Time for another yummy dose of schedule. Open wide.
Detroit at Dallas
Pittsburgh at Houston
San Francisco at Philadelphia
Minnesota at Kansas City
Washington at St.Louis
Buffalo at Cincinnati
Tennessee at Cleveland
New Orleans at Jacksonville
Carolina at Chicago
Atlanta at Seattle
New York Giants at Arizona
Denver at Green Bay
New England at Oakland
Miami at San Diego
New York Jets at Baltimore
Indianapolis at Tampa Bay (plus total points)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Week 3: Results
Week 3 is in the books and what a books (?) it is!
Nothing like starting off the weekly results post by not making any damn sense. But when considering the week that was in the NFL, or as Chris Carter would say, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, maybe it's fitting. The Bills? The Lions? The Eagles? Jeez... who saw that shit coming, right? Well, to be fair and in order, three people, everyone, and Ryan Schultz. Ryan was the only one to pick the New York Coitus Giants. Unfortunately he wasn't so lucky with his other picks, as we shall see.
But, to resume from our Update yesterday, as you will recall, a Redskins win ensured John Weaver's first WSP of 2011. A Dallas win threw open the doors to chaos. We all know chaos is the default setting in life, a fact that many of us ignored by stupidly choosing the Redskins. I'm a founding member of that group, sadly.
Dallas' win meant the week came down to Monday Night Points (MNP) but Dallas' redzone incompetence meant that the score stayed low, a measly 34 points. You'll remember from the update that if the score was between 0 and 34 total points, the winner would be (and is)...
Sandy Kory!
Sandy wins a trip to exotic Prague! An all inclusive stay in beautiful Prague with a 4 star hotel and pre-made reservations at the best restaurants! The only thing is you can't be in Prague at the time of the award... oh... guess what? Drat! Maybe next time my globetrotting brother won't be so cavalier about uh, globetrotting. The good news is that the WSP of $80 comes out to 1,432 Czech Crowns. So, you know, there is that.
Here are the final standings for Week 3 in the Pool(poop!):
1. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
1. John Weaver ... 11-5
1. Zack Klein ... 11-5
5. Joey Bansen ... 10-6
5. George Smith ... 10-6
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-6
5. Josh Money ... 10-6
5. Jon Stover ... 10-6
5. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
5. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
5. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
13. Dave Labowitz ... 9-7
13. Robin Wood ... 9-7
13. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
13. Bill Denton ... 9-7
17. Paddy Althoff ... 6-10
18. Adam Roy ... 5-11
I've changed up the way I present The Current Overall Standings (COS) this year. You olde heads may have noticed I've dropped the records and am just going with total wins. It's the same thing, and you get the same sense of where you are in comparison with your other pool(poop!)mates, but it's so much easier on yours truly.
Anyway, here. COS:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 39
2. John Weaver ... 36
3. Zack Klein ... 33
3. Dave Labowitz ... 33
5. Ryan Schultz ... 32
5. Matthew Mariam ... 32
7. Robin Wood ... 31
7. Joey Bansen ... 31
9. Jon Stover ... 30
9. George Smith ... 30
9. Josh Money ... 30
12. Sandy Kory ... 29
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 29
12. Paddy Althoff ... 29
12. Bill Denton 29
12. Matthew Kory ... 29
17. Christine Roberts ... 28
18. Adam Roy ... 27
If you can do simple math and your name isn't Karl Vaillancourt then you may notice that your ass is getting kicked by Karl Vaillancourt. He's got a 3 game lead on the field and a six game lead on the money. Which, is insane. Still, we're only there weeks into this baby (that's a gross visual, huh?) so there's still time to climb out of the abyss if your name is (picking one at random) Matthew Kory. Actually, he's fucked.
But if you're anyone else you still have a shot. So don't forget to send in those picks (ADAM!) this week. The schedule will be up shortly. Have a great week everyone.
Nothing like starting off the weekly results post by not making any damn sense. But when considering the week that was in the NFL, or as Chris Carter would say, the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE, maybe it's fitting. The Bills? The Lions? The Eagles? Jeez... who saw that shit coming, right? Well, to be fair and in order, three people, everyone, and Ryan Schultz. Ryan was the only one to pick the New York Coitus Giants. Unfortunately he wasn't so lucky with his other picks, as we shall see.
