Week 11: Update

What a good week.  There weren't a ton of easy games, instead, there were lots of competitive games that could have gone either way.  To the credit of the assembled cast of the Pool(poop!), we did a damn good job. 

As for specifics, four people are 10-5 going into Monday night's game.  Which isn't quite good enough, because four other people are 11-4 going into tonight's game, which is the top record in the league so far this week.  Except it isn't, because four other different people are 12-3, which is actually really the best record in the league.  Ha ha!  Fooled you, Jon Stover!

As a matter of fact, unless your last name rhymes with "aquarium" you have 10 wins so far.  Which is just impressive.  So big old golf clap to everyone in the pool for an outstanding blah blah blah who cares you want to know who has 12 wins and more importantly, is it you. 

First I should say, no, it isn't you.  Unless your name is either Sandy Kory, Dave Labowitz, Robin Wood, or Alex Mena.  Then it is you. Bill Denton and I picked the Giants, for which I have an excuse, but to my knowledge Bill hasn't recently had his head surgically implanted into his rectum. 

But, since there are four people right behind the four listed above, things could get really crazy!  Except no, because everyone in the entire pool(poop!) picked San Diego over Denver this Monday night.  That, my friends, is called consensus.  Its like Reagan's second Presidential election up in this piece.  But, like Reagan's second term, it is possible for everyone everywhere to be 100% wrong. 

So everyone who has 11 wins, so sorry, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!*


*I'm pretty sure Bill Denton's dad says this daily.

For all you with 12 wins so far, here's how the Monday Night Points break down:

Alex Mena: 40 points
Sandy Kory: 41 points
Dave Labowitz: 42 points
Robin Wood: 42 points

Because we play Price Is Right rules here at MFSAFP(p!)!, the winner is the one who gets the closest to the actual number without going over.  This means, in essence, Sandy is totally fucked.  Ha ha!  Good luck winning, Sandy!  Also, have fun with my parents on Thanksgiving!  I'm sure going to miss Grandma loading up on wine and peppermint schnapps until she bazooka barfs on the cat.  Again. 

The breakdown goes thusly:

If the point total is between 0 and 40 Alex wins
If the point total is exactly 41, Sandy wins won't (ever ever ever happen)
If the point total is 42 or more, Dave and Robin will split the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP)

Good luck to everyone!  Except Dave!  I'll be back tomorrow to recap Week 11, congratulate the winner or winners, make fun of Gedeon for finishing last again, and post the schedule for Week 12. 
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Week 11: Schedule

Remember, more crappy Thursday Night Football this week, so don't forget to send in Thursday's pick by 8:20pm EST this Thursday, November 18th. 

Here's your schedule for Week 11:

Stupid Game (Thursday Night)

Chicago at Miami

Not Stupid Games (except the Redskins game which will, again, be extremely stupid)

Baltimore at Carolina
Houston at New York Jets
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Oakland at Pittsburgh
Cleveland at Jacksonville
Detroit at Dallas
Arizona at Kansas City
Washington at Tennessee
Green Bay at Minnesota
Seattle at New Orleans
Atlanta at St. Louis
Tampa Bay at San Francisco
Indianapolis at New England
New York "Horatio Sanz is funny mostly because he's fat" Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at San Diego (plus total points)
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Week 11: Results

As you may recall from the pre-update and actual update (could you possibly be any more updated?) this week was going to come down to Monday Night Points between Matthew Mariam and Joey Bansen, and if Tennessee won last night, Zack Klein. Tennessee did win (screwing my fantasy team in the process, thank you very much) so Zack was in it.

Last night's score was 20-17 for 37 total MN points, or "about a million" for those of you who prefer fuzzy math. Zack (39) and Matthew Mariam (41) were both over, leaving the lone wolf, Joey "The Lone Wolf" Bansen holding the winner's dildo! Don't forget to wash your hands, Joey! Oh, and congratulations.

By sheer coincidence, this week's winner receives a DVD of "The Lone Ranger: The Story of Two-Pronged Tonto" stolen borrowed from Jon Stover's Adult DVD Land and Olde Timey Porno Shoppe. Enjoy!

