Week 8: Results

First, a quick story.

I posted my picks in the comments section of the Week 8 schedule on Friday as I usually do. The next morning, I read that Vince Young would be QBing the Titans against Jacksonville. "With Crazy Vince at the helm, no way Tennessee wins this week," I thought. I go back to change my post. Instead of writing a second comment below the first and potentially confusing people, I just deleted my original comment with my picks in it, and cut and pasted the schedule again, but this time with Jacksonville instead of Tennessee as my pick. However, in that second comment I neglected to pick the Jets/Miami game. I had previously picked Miami, but because I had forgotten to note that in my new picks, I had to take the loss.

So, to recap, I posted my picks, went back to make a change and cost myself two wins in the process. This just isn't my year.

If you checked the update yesterday, you know that the week came down to three people, each with 10 wins: Dave Labowitz who picked 48 points, and Matthew Mariam and Jon Stover who both picked 51 points. Everyone in the entire pool(poop!) picked New Orleans so that was no tie breaker.

New Orleans won last night, 35-27, for a total of 62 Monday Night Points, meaning Jon Stover and Matthew Mariam are this week's winners! Congratulations to you both. You are going to split this week's prize which is a bag of last week's dirty baby diapers! Yay! I've taken the liberty of setting them on fire and placing them outside your respective abodes. Enjoy!

No, sadly, you both will share the Weekly Standard Prize. Congratulations to you both. (Jon, email me the address you want your check to go to.)

Here are the final standings for Week 8:

1. Jon Stover ... 10-3
1. Matthew Mariam ... 10-3
1. Dave "Tough Luck" Labowitz ... 10-3
4. Joey "Hang'n Tough" Bansen ... 9-4
4. John Weaver ... 9-4
4. Dan Sinclair ... 9-4
7. Zack Klein ... 8-5
7. Adam Roy ... 8-5
7. Karl Vaillancourt ... 8-5
7. Sandy Kory ... 8-5
7. Bill Denton ... 8-5
7. Alex Mena ... 8-5
13. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-6
13. Josh Money ... 7-6
13. Matthew "Not Last Place (this week)" Kory ... 7-6
16. George Smith ... 6-7

And here are the Current Overall Standings through Week 8:

1. Joey Bansen ... 83-33
2. John Weaver ... 82-34
2. Bill Denton ... 82-34
4. Dave Labowitz ... 81-35
4. Gedeon Mariam ... 81-35
4. Jon Stover ... 81-35
7. Dan Sinclair ... 80-36
8. Adam Roy ... 77-39
9. Karl Vaillancourt ... 76-40
9. Josh Money ... 76-40
11. George Smith ... 75-41
12. Matthew Mariam ... 74-42
12. Alex Mena ... 74-42
14. Zack Klein ... 72-44
14. Sandy Kory ... 72-44
16. Me ... 67-49

Back later with the schedule for Week 9...
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Week 8: Update

Happy update, everyone. A quickie here this morning. First of all, and not to go all Peter King on you here, but if you ever make it out to Portland, Oregon you gotta get yourself some Stumptown Coffee. This stuff is the best. In fact it's so good that Peter King probably wouldn't even like it. How's that for an endorsement? I'm enjoying a cup right now from a bag imported to Philly. Good stuff. Nothing goes with crying babies like good coffee...

To the pool(poop!)!

This week we've got three people tied for first place with 9 wins: Matthew Mariam, Jon Stover, and Dave Labowitz. Everyone in the entire pool(poop!) picked New Orleans to win tonight, so that ain't gonna change anything. That means... MONDAY NIGHT POINTS!! You know the drill by now (closest without going over wins, unless everyone goes over then it's just the closest):

Dave Labowitz picked 48 points

Matthew Mariam picked 51 points

Jon Stover picked 51 points

(Jon Stover and Matthew Mariam are going to get married! Because they picked the same amount of points!)

So if the total score of tonight's game adds up to 50 points or less, Dave Labowitz will win the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). If the score is 51 or more, Jon Stover and Matthew Mariam will win and split the WSP.

I'll be back tomorrow with the winner and final standings for Week 8 and an update on the Current Overall Standings (COS). Good luck to none of you!

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Week 8: Schedule

Here's the schedule for Week 8, which begins on Sunday, November 1st at 1pm EST. I'll need all of your picks by then.

Seattle at Dallas
St. Louis at Detroit
Miami at New York Jets
San Francisco at Indianapolis
Cleveland at Chicago
Denver at Baltimore
New York "Lactose Intolerant" Giants at Philadelphia
Houston at Buffalo
Jacksonville at Tennessee
Oakland at San Diego
Minnesota at Green Bay
Carolina at Arizona
Atlanta at New Orleans (plus total points)
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Week 7: Results

Last night I was privileged to spend my evening imbibing with three friends, two of whom, George Smith and Jon Stover, are in the Pool(poop!), and the third, Joshu Shih, who usually is, but elected to spend his time wisely instead.