But, to resume from our Update yesterday, as you will recall, a Redskins win ensured John Weaver's first WSP of 2011. A Dallas win threw open the doors to chaos. We all know chaos is the default setting in life, a fact that many of us ignored by stupidly choosing the Redskins. I'm a founding member of that group, sadly.
Dallas' win meant the week came down to Monday Night Points (MNP) but Dallas' redzone incompetence meant that the score stayed low, a measly 34 points. You'll remember from the update that if the score was between 0 and 34 total points, the winner would be (and is)...
Sandy Kory!
Sandy wins a trip to exotic Prague! An all inclusive stay in beautiful Prague with a 4 star hotel and pre-made reservations at the best restaurants! The only thing is you can't be in Prague at the time of the award... oh... guess what? Drat! Maybe next time my globetrotting brother won't be so cavalier about uh, globetrotting. The good news is that the WSP of $80 comes out to 1,432 Czech Crowns. So, you know, there is that.
Here are the final standings for Week 3 in the Pool(poop!):
1. Sandy Kory ... 11-5
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 11-5
1. John Weaver ... 11-5
1. Zack Klein ... 11-5
5. Joey Bansen ... 10-6
5. George Smith ... 10-6
5. Gedeon Mariam ... 10-6
5. Josh Money ... 10-6
5. Jon Stover ... 10-6
5. Matthew Mariam ... 10-6
5. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
5. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
13. Dave Labowitz ... 9-7
13. Robin Wood ... 9-7
13. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
13. Bill Denton ... 9-7
17. Paddy Althoff ... 6-10
18. Adam Roy ... 5-11
I've changed up the way I present The Current Overall Standings (COS) this year. You olde heads may have noticed I've dropped the records and am just going with total wins. It's the same thing, and you get the same sense of where you are in comparison with your other pool(poop!)mates, but it's so much easier on yours truly.
Anyway, here. COS:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 39
2. John Weaver ... 36
3. Zack Klein ... 33
3. Dave Labowitz ... 33
5. Ryan Schultz ... 32
5. Matthew Mariam ... 32
7. Robin Wood ... 31
7. Joey Bansen ... 31
9. Jon Stover ... 30
9. George Smith ... 30
9. Josh Money ... 30
12. Sandy Kory ... 29
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 29
12. Paddy Althoff ... 29
12. Bill Denton 29
12. Matthew Kory ... 29
17. Christine Roberts ... 28
18. Adam Roy ... 27
If you can do simple math and your name isn't Karl Vaillancourt then you may notice that your ass is getting kicked by Karl Vaillancourt. He's got a 3 game lead on the field and a six game lead on the money. Which, is insane. Still, we're only there weeks into this baby (that's a gross visual, huh?) so there's still time to climb out of the abyss if your name is (picking one at random) Matthew Kory. Actually, he's fucked.
But if you're anyone else you still have a shot. So don't forget to send in those picks (ADAM!) this week. The schedule will be up shortly. Have a great week everyone.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Week 3: Update
It's late and I'm really tired. I'll update this later today with more specific information, but for now, our fearless leader is John Weaver with 11 wins. There are a ton of people (including yours truly) who have 10 wins so far. John has the Skins (Washington to be all technical on you) tonight so if you have a) fewer than ten wins, b) ten wins and the Skins, you're, I'm sorry to say, F'd. If you have 10 wins and Dallas, you can, in theory, catch and tie John. I'll post the specifics here later today. But right now I'm going to pass out.
* * * UPDATE * * *
Shockingly I was leading the pool(poop!) by a game after the early games. Not at all shockingly that lead didn't last. In fact, I was passed by about everyone. But enough about me. Let's talk about someone who actually knows what they're doing. Let's talk some John Weaver.
John Weaver not only has the finest hair you've ever seen -- and I'm not kidding folks, it's f'n exquisite! -- but he is the only person in the pool to manage 11 wins so far this week. Six people did manage 10 wins however, so in contrast to past weeks, we actually have a bit of drama here. As John as a one game lead on the field, if he has the Monday Night game correct then it's a done deal. Nobody can catch him.
