Sandy! To commemorate your big victory, you win a somewhat opened package of partially cooked sausages that vaguely resemble Jerry Jones skin tone! If you squint just right at it, you can see Jones smiling a big smile and say'n 'Hey Sandy, congratulations! Go ahead! Take a big bite!" And if you do take that big bite you'll actually see him saying it before you pass out in a pool of your own vomit and other assorted bodily fluids!
Congratulations!
Here are the Final Weekly Standings (FWS) for Week 7:
1. Sandy Kory ... 12-2
2. Robin Wood ... 11-3
3. John Weaver ... 10-4
3. Josh Money ... 10-4
5. Alex Mena ... 9-5
5. George Smith ... 9-5
5. Bill Denton ... 9-5
5. Matthew Mariam ... 9-5
5. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-5
5. Zack Klein ... 9-5
12. Joey Bansen ... 8-6
12. Matthew Kory ... 8-6
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-7
15. Jonathan Peter Andrew Herald Oregano Stover ... 0-4,567 (actually 6-8)
Week 7 created some waves in the Current Overall Standings (COS). Zack and John have flip-flopped places at the top on the basis of Zack's sub-par week (for him - if it was me I'd be throwing a damn party) and John's strong one. Josh Money and Alex Mena are hang'n tough at #3 and 4 respectively (I already made a New Kids On The Block joke right?). Our big movers this week are somewhat predictably Sandy who went from 13th overall to tied for 6th and Jonathan Jackson Pierre-Gustave Toutant-Beauregard Green-Ellis Van McStover who's plunge from 7th to 13th is at least partially due to the weight of his name.
Anyway, here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 7:
1. John Weaver ... 66-38
2. Zack Klein ... 65-39
2. Josh Money ... 65-39
4. Alex Mena ... 64-40
5. Matthew Mariam ... 63-41
6. Sandy Kory ... 62-42
6. Bill Denton ... 62-42
8. George Smith ... 60-44
8. Dave Labowitz ... 60-44
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 60-44
11. Matthew Kory ... 59-45
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 58-46
13. Jonathan Horatio Granderson-Stover-Finkelsteinington Jones ... 58-46
14. Robin Wood ... 57-47
15. Joey Bansen ... 56-48
The schedule for Week 8 should be up shortly. Congrats again to my brother, and have a great week, my peeps.
.
Week 7: Update 2
Sorry folks, I like to have the results up by Tuesday morning but circumstances have dictated that its going to be a bit later. I hope to have the results and the schedule for Week 8 up by tonight. Sorry for the delay.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Week 7: Update
Wow, was Week 7 a strange week. There were crazy comebacks (Cincy versus Atlanta), re-comebacks (Atlanta versus Cincy), and almost comebacks (Min versus GB). The Redskins and Bears turned the ball over seven times... in the second half. Oakland threatened to be the first team in a while to score over 70 points, but leading 59-14 after three quarters they called off the dogs. There were huge upsets (Cleveland over New Orleans?), and almost upsets (Buffalo losing in OT to Baltimore).
But you knew all that already. How did it impact the pool(poop)? Well, lemme tell ya like this.
Going into Monday night, we have one person with 11 wins, and two with ten. Sandy Kory, my brother, has 11 wins, while Robin Wood (in her best showing so far!) and Josh Money have 10. Sadly for Robin, she picked the same team to win on Monday night - the Giants - that Sandy picked, so she can't make up the necessary game and therefore can't win this week.
Josh went with the Cowboys however so should Dallas win Josh and Sandy will be tied. If that happens, it'll come down to Monday Night Points (MNP!)!
In that case, Josh is in luck this week, because my brother, beinga funny guy an idiot, picked 87 total points! Ha Ha! Hilarious! If you find fucking yourself out of $70 is hilarious.*
*For the record, fucking yourself out of $70 is hilarious.
Josh picked 50 points, but it doesn't really matter. If the Giants win Sandy will have 12 wins and will be crowned this week's big wiener despite actually being a moron. If Dallas wins and the total score is 86 or under, Josh Money will have successfully defended his crown. Just to be clear, if Dallas wins 48-28, Josh will win the pool and my brother will win a swift kick to the groinal region.
Best of luck to you both!
.
But you knew all that already. How did it impact the pool(poop)? Well, lemme tell ya like this.
Going into Monday night, we have one person with 11 wins, and two with ten. Sandy Kory, my brother, has 11 wins, while Robin Wood (in her best showing so far!) and Josh Money have 10. Sadly for Robin, she picked the same team to win on Monday night - the Giants - that Sandy picked, so she can't make up the necessary game and therefore can't win this week.
