Happy f'n Monday to ya. This week I hope we all learned a valuable lesson: never ever ever ever ever pick the Washington Redskins to win a football game. Never never never ever. This is your brain, this is your brain after picking the Washington Redskins to win a football game. Any questions?
To the pool(poop!)!
Because Alex Mena and I both totally blow, we decided to team up this week. That's right folks, we've got you out numbered. Between my six wins and his five, we've got 11 which is four more than anyone else has. Yay! We win! We kicked y'all's arse!
... Wait... I'm hearing I can't do that. Damn! I don't remember making up that rule... well poop.
You'll find that this week's update is entirely different and far more confusing than last week when we were all taken out to the woodshed by John Weaver. That is proverbially speaking of course, as John is a good and decent citizen of this country who would never, ever take anything out to the woodshed. Except wood. And that guy who said that thing in high school. And that hot chick. But that was purely consensual. His lawyers swear.
This week we've got three people with nine wins so far. But, those peeps, Bill Denton, Joey Bansen, and Dave "Dollars" Labowitz, all picked Denver to win tonight. If Denver wins, it'll come down to those three peeps, but if not, Gedeon Mariam, George Smith, and Josh Money will all be there to pick up the slack. All of them have eight wins and picked San Diego to win tonight. (Full disclosure: I also picked San Diego to win so San Diego has no chance to win.)
So here's the duel break down. Prepare yourself for some serious breaking down... well that didn't come out right. Moving on.
If Denver wins, the point break down is as follows:
Dave - 35 - wins if total score is 37 or below
Bill - 38 - wins if total score is exactly 38, 39, or 40 (you're f'd Bill)
Joey - 41 - wins if total score is 41 or over
Remember folks, you can still win the pool if you lose the Monday Night game. So, if San Diego wins (won't happen) we've got six people in the running. Here's the point break down:
Dave - 35 - wins if total is between 0 and 37
Bill - 38 - never wins no matter what. if points total 38, 39, or 40, splits WSP with Josh.
Josh - 38 - see "Bill"
Joey - 41 - never wins no matter what. if points are between 41 and 55, splits WSP with George.
George - 41 - see "Joey"
Gedeon - 56 - if points total 56 or more, wins again, buys expensive house in the Hamptons, employs half the state as butlers.
You people are some seriously uncreative point pickers.* I tried to come up with a second tie-breaker, but nooooooooooooooooooooo idontwantitidontwantitnonononononononitsnotfairitsnotfairjonstovereatspoopjonstovereatspoopwaaaahhhhh!!!!
Good luck, happy Monday, and I'll be back tomorrow with the Week 6 results and the schedule for Week 7.
*I, also, picked 41.