John perhaps foolishly put his money down on the Washington Redskins. If somehow the Redskins fail to beat the Cowboys in Dallas, that throws open the doors to the rabble. In this case the rabble is Sandy Kory, Karl Vaillancourt, and Zack Klein.
So, if Dallas wins, it comes down to Monday Night Points (MNP). Recall, if it does come down to MNP the winner will be the genius who gets closest to the total number of points scored without going over (Price Is Right rules). With that as a backdrop, here's the situation:
Sandy 29
Karl 35
Zack 42
John 44
If Dallas wins, and the total number of points scored is
* * * UPDATE * * *
Shockingly I was leading the pool(poop!) by a game after the early games. Not at all shockingly that lead didn't last. In fact, I was passed by about everyone. But enough about me. Let's talk about someone who actually knows what they're doing. Let's talk some John Weaver.
John Weaver not only has the finest hair you've ever seen -- and I'm not kidding folks, it's f'n exquisite! -- but he is the only person in the pool to manage 11 wins so far this week. Six people did manage 10 wins however, so in contrast to past weeks, we actually have a bit of drama here. As John as a one game lead on the field, if he has the Monday Night game correct then it's a done deal. Nobody can catch him.
John perhaps foolishly put his money down on the Washington Redskins. If somehow the Redskins fail to beat the Cowboys in Dallas, that throws open the doors to the rabble. In this case the rabble is Sandy Kory, Karl Vaillancourt, and Zack Klein.
So, if Dallas wins, it comes down to Monday Night Points (MNP). Recall, if it does come down to MNP the winner will be the genius who gets closest to the total number of points scored without going over (Price Is Right rules). With that as a backdrop, here's the situation:
Sandy 29
Karl 35
Zack 42
John 44
If Dallas wins, and the total number of points scored is
- between 0 and 34, Sandy Kory wins.
- between 35 and 41, Karl Vaillancourt wins.
- either 42 or 43, Zack Klein wins.
- 44 or more, John Weaver wins.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Week 3: Schedule
Oh calm the hell down. Here's your week 3 schedule:
Jacksonville at Carolina
Detroit at Minnesota
San Francisco at Cincinnati
Miami at Cleveland
New England at Buffalo
New York Coitus Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at Tennessee
Houston at New Orleans
New York Jets at Oakland
Kansas City at San Diego
Baltimore at St. Louis
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Chicago
Arizona at Seattle
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis
Washington at Dallas (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com by 1pm EST this Sunday, September 25th
Jacksonville at Carolina
Detroit at Minnesota
San Francisco at Cincinnati
Miami at Cleveland
New England at Buffalo
New York Coitus Giants at Philadelphia
Denver at Tennessee
Houston at New Orleans
New York Jets at Oakland
Kansas City at San Diego
Baltimore at St. Louis
Atlanta at Tampa Bay
Green Bay at Chicago
Arizona at Seattle
Pittsburgh at Indianapolis
Washington at Dallas (plus total points)
Send your picks to mattyspool@gmail.com by 1pm EST this Sunday, September 25th
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Week 2: Results
Wow, am I bad at this. So so so bad. I thought it was a tough week, then I looked at just about everyone else's picks. Nope, not really that hard. Special thanks to Christine and my brother for not sending in his picks. Maybe I'll back into one one of these weeks.
Actually, this gives me a good opportunity to talk about not sending in your picks. It happens people. I mean, I like to believe that you all live, breath, sleep, eat, shit, eat that shit, and sleep again the pool(poop!), but I know that sometimes sending in your picks just falls through the cracks. Maybe your parents were killed in a helicopter accident. Maybe flesh-eating locusts devoured your brother. Maybe your legs were caught in a bear trap. Multiple bear traps actually. And you had to gnaw them off at the ankles. Who am I to judge? We all face hardships in life and sometimes the pool(poop!) is secondary. Reminds me, sorry about your legs Sandy!