Josh went with the Cowboys however so should Dallas win Josh and Sandy will be tied. If that happens, it'll come down to Monday Night Points (MNP!)!
In that case, Josh is in luck this week, because my brother, being
*For the record, fucking yourself out of $70 is hilarious.
Josh picked 50 points, but it doesn't really matter. If the Giants win Sandy will have 12 wins and will be crowned this week's big wiener despite actually being a moron. If Dallas wins and the total score is 86 or under, Josh Money will have successfully defended his crown. Just to be clear, if Dallas wins 48-28, Josh will win the pool and my brother will win a swift kick to the groinal region.
Best of luck to you both!
.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Week 7: Schedule
Week 7 starts this coming Sunday, October 24th at 1pm EST (that's 10am PST for those of who live out west). Be sure to get your picks to me by then.
Cincinnati at Atlanta
Buffalo at Baltimore
Cleveland at New Orleans
San Francisco at Carolina
Philadelphia at Tennessee
St. Louis at Tampa Bay
Washington at Chicago
Jacksonville at Kansas City
Pittsburg at Miami
Arizona at Seattle
New England at San Diego
Oakland at Denver
Minnesota at Green Bay
NY "Anne Geddes Makes Me Puke" Giants at Dallas (plus total points)
.
Cincinnati at Atlanta
Buffalo at Baltimore
Cleveland at New Orleans
San Francisco at Carolina
Philadelphia at Tennessee
St. Louis at Tampa Bay
Washington at Chicago
Jacksonville at Kansas City
Pittsburg at Miami
Arizona at Seattle
New England at San Diego
Oakland at Denver
Minnesota at Green Bay
NY "Anne Geddes Makes Me Puke" Giants at Dallas (plus total points)
.
Week 6: Results
Its time, once again, to go deep deep, possibly a bit too deep inside the NFL.
For us prognosticators, Week 6 was a tough nut to crack. What with all the parity going on and all, who can say what is going to happen? I mean, really, who's better, Detroit or the New York "Hanky Panky Skanky" Giants? Any time over the last 30 years that would be a silly question to ask, but this season the Lions hung with the Giants. Same with my Redskins and the Colts. Pick any random point over the last decade including any time during the off season or when Peyton Manning was taking a dump, and the Colts still would've killed the Redskins. This season it was a one field goal game. Throw two overtime games into the mix and its all a total crapshoot. At least that's what I'm telling myself after going 7-7 this week. This week's winner may beg to differ.
Say, that reminds me, who did win Week 6 here at MFSAFP(p!)!? In the words of Buckwheat, lets take a listen! When last we spoke we had, lets say, a two and a half person race. On one hand we had Matthew Mariam and Josh Money and their ten wins apiece. On the other we had John Weaver, his nine wins and his crazy pick of Jacksonville to win the Monday nighter. John was the only one in the entire pool to pick Jacksonville, and you know what happens when you go out on a limb like that? That's right, the entire pool takes a stinky dump on your head. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
The final score of the Monday night game was 30-3, but unfortunately for John, it wasn't as close as the score indicated. In a game that was a huge mismatch from the coin flip (Tennessee had the call and picked "land on its side") the Flaming Thumbtacks whipping the ever-lov'n sheet out of Jacksonville in front of approximately seven people, four of whom were contractually obligated to attend.
But back to the Pool(poop!)! As you may remember, if Tennessee won and the score was 42 or less, Josh Money was this week's big weiner, and low and behold that's exactly what happened! Fantastic prognostication! An extra hearty and capitalized Congratulations to Josh Moneywho has graciously agreed to donate his entire weekly winnings to the Our Lady Of Perpetual Sorrow church! (editor's note: sorry Josh, we got our wires crossed a bit on that one)
So good job to Josh. You win this week's Weekly Standard Prize, which through a hilarious Wall Street trick, has been combined with the WSP for Weeks 8, 13 and 15, cut into a thousand little bits and sold to Chinese fur traders in Pakistan. Enjoy!
Here are the final standings for Week 6.
