Week 5: Results

Week 5 is in the books, and as I said yesterday, we all got thoroughly dominated by one man. Who is that (masked? pantless?) man?

I'm going to make you wait a few more seconds for the answer. First a note. Last week my brother failed to send in his picks. That's always been a tough thing for me to handle. You want to balance kindness - sometimes for whatever reason it's hard to get your picks in on time - to the individual with understanding for the others in the pool(poop!) who did send their picks in on time. The thing is though, $125 is real money. It's not thousands of dollars, and most of us come out only a few dollars up or down over the course of the year, but I don't pretend that it isn't important.

So, when someone is late with their picks or doesn't send them in at all, I've tried a bunch of different tactics to penalize them without ruining their whole season in one foul swoop. One year I tried automatically giving that person the favorites. And one person actually won a week that way, which made me re-think that rule, as well as spawning the "you can't win a week if you don't turn in your picks" rule. One year I tried just giving the home teams automatically. But again, depending on the week by not turning in your picks you can end up with a better record than someone who didt turn in their picks. Not fair, says I.

Which, two paragraphs in, brings me to my point. This year I've been giving the worst record accumulated that week to people who fail to get their picks in on time. Last week my brother forgot to send in his picks. But the worst record was 9-5, so my brother got a 9-5 record. Whew, he dodged a bullet there. Better get your head out of your butt and recognize.

So, this week, again, my brother didn't turn in his picks. He called just after wards to apologize, but it was too late. So this time I didn't want to leave it up to chance. He gots ta pay. So I took it upon myself to make sure he got a much worse record this week.

This all by way of saying when you are looking at the weekly standings and you see me at the very bottom, you can know that I did it for you. For you. For you...

So, to this week's Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) winner... John Weaver! You win a red snapper!

OK, Weaver, listen carefully! You can hold on to your red snapper, or you can go for whats in the box that Hiro-san is bringing down the isle right now!

Uh... I'll take whats in the box! I'll take the box!

You'll take the box... OK, now let's see what's in the box...[top of box is removed]... Nothing! Nothing! Absolutely nothing! ... STUPID! YOU SO STUPID!!!

Final standings for Week 5:

1. John Weaver ... 11-3
2. Jon Stover ... 10-4 (How's that Tennessee pick looking now, Jon? You'd have won by MNP.)
2. Joey Bansen ... 10-4
2. Dan Sinclair ... 10-4
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-5
5. Josh Money ... 9-5
5. Bill Denton ... 9-5
5. Matthew Mariam ... 9-5
5. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
5. Adam Roy ... 9-5 (Last week you bet on the Redskins, huh?)
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 9-5
5. George Smith ... 9-5
13. Alex Mena ... 8-6
14. Zack Klein ... 7-7
15. Sandy Kory ... 6-8
15. Matt Kory ... 6-8 (You're welcome)

Current Overall Standings (COS):

1. Gedeon Mariam ... 57-19
2. John Weaver ... 54-22
3. Adam Roy ... 53-23
3. Jon Stover ... 53-23
3. Joey Bansen ... 53-23
3. Bill Denton ... 53-23
7. Dan Sinclair ... 52-24
8. George Smith ... 51-25
8. Karl Vaillancourt ... 51-25
8. Josh Money ... 51-25
8. Dave Labowitz ... 51-25
12. Alex Mena ... 50-26
13. Zack Klein ... 48-28
13. Matthew Mariam ... 48-28
15. Sandy Kory ... 45-31
15. Matt Kory ... 45-31 (Don't come down to my hood and try pushin. I'll make you taste tha pain, son.)

Week 6 will begin at 1pm EST this Sunday afternoon. Have a great week, peeps, and congratulations to John Weaver. Week 6 schedule up shortly...