Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Week 4: Results

Another week in the books, folks. As they say over at ye olde anal farm, "Ewww... no WAY I'm cleaning that up."

It was an action packed Monday Night game as we had five people vying for the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). The action turned on lots of exciting plays. Like that time the Vikings guy had the ball and he scored. Whoo! Or that time the other guy had the ball and he did that thing and then he went to the place. Amazing! If I hadn't been sleeping at the time I could probably provide more details, but no matter. I awoke certain that the Packers had won and I had won my first week. Alas, no. Have I mentioned I suck in other areas of life as well?

But back to the pool(poop!). This week did turn out to be momentous in the long and storied history of MTAFP(p!), which was actually started by George Washington in 1803, four years after his death. (In his defense, being dead is probably pretty boring.) It was the very first time in over 200 years of football pools (the first ~125 years of which featured no actual football) that there was a tie.

Yes, a tie. Even the NHL abolished ties a few years back, I know, and honestly I tried to come up with other tie-breakers, but neither participant would submit to the naked full-body cavity searches necessary. So, a tie is what we've got. Which means that Josh Money and Adam Roy will split a WSP, which actually makes it Half A Weekly Standard Prize (HAWSP).

Unfortunately, this week's winner receives a blowjob from Haroldette, the she-male. I have no idea how you two are going to split this one up. Have fun though.

But on the bright side, peeps, at least Gedeon Mariam didn't win, eh?

Here are the final standings for Week 4:

1. Adam Roy...12-2
1. Josh Money...12-2
1. Bill Denton...12-2
1. Gedeon Mariam...12-2 (Ha ha! You didn't win, Gedeon! HA HA YOU SUCK!!)
5. DAMMIT!!!...11-3
5. Dave Labowitz...11-3
5. John Weaver...11-3
5. Karl Vaillancourt...11-3
5. Alex Mena...11-3
5. Joey Bansen...11-3
5. Jon Stover...11-3
12. Zack Klein...10-4
12. Dan Sinclair...10-4
14. George Smith...9-5
14. Matthew Mariam...9-5
14. Sandy Kory...9-5

And the Current Overall Standings (COS):

1. Gedeon Mariam ... 48-14 (For the record, that's a 77% winning percentage, 12% higher than last pool's winner. The kids call it "kicking ass".)
2. Adam Roy ... 44-18
2. Bill Denton ... 44-18
4. John Weaver ... 43-19
4. Joey Bansen ... 43-19
4. Jon Stover ... 43-19
7. Alex Mena ... 42-20
7. Josh Money ... 42-20
7. Karl Vaillancourt ... 42-20
7. George Smith ... 42-20
7. Dan Sinclair ... 42-20
7. Dave Labowitz ... 42-20
13. Zack Klein ... 41-21
14. Matthew Mariam ... 39-23
14. Sandy Kory ... 39-23
14. MEDAMMIT ... 39-23 (The kids call this "getting your ass kicked".)

Week 5 will begin at the normal time, 1PM EST this Sunday. Don't forget, peeps, I need all of your picks in by that time to be eligible for the WSP. If your picks are late, you're going to automatically get the worst record posted that week. So, don't forget. Put a reminder in your iPhone, your BlackBerry, or what ever you use to remind yourself of things. I don't mean to be a dick about it, but there is real money at stake here, and the vast majority of it isn't mine.

Week 5 schedule to come. Have a great week, and congrats to Adam and Josh.


Adam said...

I believe that I did not say that I was against a secondary tie breaker... ;-)

Liberator713 said...

....and on the oustside moving to the front, It's Mad Mexican.....jumping from 12th to 7th....watch folks here he comes...hotter than a Heckle & Jeckle 'Red Hot Tamale'......