1. Josh Money ... 11-3
1. Matthew Mariam ... 11-3
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 10-4
4. Bill Denton ... 9-5
4. Joey Bansen ... 9-5
4. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
4. John Weaver ... 9-5
4. Gedeon Mariam ... 9-5
9. Jon Stover ... 8-6
9. Sandy Kory ... 8-6
9. Robin Wood ... 8-6
9. Zack Klein ... 8-6
13. Alex Mena ... 7-7
13. George Smith ... 7-7
13. Matthew Kory ... 7-7
We now move on to the Current Overall Standings, where we find Zack Klein, much like '80s boy band New Kids on the Block, Hang'n Tough in the top spot. But its not all Klein all the time. Nope, Zack has company now with John Weaver, who I'd like to point out would be all alone in first if he hadn't picked Jacksonville to win tonight. Good call on that one, John! That said, those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and those who life in what is essentially a tie for twelfth place - such as myself - shouldn't talk shit lest they get some of the shit smeared on their face by someone who is bigger stronger and smarter than them. In a related story, I love John Weaver!
And now its time for the Obligatory Dave Labowitz Joke Of The Week! (ODLJOTW!)! I have to admit going into this year my only goal was to keep up with Dave Labowitz. In the words of a great American, Mission Accomplished!
Here are the Current Overall Standings through Week 6:
1. Zack Klein ... 56-34
1. John Weaver ... 56-34
3. Josh Money ... 55-35
4. Alex Mena ... 54-36
4. Matthew Mariam ... 54-36
6. Bill Denton ... 53-37
7. Jon Stover ... 52-38
8. Gedeon Mariam ... 51-39
8. Matthew Kory ... 51-39
8. Dave Labowitz ... 51-39
8. George Smith ... 51-39
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 51-39
13. Sandy Kory ... 50-40
14. Joey Bansen ... 48-42
15. Robin Wood ... 46-44
Congrats again to Josh, who I was rooting for because Matthew Mariam had the gall, the sheer chutzpah, to tie me in fantasy football .*shakes fist violently* I'll get you, Mariam, if its the last thing I do!
The schedule for Week 7 will be up shortly. Enjoy your week, everyone.
.
For us prognosticators, Week 6 was a tough nut to crack. What with all the parity going on and all, who can say what is going to happen? I mean, really, who's better, Detroit or the New York "Hanky Panky Skanky" Giants? Any time over the last 30 years that would be a silly question to ask, but this season the Lions hung with the Giants. Same with my Redskins and the Colts. Pick any random point over the last decade including any time during the off season or when Peyton Manning was taking a dump, and the Colts still would've killed the Redskins. This season it was a one field goal game. Throw two overtime games into the mix and its all a total crapshoot. At least that's what I'm telling myself after going 7-7 this week. This week's winner may beg to differ.
Say, that reminds me, who did win Week 6 here at MFSAFP(p!)!? In the words of Buckwheat, lets take a listen! When last we spoke we had, lets say, a two and a half person race. On one hand we had Matthew Mariam and Josh Money and their ten wins apiece. On the other we had John Weaver, his nine wins and his crazy pick of Jacksonville to win the Monday nighter. John was the only one in the entire pool to pick Jacksonville, and you know what happens when you go out on a limb like that? That's right, the entire pool takes a stinky dump on your head. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
The final score of the Monday night game was 30-3, but unfortunately for John, it wasn't as close as the score indicated. In a game that was a huge mismatch from the coin flip (Tennessee had the call and picked "land on its side") the Flaming Thumbtacks whipping the ever-lov'n sheet out of Jacksonville in front of approximately seven people, four of whom were contractually obligated to attend.
But back to the Pool(poop!)! As you may remember, if Tennessee won and the score was 42 or less, Josh Money was this week's big weiner, and low and behold that's exactly what happened! Fantastic prognostication! An extra hearty and capitalized Congratulations to Josh Money
So good job to Josh. You win this week's Weekly Standard Prize, which through a hilarious Wall Street trick, has been combined with the WSP for Weeks 8, 13 and 15, cut into a thousand little bits and sold to Chinese fur traders in Pakistan. Enjoy!
Here are the final standings for Week 6.
1. Josh Money ... 11-3
1. Matthew Mariam ... 11-3
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 10-4
4. Bill Denton ... 9-5
4. Joey Bansen ... 9-5
4. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
4. John Weaver ... 9-5
4. Gedeon Mariam ... 9-5
9. Jon Stover ... 8-6
9. Sandy Kory ... 8-6
9. Robin Wood ... 8-6
9. Zack Klein ... 8-6
13. Alex Mena ... 7-7
13. George Smith ... 7-7
13. Matthew Kory ... 7-7
We now move on to the Current Overall Standings, where we find Zack Klein, much like '80s boy band New Kids on the Block, Hang'n Tough in the top spot. But its not all Klein all the time. Nope, Zack has company now with John Weaver, who I'd like to point out would be all alone in first if he hadn't picked Jacksonville to win tonight. Good call on that one, John! That said, those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones and those who life in what is essentially a tie for twelfth place - such as myself - shouldn't talk shit lest they get some of the shit smeared on their face by someone who is bigger stronger and smarter than them. In a related story, I love John Weaver!
