Monday, October 26, 2009

Week 7: Update: Don't Worry, I Still Suck

Last night I spoke with pool(poop!) participant Bill Denton on the phone. We had a nice gentlemanly conversation wherein he accused me of having sex with furniture and I countered by claiming that it was consensual. (It wasn't! Shhhh!)

Of course we also discussed the pool(poop!)! and the fact that Bill is one of the people who is in the running for the WSP this week. I claimed that he was a shoe-in to win this week for reasons I'll get to. Bill claimed that even if it seemed so, his typically abominable luck would do him in. Ever known someone who could get hit with a piano while standing in the middle of a cornfield? Bill's your man. Will Bill's luck hold out, or will the WSP slip through his chicken-stained (?) fingers yet again? Tune in right now to find out!!

To the update!

There was consensus on many games this week. Everyone picked the Charges, Patriots, Colts, and Jets to win. Only one person picked against the Saints, Texans, and Packers. So there's a lot of parity this week.

Heck, even yours truly is 8-4, which gives you the lower bounds of performance this week. The upper bound is ten wins, which four people have. We'll get to the weekly standings tomorrow, but for now things look like this:

10 Wins: Bill Denton, Joey Bansen, Alex Mena, and Sandy Kory
Picked Philly to win tonight: Bill & Joey
Picked Washington to win tonight and should see a doctor immediately: Sandy & Alex

If Philly wins tonight, Bill wins the pool because Joey did not send in his Monday Night Points on time. Sorry Joey. I wish I could accept the points, but it just ain't fair to the other kids.

If Washington wins tonight, well, I'll shit a brick. Then I'll put on my "Brad Johnson" jersey, the one with the duct tape over "Johnson" on the back, and run around my neighborhood until I'm beaten within inches of my life, or for a minute, which ever happens first. But if a whole in the earth swallows the Eagles and the Redskins win, then the total point breakdown looks thusly:

Sandy: 30 points
Alex: 31 points

So, if DC wins tonight and if the total score is 0-30, Sandy will win the WSP. If DC wins and the total score is 31 or above, Alex will win.

But neither of you peeps has a chance cause there isn't a chance in hell that the Redskins... HEY!! WATCH OUT!!! PIANO!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Back tomorrow with the final standings for the week, the Current Overall Standings (COS) and a bunch of other garbage you'll probably just skip over.

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