After several beers, George imparted a story about working with a well known Ben Franklin impersonator here in Philadelphia who refuses to break character unless he's leaving swear-filled rants demanding money for pro bono work on George's answering machine. Its a wonderful story and if you ever see George in a bar by himself (not an unlikely event) in your neck of the woods, pull up a stool, buy the man a beer, and put in a request. It'll be money well spent, I can promise you that. In the meantime, know that if you ever come to Philadelphia and you see a man dressed as Ben Franklin wondering around smiling at people and tugging on his bifocals, do not, under any circumstances, call the man "Ralph" unless you want to tell your friends back at home where ever you live that you got your ass kicked by Ben Franklin.

So what does that have to do with the pool(poop!)? Nothing! I just love that I can force you to read whatever I want. Which reminds me, have I ever told you about Lyndon LaRouche? You really should know about how the government taints the cheese supply with [***edited by blogger********************************************************************************************************]
You'd never think goats could hide huge bags of cocaine there, but apparently they can. Anyway, a little bit off track there, sorry.

TO THE POOL(poop!)!

If you read the updates I post every Monday (GEORGE!) you might recall yesterday I stated in plain English that Bill would win this week's WSP. Well, it has so come to pass! And it's the only damn thing I've predicted correctly this week...

Bil and Joey are the leaders this week with 11 wins, so it comes down to both of them. But because Joey did a triathlon before sending in his picks this week (seriously), he was a bit out of it and forgot to include his Monday Night Points. He did remember to send them in eventually, but sadly for him, it was too late. Sorry, Joey. Congrats on the triathlon, though. Although even if the points hadn't been late Joey would have been over anyway. All of this means...

...BILL DENTON IS THIS WEEK'S WEINER!!!!WINNER!!!!

Bill wins an official Snakes On A Plane coloring book featuring many black and white images of Samuel L. Jackson swearing at large reptiles! Perfect for the little ones!

No, sadly, Bill wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) of $70, which he'll surely spend on Bud. Bill, buy some decent beer, eh?

Here are the final standings for Week 7:

1. Bill Denton ... 11-2
1. Joey Bansen ... 11-2
3. Alex Mena ... 10-3
3. Sandy Kory ... 10-3
3. Jon Stover ... 10-3
3. Dave Labowitz ... 10-3
3. Josh Money ... 10-3
3. John Weaver ... 10-3
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 10-3
3. Dan Sinclair ... 10-3
3. George Smith ... 10-3
3. Zack Klein ... 10-3
13. Gedeon Mariam ... 9-4
13. Matthew Mariam ... 9-4
13. Adam Roy ... 9-4
13. Matthew Kory ... 9-4

All of which leaves the Current Overall Standings (COS) looking thusly:

1. Gedeon Mariam ... 74-29
1. Joey Bansen ... 74-29
1. Bill Denton ... 74-29
4. John Weaver ... 73-30
5. Jon Stover ... 71-32
5. Dan Sinclair ... 71-32
5. Dave Labowitz ... 71-32
8. Adam Roy ... 69 (huh huh huh)-34
8. George Smith ... 69-34
8. Josh Money ... 69-34
11. Karl Vaillancourt ... 68-35
12. Alex Mena ... 66-37
13. Zack Klein ... 64-39
13. Sandy Kory ... 64-39
13. Matthew Mariam ... 64-39
16. Matthew Kory ... 60-43

When you finish last every week it stands to reason you'd be last over all.

Lastly, I had a request last night to include a statistical breakdown of the winners so far. I don't have time to do it now, but I'll try to put it up before the week is out, so check back and hopefully I'll get to it.

The schedule for Week 8 will be up shortly. Have a great week, folks.
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Week 7: Update: Don't Worry, I Still Suck

Last night I spoke with pool(poop!) participant Bill Denton on the phone. We had a nice gentlemanly conversation wherein he accused me of having sex with furniture and I countered by claiming that it was consensual. (It wasn't! Shhhh!)

Of course we also discussed the pool(poop!)! and the fact that Bill is one of the people who is in the running for the WSP this week. I claimed that he was a shoe-in to win this week for reasons I'll get to. Bill claimed that even if it seemed so, his typically abominable luck would do him in. Ever known someone who could get hit with a piano while standing in the middle of a cornfield? Bill's your man. Will Bill's luck hold out, or will the WSP slip through his chicken-stained (?) fingers yet again? Tune in right now to find out!!

To the update!

There was consensus on many games this week. Everyone picked the Charges, Patriots, Colts, and Jets to win. Only one person picked against the Saints, Texans, and Packers. So there's a lot of parity this week.

Heck, even yours truly is 8-4, which gives you the lower bounds of performance this week. The upper bound is ten wins, which four people have. We'll get to the weekly standings tomorrow, but for now things look like this:

10 Wins: Bill Denton, Joey Bansen, Alex Mena, and Sandy Kory

Picked Philly to win tonight: Bill & Joey

Picked Washington to win tonight and should see a doctor immediately: Sandy & Alex

If Philly wins tonight, Bill wins the pool because Joey did not send in his Monday Night Points on time. Sorry Joey. I wish I could accept the points, but it just ain't fair to the other kids.

