Week 7: Results

Find your Week 8 Schedule here.

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I'm the worst Pool(poop!) runner-person ever.

Not only can't I pick football games if my testicular health depended on it, but I can't even get the posts up on time. I'm worthless, helpless, hapless, hopeless, and smelly. Especially smelly.

And so it goes, folks. Another moist week of football pick'n action has past. I hope you fucking enjoyed it. I sure as hell didn't. In addition to losing all three fantasy football matches, the Redskins got smoked and injured, and I finished near the bottom of the Pool(poop!) yet again. Then my pick-up truck broke down, my dog bit me and was then run over by a car. And there wasn't even a country-fried hick with a gee-tar anywhere nearby to write a stupid song about it. God dammit I suck.

OK, I'm done now. You'll recall the Pool(poop!) had come down to John Weaver (he all smart 'n stuff) and Christine (J-E-T-S LOSE LOSE LOSE!!) Roberts. I think she likes the Jets. I'm so, so sorry. If the total points were blah blah blah then John would win except he lost. The point total for the Monday Night game was 19 so both John and Christine were over. Christine was the closest by several miles which makes her the Big Wiener!

Congratulations, Christine! You win a big bowl of green paint and a replica Lombardi trophy. The green paint is for the next time you get to go to a Jets game (dunk yourself in it) and the Lombardi trophy is as close as you'll ever come to the real thing.

For a Redskins fan, I'm pretty mean. And dumb. Also did I mention I suck at picking football games?
So, in all seriousness, well done Christine, and congratulations. You'll shortly be receiving the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) which should be enough to buy yourself a nice Joe Namath bobble-flask.

Here are the final standings for Week 7:

1. Christine Roberts ... 10-3
1. John Weaver ... 10-3
3. Joey Bansen ... 9-4
3. Josh Money ... 9-4
5. Paddy Althoff ... 8-5
5. George Smith ... 5-5
7. Robin Wood ... 7-6
7. Matthew Mariam ... 7-6
9. Bill Denton ... 6-7
9. Jon Stover ... 6-7
9. Dave Labowitz ... 6-7
9. Adam Roy ... 6-7
9. Gedeon Mariam ... 6-7
9. Matthew Kory ... 6-7
15. Karl Vaillancourt ... 5-8
15. Zack Klein ... 5-8
17. Ryan Schultz ... 4-9
17. Sandy Kory ... 4-9

For the first time since Week 1 we have a new Fearless Leader (FL). John Weaver has surpassed Karl Vaillancourt, who turned in his first stinker of the year. Even I picked up a game on Karl. Jeez, Karl, what happened, man? Joey Bansen jumped from 6th to 3rd, while Dave Labowitz is still 3 games behind whomever the leader. ...and YOUR Current Overall Standings are...

1. John Weaver ... 74
2. Karl Vaillancourt ... 73
3. Joey Bansen ... 71
3. Dave Labowitz ... 71
5. Matthew Mariam ...69
6. Josh Money ... 68
6. Ryan Schultz ... 68
8. Zack Klein ... 67
8. Robin Woods ... 67
10. George Smith ... 66
11. Paddy Althoff ... 65
12. Christine Roberts ... 64
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 64
14. Jon Stover ... 63
14. Adam Roy ... 63
14. Sandy Kory ...63
17. Bill Denton ... 61
18. Matthew Kory ... 60

Hey, at least you know I ain't cheating, right?