Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Week 6: Results

The only chance I have of winning this pool(poop!) is if you all contract African Butt Flu. Fortunately for you and unfortunately for me no such disease exists. Also I've been dealing with this super itchy... wait.  Never mind.

As for Week 6, well, what can we say about it that hasn't already been said of Mike Tyson. It was short, angry, and kicked my ass. About the best thing I can say about Week 6 is I don't have a face tattoo because of it. Also I've heard they've made lots of progress removing tattoos of tinkerbell on people's lower backs. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

Week 6 proves that a good half the pool(poop!) has this thing figured out. Ten people went at least 9-4 and nobody did worse than 7-6 (you're welcome). You'll recall after Jon Stover moronically snuffed out his one game lead by betting on Minnesota to win on Sunday night, there were three of you who had a shot at the fame, the glory, the certain-to-be-inscribed-on-your-tombstone wonder that is winning the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). That would be Jon Stover, Josh Money, and Joey Bansen. Apparently if your first name didn't begin with "J" then F off.

Since everyone picked the Jets to win (which they did), it was gonna come down to Monday Night Points (MNP). If the total points totaled under 40 then Josh Money would be this week's big wiener. The total points were 30, which when you break out your abacus (and then your dictionary to find out how to spell "abacus"), you'll realize after about 40 minutes of bead moving fun that 30 is indeed less than 40. This immutable mathematical fact makes Josh Money this week's big wiener!

Congratulations, Josh! You win two tickets to see Lance Bass's new boy band, Heart2Heart, open for some crappy UB40 cover band! (Seriously, check this shit out and tell me if these guys are serious or if this is some fucking joke.) No, sadly, Heart2Heart isn't touring now, so we'll just send you the WSP instead. Your loss assuming you like really crappy music.

Here is how Week 6 played itself out.

1. Josh Money ... 11-2
1. Jon Stover ... 11-2
1. Joey Bansen ... 11-2
4. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-3
4. Sandy Kory ... 10-3
4. Matthew Mariam ... 10-3
7. Dave Labowitz .. 9-4
7. George Smith ... 9-4
7. Karl Vaillancourt .. 9-4
7. John Weaver ... 9-4
7. Zack Klein ... 9-4
12. Paddy Althoff ... 8-5
12. Adam Roy ... 8-5
12. Robin Wood ... 8-5
12. Bill Denton ... 8-5
12. Christine Roberts ... 8-5
17. Ryan Schultz ... 7-6
17. Matthew Kory ... 7-6

As for the Current Overall Standings (COS), well nothing super new to report. Karl Vaillancourt is still kicking everyone's collective ass. Dave Labowitz is still kicking everyone's collective ass except Karl Vaillancourt's, and then we have John Weaver, Zack Klein and everyone else. In other news, I've now cemented my shoes. Yes, I managed to finish in last in both the weekly standings and the COS. Oh God this is so humiliating.


1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 68
2. Dave Labowitz ... 65
3. John Weaver ... 64
4. Zack Klein ... 62
4. Matthew Mariam ... 62
6. Joey Bansen ... 62
7. Robin Wood ... 60
7. Ryan Schultz ... 60
9. Josh Money ... 59
9. Sandy Kory ... 59
11. Gedeon Mariam ... 58
11. George Smith ... 58
13. Paddy Althoff ... 57
13. Jon Stover ... 57
15. Adam Roy ... 55
15. Bill Denton ... 55
17. Christine Roberts ... 54
17. Matthew Kory ... 54

Congrats again to Josh. The schedule for Week 7 will be up shortly. Enjoy your week everyone.

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