This schedule is like a pie: delicious and fattening.
Send in all your picks at once or your Thursday pick before the Thursday game (8:20pm EST) and the rest of the picks before the start of Sunday's games (1pm EST).
Thursday:
Philadelphia at Seattle
Sunday & Monday:
Oakland at Miami
Tennessee at Buffalo
Kansas City at Chicago
Denver at Minnesota
New York Jets at Washington
Cincinnati at Pittsburgh
Atlanta at Houston
Carolina at Tampa Bay
Indianapolis at New England
Baltimore at Cleveland
Dallas at Arizona
Green Bay at New York "Gat-Toothed" Giants
St. Louis at San Francisco
Detroit at New Orleans
San Diego at Jacksonville (plus total points)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Week 12: Results
It's late and I'm tired so this is going to be a shorty. Week 12 closed with a bang as the Saints scored 712 points against something that used to be the Giants defense. It is no longer the Giants defense, it is now a reusable colostomy bag. Why? Because they got shat on again and again. Stay with me, people.
The ridiculous number of points scored (actually it was 73 points) meant that everyone was under. Thus the one with the highest pick would win, and that was Josh Money. Congratulations, Josh! You win a reusable colostomy bag! Or the Weekly Standard Prize, which ever you prefer.
Here are the the final standings for Week 12.
1. Josh Money ... 14-2
1. Robin Wood ... 14-2
3. Christine Roberts ... 13-3
3. Matthew Kory ... 13-3
3. Gedeon Mariam ... 13-3
3. Dave Labowitz ... 13-3
7. Bill Denton ... 12-4
7. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
7. Zack Klein ... 12-4
7. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
11. Jon Stover ... 11-5
11. Adam Roy ... 11-5
11. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
14. Ryan Schultz ... 10-6
14. Karl Vaillancourt ... 10-6
16. John Weaver ... 9-7
16. George Smith ... 9-7
18. Matthew Mariam ... 8-8
With five weeks to go, it's getting hot up in this piece. Better start making your moves, people. Time to make up some ground or go the heck home. Remember, the top three overall finishers win dough. Right now, that would be Weaver, Labowitz, and then Wood and Money would split the third place share. But Karl Vaillancourt is just two wins back, Christine Roberts just four back, Zack Klein five back, Joey Bansen six and blah blah blah you get the point. This is anyone's Pool(poop!). But, you best grab it while you still can. Five more weeks remaining is all.
Week 12 lead to some tightening in the standings. For example, John Weaver's 7 game lead over the pack in general and Dave Labowitz in specific is now down to 3 games. Robin Wood and Josh Money (you'll find their names at the top of the Week 12 standings) have not surprisingly moved up the old ladder, now tying for third place.
Current Overall Standings (COS):
1. John Weaver ... 123
2. Dave Labowitz ... 120
3. Robin Wood ... 118
3. Josh Money ... 118
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 116
6. Christine Roberts ... 114
7. Zack Klein ... 113
8. Joey Bansen ... 112
8. Matthew Mariam ... 112
10. Bill Denton ... 110
10. Gedeon Mariam ... 110
12. Matthew Kory ... 109
13. Sandy Kory ... 107
14. Ryan Schultz ... 104
15. George Smith ... 102
16. Paddy Althoff ... 101
17. Jon Stover ... 100
18. Adam Roy ... 99
One final note, I'd like to congratulate Adam Roy who became a dad this past week. Congrats, man, and as one dad to another, that little jar of strained carrots tastes pretty much like it looks.
The ridiculous number of points scored (actually it was 73 points) meant that everyone was under. Thus the one with the highest pick would win, and that was Josh Money. Congratulations, Josh! You win a reusable colostomy bag! Or the Weekly Standard Prize, which ever you prefer.
Here are the the final standings for Week 12.
1. Josh Money ... 14-2
1. Robin Wood ... 14-2
3. Christine Roberts ... 13-3
3. Matthew Kory ... 13-3
3. Gedeon Mariam ... 13-3
3. Dave Labowitz ... 13-3
7. Bill Denton ... 12-4
7. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
7. Zack Klein ... 12-4
7. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
11. Jon Stover ... 11-5
11. Adam Roy ... 11-5
11. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
14. Ryan Schultz ... 10-6
14. Karl Vaillancourt ... 10-6
16. John Weaver ... 9-7
16. George Smith ... 9-7
18. Matthew Mariam ... 8-8
With five weeks to go, it's getting hot up in this piece. Better start making your moves, people. Time to make up some ground or go the heck home. Remember, the top three overall finishers win dough. Right now, that would be Weaver, Labowitz, and then Wood and Money would split the third place share. But Karl Vaillancourt is just two wins back, Christine Roberts just four back, Zack Klein five back, Joey Bansen six and blah blah blah you get the point. This is anyone's Pool(poop!). But, you best grab it while you still can. Five more weeks remaining is all.
