Week 9: Results

Every once in a while you feel like you've got an especially good handle on the weekly match ups. The stars align and each match up looks like an easy game. You submit your picks and think, man, I got this thing this week.

And then they play the games.

If it's anything like this week, well, you ain't got it this week. More weirdness out of the NFL this week. Anyone watching the Eagles bandwagon has whiplash from the people jumping off it, then back on it, then back off it again. A nice loss to a slightly better than average Bears team is responsible for the latest neck pain. Anyone who thought, well maybe the Redskins aren't really this bad: WRONG. They most certainly izzity-are. When it comes to the New York "Pastrami" Giants, the Patriots seem to be jinxed. Right when you thought it was safe to put your money on Pittsburgh, the Ravens remind us that it is Pittsburgh. It's all just craziness, I tell you. Craziness.

That craziness helped turn our little Pool(poop!) into a giant mess this week. Nine wins put you in the money race, whereas nine wins wouldn't have won you shit any other week this year. So, getting to the point, you may recall from the update we had a four person race. The Bears won which gave me a chance at the WSP, slim though it may have been. Too slim as it turned out. The vaunted Bears and Eagles defenses did a nice job of escorting their opposing offenses down the field, which, in turn fucked me right in the goat ass. It also fucked Christine Roberts (though her beloved Jets won so she probably didn't care) and Ryan Schultz. The lone non-fucked person left standing in a non-fucked type of way was...

John Weaver!  Yes, again. John Weaver basically took the over in terms of scoring and was rewarded for it by being this week's Big Wiener! Congratulations, John. You win an official Herman Cain presidential handjob! Or taint licking, your choice. Of course, you'll have to wait until the "candidate" pulls out of the race after they find the photos of him molesting a goat. And a walrus. And a different goat. And that different goat's grandmother. You know what? Never mind. I'll just ship you a WSP and be done with it.

Here's how Week 9 turned out:

1. John Weaver ... 9-5
1. Matthew Kory ... 9-5
1. Christine Roberts ... 9-5
1. Ryan Schultz ... 9-5
5. Adam Roy ... 8-6
5. George Smith ... 8-6
5. Zack Klein ... 8-6
5. Joey Bansen ... 8-6
5. Matthew Mariam ... 8-6
5. Dave Labowitz ... 8-6
5. Robin Wood ... 8-6
5. Josh Money ... 8-6
13. Bill Denton ... 7-7
13. Karl Vaillancourt ... 7-7
13. Paddy Althoff ... 7-7
16. Jon Stover ... 6-8
17. Sandy Kory ... 5-9
17. Gedeon Mariam ... 5-9

After nine weeks of meaty football goodness, we've basically had two overlords. First was, you'll recall, Karl Vaillancourt, who ruled with a benevolent hand for about six or seven weeks (I'm too lazy to look it up now) (OK, I looked it up: 6 weeks). Then he was violently overthrown by John Weaver who has steadily increased his lead on the Pool(poop!)! each week. This week he's moved to five games up on the Pool(poop!)!. Thems a commanding lead.

In other news, Dave Labowitz clearly loves second place. I, on the other hand, have extricated myself from last place. So I guess that's something. Here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) as they currently overall stand.

1. John Weaver ... 94
2. Dave Labowitz ... 89
3. Joey Bansen ... 88
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 88
5. Matthew Mariam ... 87
6. Josh Money ... 85
7. Zack Klein ... 83
7. Robin Wood ... 83
7. Ryan Schultz ... 83
10. Christine Roberts ... 82
11. George Smith ... 81
12. Paddy Althoff ... 80
13. Adam Roy ... 78
14. Jon Stover ... 77
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 77
14. Bill Denton ... 77
17. Matthew Kory ... 76
18. Sandy Kory ... 75

Week 10 gets underway this Thursday night. You can send in your Thursday pick independently from the rest of your picks, which must be received by me at the regular 1pm EST time on Sunday.

The Schedule will be up soon. Enjoy your week, everyone.