Week 4: Results

My, does time fly.  Seems like just yesterday I was pooping in my diapers and today, well, I'm pooping right in my pants.  Things sure do change fast, don't they?

One thing that doesn't change, apparently, is me not winning.  I felt pretty good about my picks this week, but like the other three weeks this year, I wasn't nearly good enough.  Nope.  Jon Stover, and Zack Klein both pulled down eleven wins.  Karl Vaillancourt made a valiant attempt to join the eleven win club, but Miami fell short by about 30 points - doh!  Nice try anyway, Karl.

So it came down to Jon Stover versus Zack Klein.  One thing I discovered while writing this post is you can't make a good anagram out of either of Jon Stover's or Zack Klein's names unless you include their middle names which are "Goatsmilk" and Framboise, respectively.

The Monday Night game totaled 55 points.  Zack guessed 19 but Jon out-guessed him by choosing 43. So by virtue of the fact that Jon was closer to the actual total, which is the point in the first place, Jon Stover is this week's big wiener!

A hearty congratulations goes out to Jonananananathan Goatsmilk Stovererer, IV!  That sentence is even funnier if you try to read it out loud.  Anyway.  But, before we get ourselves all worked up, ya know what?  Normally Jon would win a flaming set of matching toads, or an almanac from 1832 with penises drawn in sharpie on every page, but this week I'm not even going to make something up for Jon to win.  You know why?  Ol' Goatsmilk bought a monthly pass on Jet Blue Airlines - he could fly anywhere in the country he wanted - and he went just about everywhere EXCEPT Portland, Oregon.  Know who lives in Portland, Oregon?  Nobody apparently, except yours truly.  So, Goatsmilk, you win the damn WSP of $70, alright?  Get off my back.  Also, I hereby deputize George Smith (of the 38-24 Smiths) to boot your nads right good.  Enjoy.  And congratulations.  

Here are the final standings for Week 4:

1. Jon Stover ... 11-3
1. Zack Klein ... 11-3
3. Sandy Kory ... 10-4
4. Josh Money ... 9-5
4. Matthew Kory ... 9-5
4. Alex Mena ... 9-5
4. Karl Vaillancourt ... 9-5
8. John Weaver ... 8-6
8. Matthew Mariam ... 8-6
8. Dave Labowitz ... 8-6
8. George Smith ... 8-6
8. Bill Denton ... 8-6
13. Robin Wood ... 7-7
13. Gedeon Mariam ... 7-7
15. Joey Bansen ... 6-8

Just for fun I took a quick look at how we as a whole did the best on all the games.  Here's how we did in chart form:

As you can see, everybody guessed New Orleans, Green Bay, Atlanta, and Houston would win.  Nobody guessed Indianapolis would lose to Jacksonville.  Only four people picked Washington over Philadelphia, Denver over Tennessee, Cleveland over Cincinnati, and the Bears over the Giants.  Only one person picked Buffalo to beat the Jets (they got crushed) and only one person picked Arizona to beat San Diego (they got crushed). 

As for the Current Overall Standings (COS), we had a flip-flop at the very top with Zack Klein jumping ahead of John Weaver.  We're also seeing a fair bit of stratification already as Zack has a two game lead over the field and an eleven game lead over fifteenth place.  Also of note, I am tied with Dave Labowitz.  In case you were wondering, that is an insult.

1. Zack Klein ... 43-19
2. John Weaver ... 41-21
3. Alex Mena ... 39-23
4. Josh Money ... 38-24
4. George Smith ... 38-24
6. Bill Denton ... 37-25
6. Jon Stover ... 37-25
8. Sandy Kory ... 36-26
8. Matthew Kory ... 36-26
8. Dave Labowitz ... 36-26
11. Joey Bansen ... 35-27
11. Karl Vaillancourt ... 35-27
11. Matthew Mariam ... 35-27
14. Gedeon Mariam ... 34-28
15. Robin Wood ... 32-30

The schedule for Week 5 will be posted shortly.  Congrats again to Goatsmilk Stover.  Hope them balls ain't too sore after Dr. Smith gets a'hold of 'em.
.

Week 4: Update! [Now With Accuracy!!]

[Warning: this post has been edited for accuracy.  the truth, gentle souls, is when i write posts at 1am PST mistakes are sometimes made.]

Good evening, folks.  Its been a long but exciting weekend here at MFSAFP(p!)!HQ.  Just got back from the Columbia Gorge where everything is pretty, even in the rain.  Fortunately, we made it through the whole weekend without the wet stuff and even hit up the Hood River Hopsfest where, true story, we drank beer till our heads hurt.

