Tuesday, October 09, 2007

WEEK 5: WHY GEORGE HATES NICK FOLK

Tied going into Monday Night Football, the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $56 would come down to total points. Molly picked 48 points. George picked under that. If the final score was 48 or over, Molly won the WSP. If it was under, George won.

After being intercepted five times, losing a fumble and trailing the entire game, Dallas QB Tony Romo hit Patrick Crayton with a 4-yard TD pass with 20 seconds left on the clock, to cap an 80 yard drive and to bring the team within 2. This made the score 24-22 (46 total points for those who can't count). If Dallas hit the two point conversion, the total points would reach 48 and Molly would win the WSP. If not, Molly would be over and George would win.

The crowd rose and roared in anticipation. Romo dropped back to pass, looked left, and hit Terrell Owens in the left side of the end zone for two points! Molly wins! But, as Owens was coming down, Jabari Greer stripped him of the ball and it fell to the ground, incomplete! The point total holds at 46 and George wins!

But, not so fast.

There were still about 30 seconds left on the clock. The Cowboys tried an on-side kick and recovered it at the 50 yard line. Then there were 20 seconds left, and the Cowboys had no time outs and the ball on the 50.

Romo hit T.O. over the middle for a 20 yard completion to bring the Cowboys into field goal range, but the officials looked a replay and ruled correctly that Owens had dropped the ball as he was being tackled. George Wins!!... uh, not yet.

So Romo threw two quick dump offs totaling about 12 yards, and with 1 second left on the clock, Dallas kicker Nick Folk came on for a 53 yard field goal. ...aaaaaaaaaand He nailed it! 49 points! Cowboys and Molly win! Bills and George Lose!

Not so fast.

Bills head coach Dump McCrotch had called a timeout nanoseconds before Folk hit the field goal. Thats right, McCrotch had pulled a Shanahan. Properly rattled and iced, there was no way Folk would hit another 53 yarder in Buffalo with a crazy crowd screaming at him. George would surely wi.... NO! Folk hit that one too!

49 Points!!!
Molly Wins!!!
Molly Wins!!!
Holly poop on a stick, Molly Wins!!!

So, a hearty congrats to Molly on her second win of the season. She wins an official Rudy Guiliani "Vote 9/11!" poster signed by Guiliani himself! Or, as I like to refer to it, toilet paper. Congrats, Molly, and I'll be sending you your "toilet paper" in the mail any day now.

Ahh... if only. No, sadly Molly only wins the WSP.

Folks, through five weeks we've only had two WSP winners, and frankly, I'm getting tired of sending mail to Molly and Dave's houses. Please help: Win the WSP, for pete's sake.

Here are the final standings for Week 5:

1. Molly………12-2
1. George……..12-2
3. Scott………..11-3
3. Bill………….11-3
5. Matthew M…10-4
5. Sandy……….10-4
5. Jon………….10-4
5. Joshu……….10-4
9. Zack…………9-5
9. Tyler………...9-5
9. Joey…………9-5
12. Josh………..8-6
12. Matthew K...8-6
12. Dave……….8-6

And here are the year-to-date standings, as have them. A quick reminder, if you have something different, please email me. Despite my good looks, I'm not infallible (though I occasionally smell that way).

1. Dave……..51-25
2. Bill………49-27
2. George…..49-27
2. Scott…….49-27
5. Jon………47-29
6. Matt K…..46-30
6. Zack……..46-30
6. Molly……46-30
9. Matt M….45-31
9. Joshu……45-31
9. Sandy……45-31
12. Joey……44-32
12. Tyler……44-32
14. Josh…….41-35

Week 6 is fast approaching, and I'll have the schedule up sometime tomorrow. Check back then for more moist football action.

2 comments:

George said...

I can't wait until Vince Wilfork rolls over tony romo's leg this week. the cowboys are dicks.

mattymatty said...

Theres no way the Cowgirls do anything against the Pats this week. I'll actually be in Dallas this week and I can't wait to see the Cowboys get stomped.