Week 12 lead to some tightening in the standings. For example, John Weaver's 7 game lead over the pack in general and Dave Labowitz in specific is now down to 3 games. Robin Wood and Josh Money (you'll find their names at the top of the Week 12 standings) have not surprisingly moved up the old ladder, now tying for third place.
Current Overall Standings (COS):
1. John Weaver ... 123
2. Dave Labowitz ... 120
3. Robin Wood ... 118
3. Josh Money ... 118
5. Karl Vaillancourt ... 116
6. Christine Roberts ... 114
7. Zack Klein ... 113
8. Joey Bansen ... 112
8. Matthew Mariam ... 112
10. Bill Denton ... 110
10. Gedeon Mariam ... 110
12. Matthew Kory ... 109
13. Sandy Kory ... 107
14. Ryan Schultz ... 104
15. George Smith ... 102
16. Paddy Althoff ... 101
17. Jon Stover ... 100
18. Adam Roy ... 99
One final note, I'd like to congratulate Adam Roy who became a dad this past week. Congrats, man, and as one dad to another, that little jar of strained carrots tastes pretty much like it looks.
Week 12: Update
Just got back from Seattle where I saw my Redskins blow their draft position to holy hell with my brother. I've never met a nicer group of fans though. I actually high-fived a Seahawks fan after a Redskins touchdown. I wasn't trying to be a dick, he held his hand up, asking me to.
In the alcohol-and-victory induced haze of the afternoon (not to mention wet undergarmets which don't increase productivity at all) I didn't get to follow the Pool(poop!) during the day. As such, it was quite a surprise to come back home, throw everything up on ye olde spreadsheet at once, and see how the numbers fell.
First I should say we all did a fucking crazy amazing job. There isn't a group of NFL analysts working who did better this week. And yet we all can't have candy, can we?
With one game to go, five people have twelve wins on the week. But that doesn't really matter because two people have 13 wins. The two buzz-kills in question are Josh Money and Robin Wood who have 13 out of 15 nailed.
But, both Josh and Robin picked New Orleans tomorrow, which opens the hole to any of the 12 win people to tie them by picking (correctly) the New York "Public Toilet" Giants to win. The only one of the five to take up the challenge was Joey Bansen.
Here's how it breaks down for the Monday night game which will decide this week's Big Wiener (BW).
If the Giants win and the total score is...
... 41 or less, Joey Bansen wins.
... between 42 and 51, Robin Wood wins.
... 52 or higher, Josh Money wins.
If the Saints win and the total score is...
... 51 or less, Robin Wood wins.
... 52 or higher, Josh Money wins.
Back tomorrow or Tuesday with the results!
In the alcohol-and-victory induced haze of the afternoon (not to mention wet undergarmets which don't increase productivity at all) I didn't get to follow the Pool(poop!) during the day. As such, it was quite a surprise to come back home, throw everything up on ye olde spreadsheet at once, and see how the numbers fell.
First I should say we all did a fucking crazy amazing job. There isn't a group of NFL analysts working who did better this week. And yet we all can't have candy, can we?
With one game to go, five people have twelve wins on the week. But that doesn't really matter because two people have 13 wins. The two buzz-kills in question are Josh Money and Robin Wood who have 13 out of 15 nailed.
But, both Josh and Robin picked New Orleans tomorrow, which opens the hole to any of the 12 win people to tie them by picking (correctly) the New York "Public Toilet" Giants to win. The only one of the five to take up the challenge was Joey Bansen.
Here's how it breaks down for the Monday night game which will decide this week's Big Wiener (BW).
If the Giants win and the total score is...
... 41 or less, Joey Bansen wins.
... between 42 and 51, Robin Wood wins.
... 52 or higher, Josh Money wins.
If the Saints win and the total score is...
... 51 or less, Robin Wood wins.
... 52 or higher, Josh Money wins.
Back tomorrow or Tuesday with the results!
Monday, November 21, 2011
Week 12: Schedule
Happy Turkey Day! I'll need all your Thursday picks by the start of the first game Thursday. The rest of the picks are needed by 1pm EST on Sunday.