While I was running about the gorge, large sweaty mens in tight pants were hurling themselves at each other while other sweaty mens were throwing balls all about.  It must have been a sight to see.  Sadly, I missed it all, but through the magic of the internets I know exactly what happened.

Thirteen/fourteenths of Week 4 have been completed and we know this much: we have a two leaders and a few followers.  The One leader is Jon Stover, who I believe is currently being held captive by Peruvian rebels at, and this part hasn't yet been confirmed, the state route twelve Burger King.  Jon has ten wins so far.

So does Zack Klein. I am unaware of Mr. Klein's whereabouts, but I know this: the man can count, which is more than can be said of yours truly.

Three Two people have nine wins so far.  Those people are Sandy Kory, Zack Klein, and Karl Vaillancourt.  In order to catch Jon those people have to pick up one game on him with only one remaining.  Both Jon and Zack picked New England over Miami in Monday Night's AFC East slugfest.  So did Sandy, meaning no matter what happens on Monday, Sandy will be a game behind Jon and Zack.  Karl picked Miami.  So he's got a chance.

If Miami wins on Monday then Zack, Jon and Karl will be tied with ten wins and we'll have ourselves a good old fashioned Monday Night Points-off! (MNP-o!)!  Zack picked 19, Karl went with 29 total points and Jon has 43.  If Miami wins and the total score is 28 or under, Zack wins.  If its between 29 and 42, Karl wins. If its 43 or over, Jon wins. 

If New England wins tonight, and the final score is between zero and 42, Zack wins.  If New England wins and the final score is 43 or over, Jon wins. 

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion and a bunch of other hilarious crap, like the Current Overall Standings (COS).  It'll be a dandy.

I'd also like to point out that Sandy was the only one to pick Buffalo to beat the Jets.  They lost 38-14 so he doesn't deserve to win anyway.
.

Week 4: Schedule

If you're looking for the results from Week 3 you can hit 'em up here or just scroll down six inches.

As promised, here's your Week 4 schedule. Try not to drool all over it.

New York Jets at Buffalo
Cincinnati at Cleveland
Seattle at St. Louis
Carolina at New Orleans
Baltimore at Pittsburgh
Denver at Tennessee
Detroit at Green Bay
San Francisco at Atlanta
Indianapolis at Jacksonville
Houston at Oakland
Washington at Philadelphia
Arizona at San Diego
Chicago at New York "Eponymous Muskrat" Giants
New England at Miami (plus total points)
.

Week 4: Results

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Week 4: Update

Several items to discuss here.

1) HOLY CRAP THE REDSKINS WON!!

2) Jon Stover would want me to also point out that HOLY CRAP THE BILLS SUCK!! (You're welcome, Jon.)

3) Lots of wins. With lots of favorites pulling it out, we had lots of wins for everyone this week. Yay. You should all feel super proud of yourselves. Except for my brother, who should be ashamed - ASHAMED - about what he did to that... well, lets just say it involved a chipmunk, a bowl of Cherry Garcia ice cream, and a cheap comedic devise.

So, the pool(poop!).

As of now, before the Monday Night game, there are five players tied with 11 wins. Four of those players picked Minnesota to win. Which means, if Minnesota wins, MONDAY NIGHT POINTS(MNP)!! The MNP distribution is definitely an odd one, as you shall see in a moment. If Minnesota wins, and the total score of the game is...

...between 0-42, Gedeon Mariam, who picked 42, will win
...43 or 44, Bill Denton, who picked 43, will win
...and if the score is 45 or above, Adam Roy and Josh Money will split the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) because both of them chose the same total points of 45 and I'm not making up a new tie-breaker.

Of course, all of that can be avoided if Green Bay wins, which will give the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP) to...

...

...

...

[keep scrolling]

...

alright, fine.

... [psych!]

ME! That's right me, your friendly neighborhood bottom-of-the-pool(poop!)-dweller. So, in other words, don't worry about it because Minnesota will win.

.

Week 4: Schedule

Here is your schedule for Week 4. Please, if you aren't already doing so, can you send me your winners in the order that I post them here? It makes it oh so much easier for me. Many thanks, ho bags. Many thanks.

Detroit at Chicago

Seattle at Indianapolis

Tennessee at Jacksonville

NY “Table Top” Giants at Kansas City

Tampa Bay at Washington

Baltimore at New England

Oakland at Houston

Cincinnati at Cleveland

Buffalo at Miami

NY Jets at New Orleans

Dallas at Denver

St. Louis at San Francisco

San Diego at Pittsburgh

Green Bay at Minnesota (plus total points)

The first game fires up at 1pm EST this Sunday, so I'll need all your picks including your MNP by then. Have a great week.