And now its time for the Obligatory Dave Labowitz Joke Of The Week! (ODLJOTW!)! I have to admit going into this year my only goal was to keep up with Dave Labowitz. In the words of a great American, Mission Accomplished!
Here are the Current Overall Standings through Week 6:
1. Zack Klein ... 56-34
1. John Weaver ... 56-34
3. Josh Money ... 55-35
4. Alex Mena ... 54-36
4. Matthew Mariam ... 54-36
6. Bill Denton ... 53-37
7. Jon Stover ... 52-38
8. Gedeon Mariam ... 51-39
8. Matthew Kory ... 51-39
8. Dave Labowitz ... 51-39
8. George Smith ... 51-39
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 51-39
13. Sandy Kory ... 50-40
14. Joey Bansen ... 48-42
15. Robin Wood ... 46-44
Congrats again to Josh, who I was rooting for because Matthew Mariam had the gall, the sheer chutzpah, to tie me in fantasy football .*shakes fist violently* I'll get you, Mariam, if its the last thing I do!
The schedule for Week 7 will be up shortly. Enjoy your week, everyone.
.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Week 6: Update
I'm not a Peyton Manning hater. Some people are, but I'm not. I mean, he's just an incredible quarterback. And as a Redskins fan I get abused by him so infrequently that I can actually appreciate him. That said, with the clock stopped, a minute left in the game which is effectively over, and everyone knowing you're going to run the dam ball, do you have to do the stupid ass leg pump four times then run around in circles pointing at invisible animals?
Week 6! Here after known as The Week I Didn't Do Very Well In! Which, as you'll notice, does not distinguish it from four of the previous five weeks!
Fifteen entered, but only three remain. Yes, Week 6 has come down to three people. Matthew Mariam and Josh "I'm the" Money both have 10 wins and Tennessee for the Monday nighter. The ever pesky John Weaver has 9 wins and inexplicably picked Jacksonville. (Seriously, you know they blow, right John?) If Jacksonville wins John, Matthew, and Josh will all have 10 wins. If Tennessee wins, Josh and Matthew will be on top the totem pole with 11 wins each. Here's how it breaks down.
If Jacksonville wins...
It'll come down to Monday Night Points! Josh picked 37, John picked 42 and Matthew picked *drum roll* 43. Meaning, John's F'd . If the total score is between 0 and 41, Josh wins. If it's 42 on the nose John wins, and if its 43 or over Matthew wins.
If Tennessee wins...
It'll come down to Monday Night Points! If the total score is between 0 and 42 Josh will win. If its 43 or greater Matthew will win.
That's it from the republic of Portland. Good luck to all involved. Stay tuned for the Weekly Report which'll happen tomorrow night if I can sleep this one off.
F THE COLTS!!!
.
Week 6! Here after known as The Week I Didn't Do Very Well In! Which, as you'll notice, does not distinguish it from four of the previous five weeks!
Fifteen entered, but only three remain. Yes, Week 6 has come down to three people. Matthew Mariam and Josh "I'm the" Money both have 10 wins and Tennessee for the Monday nighter. The ever pesky John Weaver has 9 wins and inexplicably picked Jacksonville. (Seriously, you know they blow, right John?) If Jacksonville wins John, Matthew, and Josh will all have 10 wins. If Tennessee wins, Josh and Matthew will be on top the totem pole with 11 wins each. Here's how it breaks down.
If Jacksonville wins...
It'll come down to Monday Night Points! Josh picked 37, John picked 42 and Matthew picked *drum roll* 43. Meaning, John's F'd . If the total score is between 0 and 41, Josh wins. If it's 42 on the nose John wins, and if its 43 or over Matthew wins.
If Tennessee wins...
It'll come down to Monday Night Points! If the total score is between 0 and 42 Josh will win. If its 43 or greater Matthew will win.
That's it from the republic of Portland. Good luck to all involved. Stay tuned for the Weekly Report which'll happen tomorrow night if I can sleep this one off.
F THE COLTS!!!
.
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