Thursday Games (12:30pm EST):
Green Bay at Detroit
Miami at Dallas
San Francisco at Baltimore
Sunday Games (1pm EST):
Minnesota at Atlanta
Carolina at Indianapolis
Cleveland at Cincinnati
Buffalo at New York Jets
Tampa Bay at Tennessee
Arizona at St. Louis
Houston at Jacksonville
Washington at Seattle
Chicago at Oakland
New England at Philadelphia
Denver at San Diego
Pittsburgh at Kansas City
New York "Hidey Ho!" Giants at New Orleans (plus total points)
Thursday Games (12:30pm EST):
Green Bay at Detroit
Miami at Dallas
San Francisco at Baltimore
Sunday Games (1pm EST):
Minnesota at Atlanta
Carolina at Indianapolis
Cleveland at Cincinnati
Buffalo at New York Jets
Tampa Bay at Tennessee
Arizona at St. Louis
Houston at Jacksonville
Washington at Seattle
Chicago at Oakland
New England at Philadelphia
Denver at San Diego
Pittsburgh at Kansas City
New York "Hidey Ho!" Giants at New Orleans (plus total points)
Week 11: Results
Like a drunk camper fondling a sleeping bear, we're getting up against it. There are six weeks left in this, your gloriously moist NFL season.
This week was probably the most successful week we've had in the Pool(poop!)! so far. Fifteen of you won ten or more games and eight won eleven or more. Sheer craziness. My brother, Sandy, almost became the first to have an undefeated week this year. Humorously enough, he missed the Thursday night game and then won the next 13 in a row. That, as I noted in the update, makes him this week's Big Wiener! As the anointed Big Wiener, he wins a no expenses paid trip to Seattle with yours truly to see the Redskins play the Seahawks, where he'll certainly be physically threatened and urinated upon. If he's lucky. And that's just by me.
Actually, Sandy really does win that prize, but by league rules he's also required to win the Weekly Standard Prize as well. Darn rules.
Here are your Week 11 final standings:
1. Sandy Kory ... 13-1
2. Robin Wood ... 12-2
2. Matthew Mariam ... 12-2
4. Bill Denton ... 11-3
4. Josh Money ... 11-3
4. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-3
4. John Weaver .. 11-3
4. Paddy Althoff ... 11-3
9. Joey Bansen ... 10-4
9. Jon Stover ... 10-4
9. Adam Roy ... 10-4
9. Christine Roberts ... 10-4
9. Matthew Kory ... 10-4
9. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-4
9. George Smith ... 10-4
16. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
17. Zack Klein ... 8-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 8-6
The Current Overall Standings (COS) are getting worse and worse for anyone whose name doesn't rhyme with Ron Beaver. Mr. Beaver, er, Weaver has increased his lead over Dave "Dollars" Labowitz (true story: get Bill Denton drunk on Bud some night and he'll tell you. twice.) from five to seven games. A seven game lead over the pack with six weeks go? That's INSANE (read like a 2am used car ad). Dave's hold on second place is slipping as well, from 3 games to a single game over Karl Vaillancourt. In fact, the difference between seventh place and second is the same as the one between second and first. As I said, good for Ron Beaver, not so good for the rest of us dirty whores.
Here are YOUR COS:
1. John Weaver ...114
2. Dave Labowitz ... 107
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 106
4. Robin Wood ... 104
4. Josh Money ... 104
4. Matthew Mariam ... 104
7. Christine Roberts ... 101
7. Zack Klein ... 101
9. Joey Bansen ... 100
10. Bill Denton ... 98
11. Gedeon Mariam ... 97
12. Sandy Kory ... 96
12. Matthew Kory ... 96
14. Ryan Schultz ... 95
15. George Smith ... 93
16. Paddy Althoff ... 92
17. Adam Roy ... 90
18. Jon Stover ... 89
Don't forget: three games this Thursday. I'll need all those picks by the start of the day. You ain't got no time, son. Send that shit too-dey.
This week was probably the most successful week we've had in the Pool(poop!)! so far. Fifteen of you won ten or more games and eight won eleven or more. Sheer craziness. My brother, Sandy, almost became the first to have an undefeated week this year. Humorously enough, he missed the Thursday night game and then won the next 13 in a row. That, as I noted in the update, makes him this week's Big Wiener! As the anointed Big Wiener, he wins a no expenses paid trip to Seattle with yours truly to see the Redskins play the Seahawks, where he'll certainly be physically threatened and urinated upon. If he's lucky. And that's just by me.
Actually, Sandy really does win that prize, but by league rules he's also required to win the Weekly Standard Prize as well. Darn rules.