So when that happens I don't want it to destroy your season here in the pool(poop!). It's in everyone's interest to have fun with this and it's more fun when you're in contention. Back in the old days when I used to send weekly schedules by mastodon, I gave people all the home teams, or the favorites. But then we encountered situations wherein people who didn't send in their picks got better records than people who did. And that can't stand. So what I do now is take the worst record that anyone has that week and then subtract a game. This week Christine finished 9-7, ergo Sandy gets 8-8. It sucks, and it's tough to dig yourself out from, but it won't necessarily destroy your season.
Well, actually, if Karl Vaillancourt keeps picking like this, we're all F'd anyway, so the whole policy doesn't much matter. Krazy Karl, as I've taken to calling him -- and by "taken to calling him" I mean "just started calling him" (if you think that's bad wait till you see what I call him after he wins again next week) -- isn't perfect on the year. But he's damn close. Out of 32 games, Krazy Karl has 28 of 'em right. I couldn't get that many correct if you gave me the answers beforehand.
So without further ado (poo!), here's how things ended up in Week 2:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 15-1
2. John Weaver ... 14-2
2. Dave Labowitz ... 14-2
4. Matthew Mariam ... 13-3
5. Robin Wood ... 12-4
5. Jon Stover ... 12-4
5. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
5. Zack Klein ... 12-4
5. George Smith ... 12-4
5. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
5. Josh Money ... 12-4
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 11-5
12. Adam Roy ... 11-5
14. Bill Denton ... 10-6
14. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
14. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
18. Sandy Kory ... 8-8
That's right, John Weaver went 14-2 and didn't even make it to Monday Night Points. Jeez... All of which means, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's Big Weiner! For his exemplary efforts, Karl wins a DVD, Souffle the Manning Way: Baking with Eli. We're all looking forward that cheese and mushroom recipe, Karl! No, sadly, Karl only wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Again (again).
Which reminds me: you'll never guess who is in first place over all. I'll give you negative four guesses! Wrong! It's Karl Vaillancourt who will be, if we all aren't careful, able to put a down payment on a house in sixteen weeks. Here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 2:
Current Overall Standings (COS)
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 28 wins
2. John Weaver ... 25
3. Dave Labowitz ... 24
4. Ryan Schultz ... 23
4. Paddy Althoff ... 23
6. Adam Roy ... 22
6. Matthew Mariam ... 22
6. Robin Wood ... 22
6. Zack Klein ... 22
10. Joey Bansen ... 21
11. Bill Denton ... 20
11. Jon Stover ... 20
11. Josh Money ... 20
11. George Smith ... 20
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 19
15. Matthew Kory ... 19
17. Christine Roberts ... 18
17. Sandy Kory ... 18
I'll have the schedule for Week 3 up shortly. Congrats again to Krazy Karl Vaillancourt. Oh! And Karl, if you hear a rustling in your bushes any night this week, it's Dave Labowitz. Put some beer in a saucer, put it on the front stoop, and lock all your doors and windows.
Actually, this gives me a good opportunity to talk about not sending in your picks. It happens people. I mean, I like to believe that you all live, breath, sleep, eat, shit, eat that shit, and sleep again the pool(poop!), but I know that sometimes sending in your picks just falls through the cracks. Maybe your parents were killed in a helicopter accident. Maybe flesh-eating locusts devoured your brother. Maybe your legs were caught in a bear trap. Multiple bear traps actually. And you had to gnaw them off at the ankles. Who am I to judge? We all face hardships in life and sometimes the pool(poop!) is secondary. Reminds me, sorry about your legs Sandy!
So when that happens I don't want it to destroy your season here in the pool(poop!). It's in everyone's interest to have fun with this and it's more fun when you're in contention. Back in the old days when I used to send weekly schedules by mastodon, I gave people all the home teams, or the favorites. But then we encountered situations wherein people who didn't send in their picks got better records than people who did. And that can't stand. So what I do now is take the worst record that anyone has that week and then subtract a game. This week Christine finished 9-7, ergo Sandy gets 8-8. It sucks, and it's tough to dig yourself out from, but it won't necessarily destroy your season.