If Washington wins tonight, well, I'll shit a brick. Then I'll put on my "Brad Johnson" jersey, the one with the duct tape over "Johnson" on the back, and run around my neighborhood until I'm beaten within inches of my life, or for a minute, which ever happens first. But if a whole in the earth swallows the Eagles and the Redskins win, then the total point breakdown looks thusly:

Sandy: 30 points

Alex: 31 points

So, if DC wins tonight and if the total score is 0-30, Sandy will win the WSP. If DC wins and the total score is 31 or above, Alex will win.

But neither of you peeps has a chance cause there isn't a chance in hell that the Redskins... HEY!! WATCH OUT!!! PIANO!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

Back tomorrow with the final standings for the week, the Current Overall Standings (COS) and a bunch of other garbage you'll probably just skip over.

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Schedule: Week 7

Here is the schedule for Week 7. It begins at 1pm EST on Sunday, October 25th, so I'll need all of your picks by then.

Indianapolis at St. Louis
New England at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Cleveland
Minnesota at Pittsburgh
San Francisco at Houston
San Diego at Kansas City
Buffalo at Carolina
New York Jets at Oakland
Atlanta at Dallas
New Orleans at Miami
Chicago at Cincinnati
Arizona at New York "PB&J" Giants
Philadelphia at Washington (plus total points)

Week 6: Results

Wow I suck.

And how bout them Phillies last night?

So, the pool(poop!), huh? Yeah, I'm mired in last place. I can't pick a game to save my life. I could guarantee a win and probably I'd be killed. Oh, you don't care? Only want to hear about yourself?

Fine.

So, you may recall from my Update yesterday that if Denver won, a virtual certainty considering I picked San Diego, the WSP would come down to MNP (shocker) which went something like this:

If the total score is 37 or below, Dave Labowitz wins
Bill Denton has no chance in hell
If the total score is 41 or over, Joey Bansen wins

Denver won (duh) and the total score added up to 57 points, which is larger than a breadbox and more than 41, so Joey Bansen is this week's winner!

This week's prize is an all expenses paid trip to Joey Bansen's apartment! Stay in Joey's bed, eat Joey's food, drink all of Joey's beer and puke in Joey's toilet! Inappropriately touch Joey's dog Mr. Bojangles, and wake in the night to mistakenly urinate in Joey's closet! Oh the fun you'll have. (Offer not valid if you already live there.)

Alright, fine, that's not the prize. Its the normal everyday run-of-the-mill, seen one ya seen 'em all WSP. Enjoy, and congrats.

Joey now ties Gedeon Mariam for the lead in total money with $140.

A couple interesting points about Week 6:

• The Call of The Week goes to Adam for picking (possibly mistakenly) Oakland to beat Philly
  
• The only game that everyone missed was Buffalo beating the Jets.
  

Here's the final standings for Week 6:

1. Joey "First Place" Bansen ... 10-4
1. Bill "No Chance In Hell" Denton ... 10-4
1. Dave "Hymietown" Labowitz ... 10-4
4. John "Hold On To Your Red Snapper" Weaver ... 9-5
4. Dan Sinclair ... 9-5
4. Sandy "Sent In His Picks!!! [balloons fall from ceiling]" Kory .. 9-5
7. George "Drink'n Me Under The Table" Smith ... 8-6
7. Gedeon "Fall'n Like A Rock Off A Cliff" Mariam ... 8-6
7. Jon "And Associates" Stover ... 8-6
7. Josh Money ... 8-6
11. Karl "King Of Wilmington" Vaillancourt ... 7-7
11. Adam "Too... Much... Coffee... Must... Find... Toilet... Soon..." Roy ... 7-7
11. Matthew "Flipped A Coin" Mariam ... 7-7
14. Zack "Kindly Keep'n Me Company" Klein
14. Alex "Should Make A Film Out Of This" Mena
14. Matthew "What? No prize for last place?" Kory

And the Current Overall Standings (COS) without semi-clever nicknames:

1. Gedeon Mariam ... 65-25
2. Joey Bansen ... 63-27
2. John Weaver ... 63-27
2. Bill Denton ... 63-27
5. Jon Stover ... 61-29
5. Dave Labowitz ... 61-29
5. Dan Sinclair ... 61-29
8. Adam Roy ... 60-30
9. Josh Money ... 59-31
9. George Smith ... 59-31
11. Karl Vaillancourt ... 58-32
12. Alex Mena ... 56-34
13. Matthew Mariam ... 55-35
14. Zack Klein ... 54-36
14. Sandy Kory ... 54-36
16. Me ... *sigh* ... 51-39

So, congratulations again to Joey, and hope everyone has an enjoyable week. FU!

Week 7's schedule to come.