Here are your Week 11 final standings:
1. Sandy Kory ... 13-1
2. Robin Wood ... 12-2
2. Matthew Mariam ... 12-2
4. Bill Denton ... 11-3
4. Josh Money ... 11-3
4. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-3
4. John Weaver .. 11-3
4. Paddy Althoff ... 11-3
9. Joey Bansen ... 10-4
9. Jon Stover ... 10-4
9. Adam Roy ... 10-4
9. Christine Roberts ... 10-4
9. Matthew Kory ... 10-4
9. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-4
9. George Smith ... 10-4
16. Dave Labowitz ... 9-5
17. Zack Klein ... 8-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 8-6
The Current Overall Standings (COS) are getting worse and worse for anyone whose name doesn't rhyme with Ron Beaver. Mr. Beaver, er, Weaver has increased his lead over Dave "Dollars" Labowitz (true story: get Bill Denton drunk on Bud some night and he'll tell you. twice.) from five to seven games. A seven game lead over the pack with six weeks go? That's INSANE (read like a 2am used car ad). Dave's hold on second place is slipping as well, from 3 games to a single game over Karl Vaillancourt. In fact, the difference between seventh place and second is the same as the one between second and first. As I said, good for Ron Beaver, not so good for the rest of us dirty whores.
Here are YOUR COS:
1. John Weaver ...114
2. Dave Labowitz ... 107
3. Karl Vaillancourt ... 106
4. Robin Wood ... 104
4. Josh Money ... 104
4. Matthew Mariam ... 104
7. Christine Roberts ... 101
7. Zack Klein ... 101
9. Joey Bansen ... 100
10. Bill Denton ... 98
11. Gedeon Mariam ... 97
12. Sandy Kory ... 96
12. Matthew Kory ... 96
14. Ryan Schultz ... 95
15. George Smith ... 93
16. Paddy Althoff ... 92
17. Adam Roy ... 90
18. Jon Stover ... 89
Don't forget: three games this Thursday. I'll need all those picks by the start of the day. You ain't got no time, son. Send that shit too-dey.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Week 11: Update
After the ridiculous Denver game which three of you bastards inexplicably got right, well, I had fell back on the old 'you can't predict football' maxim. Turns out, actually, you can.
Collectively we all kicked some buttooty this week. But as we all know, there can be only one Zool. Of the 13 game that have been played in Week 11, my brother Sandy has won 12. The next best are Matthew Mariam and Robin Wood with 11 wins each. 11 out of 13 is pretty damn impressive, but this week it nets you jack and shit.
Normally, there would be a shot at catching Sandy, but since the Monday night match up is another turdfest of a game, everyone picked New England. And with good reason. Thus, nobody can catch Sandy and, as such, he is this week's big wiener. Yay.
Back tomorrow or Tuesday with the Current Overall Standings and the wrap up for Week 11.
Remember, folks, there aretwo three games on Turkey Day this year, so DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN YOUR PICKS!!
Collectively we all kicked some buttooty this week. But as we all know, there can be only one Zool. Of the 13 game that have been played in Week 11, my brother Sandy has won 12. The next best are Matthew Mariam and Robin Wood with 11 wins each. 11 out of 13 is pretty damn impressive, but this week it nets you jack and shit.
Normally, there would be a shot at catching Sandy, but since the Monday night match up is another turdfest of a game, everyone picked New England. And with good reason. Thus, nobody can catch Sandy and, as such, he is this week's big wiener. Yay.
Back tomorrow or Tuesday with the Current Overall Standings and the wrap up for Week 11.
Remember, folks, there are
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Week 11: Schedule
For Week 11 Schedule, add bacon, bacon bits, bac-o's, and a full side of bacon. Mix. Repeat until sick.
Thursday Night:
New York Jets at Denver
The rest of it:
Carolina at Detroit
Cincinnati at Baltimore
Oakland at Minnesota
Buffalo at Miami
Tampa Bay at Green Bay
Dallas at Washington
Jacksonville at Cleveland
Seattle at St. Louis
Arizona at San Francisco
Tennessee at Atlanta
San Diego at Chicago
Philadelphia at New York "Hermaphroditic" Giants
Kansas City at New England (plus total points)
I'll need your Thursday pick by 8:20pm EST this Thursday. If you forget to send in your Thursday picks, you're not disqualified! You'll take the loss on Thursday, but you're much better off sending me the rest of your picks.
The rest of the week starts at 1pm EST this Sunday. Have a good week, everyone.
Thursday Night:
New York Jets at Denver
The rest of it:
Carolina at Detroit
Cincinnati at Baltimore
Oakland at Minnesota
Buffalo at Miami
Tampa Bay at Green Bay
Dallas at Washington
Jacksonville at Cleveland
Seattle at St. Louis
Arizona at San Francisco
Tennessee at Atlanta
San Diego at Chicago
Philadelphia at New York "Hermaphroditic" Giants
Kansas City at New England (plus total points)
I'll need your Thursday pick by 8:20pm EST this Thursday. If you forget to send in your Thursday picks, you're not disqualified! You'll take the loss on Thursday, but you're much better off sending me the rest of your picks.
The rest of the week starts at 1pm EST this Sunday. Have a good week, everyone.
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