Well, actually, if Karl Vaillancourt keeps picking like this, we're all F'd anyway, so the whole policy doesn't much matter. Krazy Karl, as I've taken to calling him -- and by "taken to calling him" I mean "just started calling him" (if you think that's bad wait till you see what I call him after he wins again next week) -- isn't perfect on the year. But he's damn close. Out of 32 games, Krazy Karl has 28 of 'em right. I couldn't get that many correct if you gave me the answers beforehand.
So without further ado (poo!), here's how things ended up in Week 2:
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 15-1
2. John Weaver ... 14-2
2. Dave Labowitz ... 14-2
4. Matthew Mariam ... 13-3
5. Robin Wood ... 12-4
5. Jon Stover ... 12-4
5. Joey Bansen ... 12-4
5. Zack Klein ... 12-4
5. George Smith ... 12-4
5. Paddy Althoff ... 12-4
5. Josh Money ... 12-4
12. Gedeon Mariam ... 11-5
12. Adam Roy ... 11-5
14. Bill Denton ... 10-6
14. Christine Roberts ... 10-6
14. Matthew Kory ... 10-6
17. Ryan Schultz ... 9-7
18. Sandy Kory ... 8-8
That's right, John Weaver went 14-2 and didn't even make it to Monday Night Points. Jeez... All of which means, Karl Vaillancourt is this week's Big Weiner! For his exemplary efforts, Karl wins a DVD, Souffle the Manning Way: Baking with Eli. We're all looking forward that cheese and mushroom recipe, Karl! No, sadly, Karl only wins the Weekly Standard Prize (WSP). Again (again).
Which reminds me: you'll never guess who is in first place over all. I'll give you negative four guesses! Wrong! It's Karl Vaillancourt who will be, if we all aren't careful, able to put a down payment on a house in sixteen weeks. Here are the Current Overall Standings (COS) through Week 2:
Current Overall Standings (COS)
1. Karl Vaillancourt ... 28 wins
2. John Weaver ... 25
3. Dave Labowitz ... 24
4. Ryan Schultz ... 23
4. Paddy Althoff ... 23
6. Adam Roy ... 22
6. Matthew Mariam ... 22
6. Robin Wood ... 22
6. Zack Klein ... 22
10. Joey Bansen ... 21
11. Bill Denton ... 20
11. Jon Stover ... 20
11. Josh Money ... 20
11. George Smith ... 20
15. Gedeon Mariam ... 19
15. Matthew Kory ... 19
17. Christine Roberts ... 18
17. Sandy Kory ... 18
I'll have the schedule for Week 3 up shortly. Congrats again to Krazy Karl Vaillancourt. Oh! And Karl, if you hear a rustling in your bushes any night this week, it's Dave Labowitz. Put some beer in a saucer, put it on the front stoop, and lock all your doors and windows.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Week 2: Update
You don't want to know.
OK, fine. Karl won again. Dave Labowitz almost won, but he didn't. Silly Eagles.
Back tomorrow with the specifics. Congrats (again) to Karl.
OK, fine. Karl won again. Dave Labowitz almost won, but he didn't. Silly Eagles.
Back tomorrow with the specifics. Congrats (again) to Karl.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Week 2: Schedule
Quit yer yappin! Here's the Week 2 Schedule:
Seattle at Pittsburgh
Oakland at Buffalo
Arizona at Washington
Tampa Bay at Minnesota
Jacksonville at New York Jets
Chicago at New Orleans
Green Bay at Carolina
Baltimore at Tennessee
Kansas City at Detroit
Cleveland at Indianapolis
Dallas at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Denver
San Diego at New England
Houston at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
St. Louis at New York Flatulence Giants (plus total points)
As always, email your winners and Monday Night Points to mattyspool@gmail.com by the start of the first game.
Seattle at Pittsburgh
Oakland at Buffalo
Arizona at Washington
Tampa Bay at Minnesota
Jacksonville at New York Jets
Chicago at New Orleans
Green Bay at Carolina
Baltimore at Tennessee
Kansas City at Detroit
Cleveland at Indianapolis
Dallas at San Francisco
Cincinnati at Denver
San Diego at New England
Houston at Miami
Philadelphia at Atlanta
St. Louis at New York Flatulence Giants (plus total points)
As always, email your winners and Monday Night Points to mattyspool@gmail.com by the start of the first game.
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