Here's the final standings for Week 11:

1. Joey Bansen ... 13-3
1. Matthew Mariam ... 13-3
1. Zack Klein ... 13-3
4. Bill Denton ... 12-4
4. Jon Stover ... 12-4
4. Karl Vaillancourt ... 12-4
4. Dave Labowitz ... 12-4
4. John Weaver ... 12-4
4. Josh Money ... 12-4
4. Gedeon Mariam ... 12-4
11. Matthew Kory ... 11-5
11. Adam Roy ... 11-5
11. Dan Sinclair ... 11-5
14. George Smith ... 10-6
14. Alex Mena ... 10-6
16. Sandy Kory ... 7-9

We're finally getting some stratification in the The Current Overall Standings. Bill and Joey are leading the way with Jon, Gedeon, Dave and John following. After that it's poop-at-the-wall time, which explains my Redskins over the Cowboys pick this past week. Please note, I am not in last place in either standings. [pause for applause and applesauce] Thank you! Thank you very much...

COS are as follows:

1. Bill Denton ... 112-48
1(a). Joey Bansen ... 112-48
3. Jon Stover ... 111-49
3. Gedeon Mariam ... 111-49
5. Dave Labowitz ... 110-50
6. John Weaver ... 109-51
7. Dan Sinclair ... 107-53
8. Matthew Mariam ... 105-55
9. Adam Roy ... 104-56
9. Zack Klein ... 104-56
11. Josh Money ... 103-57
12. George Smith ... 102-58
12. Karl Vaillancourt ... 102-58
14. Alex Mena ... 100-60
15. Matthew Kory ... 95-65
16. Sandy Kory ... 92-68

It's a packed schedule coming up with three games on Turkey Day. So, as per usual, I'll need all of your picks by Thursday at 12:30 pm EST. I suggest you just flip a coin and send your picks in as soon as possible.

Week 12 schedule to come. Have a great holiday everyone.
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Week 11: Actual Update

OK, peeps, here's the situation. With one game to go tonight, we've got three of y'all still in it. Joey Bansen and Matthew Mariam have 13 wins, the most in the pool(poop!). There's a few more with 12 wins, but just about everyone in the pool(poop!) picked Houston over Tennessee tonight including Joey and Matthew, so if you have twelve wins and Houston, you ain't picking up any ground.

Only one guy with 12 wins picked Tennessee to win tonight and can therefore potentially tie Joey and Matthew. That person is [ ... drum roll ...] Zack Klein. But, as you'll see in a minute, Zack's pretty screwed even if Tennessee wins.

Since we've got a tie one way or the other, its gonna come down to Monday Night Points. Here's how it breaks down. If Tennessee wins tonight, Zack, Joey, and Matthew will all have 13 wins.

In that instance:

• If the total score is between 0 and 38, Joey Bansen will win.
• If the total score is 39 or 40, Zack Klein will win.
• If the total score is 41 or higher, Matthew Mariam will win.

If Houston wins tonight, here's the point breakdown:

• If the total score is between 0 and 40, Joey Bansen will win.
• If the total score is 41 or higher, Matthew Mariam will win.

Good luck to all involved, and as a side note I'd just like to say that if my stupid Redskins hadn't folded like me with two Aces in Dallas I'd be taking home the $70 right now. That's right, me. But no. F'n kicker can't hit a 39 yarder in a damn dome...

Back tomorrow with the final results for Week 11, the updated Current Overall Standings, hilarious poop jokes, and the schedule for Week 12.
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Week 11: Pre-Update

It's certainly been an exciting week so far. With one game in the books, I've already been eliminated from contention. In yesterday's Panthers/Dolphins game I picked the Pottsville Maroons. Doh! Stupid passage of time...

As it stands now, we've got a three way tie for first. Joey Bansen, Matthew Mariam, and Zack Klein are all running away with this thing. They're all undefeated! And, here's the strange thing, nobody else has even a single win! Shameful.

I'll be back Monday morning with your regularly scheduled Week 11 Update. Until then, if anyone sees Jon Stover, please remind him to put his pants back on.

That is all.

Week 11: Schedule

Here is the schedule for Week 11. It starts this Thursday at November 19 at 8pm EST. I'll need all of your picks by then.

Miami at Carolina
Pittsburgh at Kansas City
New Orleans at Tampa Bay
Atlanta at New York "Fungible" Giants
Buffalo at Jacksonville
Indianapolis at Baltimore
Seattle at Minnesota
Cleveland at Detroit
Washington at Dallas
San Francisco at Green Bay
Arizona at St. Louis
New York Jets at New England
Cincinnati at Oakland
San Diego at Denver
Philadelphia at Chicago
Tennessee at Houston (total points)

Have a great week.
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